Sponsorship and friendship are not the same. Many alcoholics chose the softer option of friendship and they end up in trouble. Those that choose a good sponsor, will grow spiritually and they will end up having a conscious contact with God. The sponsor will deal with our defects of character primarily. Therefore it's not a pleasant option.
But once the defects are worked on, contrition expressed and amends made, a good sponsor will leave. [steps 4-9] The AA book says that we will enter the world of the spirit.[step 10]. It also says that sanity will have returned and we stop fighting.[pg 84] If we want to express gratitude, then we must work with others.
In the world of the spirit I am drawn to others spirits in different ways, and labeling one as a friend or best friend is isolating others. I am just who I am today, and they are just who they are today.
I must say that either I disagree or I simply don't understand your point here ... Personally, like Will Rogers said, at least I think it was Will Rogers,
"A stranger is just 'a friend' I haven't met yet" fits my attitude completely ...
and using the word 'friend' to me is more a description than a 'label' ... and to use the term 'best friend' means I have someone that I can talk to freely about the personal things going on in my life ... and if this 'friend' happens to be my 'mentor', then that works out even better for us ...
Pappy
-- Edited by Pythonpappy on Thursday 27th of December 2012 02:27:02 PM
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Work comes first. If you sponsor winds up as a friend also...that's great. Boundaries are necessary and program talk is a priority. I am friends with my sponsor but I defer to him and talk program only when necessary.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Sponsorship and friendship may not be the same, but I think it helps ... ... ... sure, a sponsor may sometimes have to come down hard on someone that keeps straying away from our principles, but I think if my sponsor told me to make a turn that kept me from falling off a cliff, then I would most definitely consider him my friend ...
The relationship I have with my sponsor, is that of very close brothers ... My wife and I invite him and his wife over for dinner and to play some cards from time to time ... we have become close, like family ... and both our lives have become open books ... I feel it's relationships like this, that is the what the BB's purpose is all about ... you know?, to learn to love and live sober and develop relationships that would otherwise never happen ...
I have to say that MY sponsor is also my Best Friend ...
Just my humble opinion,
Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
In the world of the spirit I am drawn to others spirits in different ways, and labeling one as a friend or best friend is isolating others. I am just who I am today, and they are just who they are today. Always changing. If I am willing to see "what's up" each new day and stay open to any sort of "dance of the spirit", sometimes a tango happens in the most unexpected conversations with the people I would least expect to have them, and it's such a delight. If I were to label my experiences, and label certain ones friends or not, I would be less open to those who I have decided aren't my friends. In this program, where people can be changing rapidly or even just 'enough', It would be a shame to limit myself in that way.
It would keep me somewhat in the close minded ways of my past. In my personal opinion, it can be the reason newcomers get overlooked, as we are clicky and congregating to our little comfortable same corners, keep our judgements of others in our pockets before we ever even check to see who someone is 'today'. I try to sit next to someone new. I try and step out of my comfort zone and into someone elses if I can. I try to walk in with an open positive attitude, giving everyone the benefit of the doubt. I appreciated it when someone did that for me so much. : )
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
My first sponsor told me to just let people be who they are...and that works for me. I've also heard that we're not humans trying to have a spiritual experience...we're spiritual beings trying to have a human experience. Sponsor or friend...we're linked...and I am grateful!
I get what you're saying Rog : ) I prefer different words today that's all. I got no beef with people who use different words than me today... anyway - you might change your mind tomorrow, and I'll still love you.
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
The people I sponsor are some of my best friends. I always tell them what we have is a partnership anything is open to dicussion. When I tell them I see something they are doing may be a problem for them they are able to take it better because we re friends and partners in recovery.
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Tell me and I'll forget. Teach me and I'll remember. Involve me and I'll learn.
