I always thought the first time I drank was with a friend when we were 13, getting drunk on her dad's beer. Just sitting here, I had these two memories beat me over the head: The first time I drank I was actually in my parents kitchen, by myself, drinking a glass of mixed liquors I'd siphoned from various bottles in the liquor cabinet. And after that I remember a few months later walking by myself around the corner from school on my lunch break and chugging a couple of mini-bar sized shots of liquor I'd stolen from my parents.
Real normal there. So, so weird that I hadn't remembered these two incidents until now. Remembering this led me to also remember a time when my boyfriend (ex) had to come pick me up from the subway station because they wouldn't let me on transit. I had completely blocked that out, too.
Hey Ruby.. I've had similar memory flashbacks since becoming sober. Though I clearly remember the first drink, and the last drunk, the 24 years in between are a bit hazy to say the least. It's not always necessarilly drunk experiences, either. Prime example- "what years did you attend college".. Seemingly a standard question with a clear answer. Haha not for me! I started when I was 17, went for a year, took a break, went back... I honestly don't remember! I thought this a trivial detail that doesn't matter for years when drinking- what does it matter? I recently was asked this question and out came the answer. For years people would ask the same question and id be stumped. I mean, I really just didn't care! Not a big deal, but I was simply too busy drinking to pay attention to such 'mundane details'. I was totally out of touch with my life and reality. I'm
Also in the process of writing a resume- do I know what years I worked at such and such a place? Yikes! Little snippets of my life are coming back to me now that I've been sober a few months.. But it's a bit scary to have all these 'blanks'. I'm so grateful to not be living in that drunken haze any longer!
