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Post Info TOPIC: Anyone secretly glad it's over?
justadrunk


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Anyone secretly glad it's over?
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I will be glad when the house is back to it's normal state of cleanliness. I did not spend the whole day focusing on cleaning up after everyone, or how big the mess was getting. I spent the day at a slow and steady pace of picking up/cleaning up/preparing more here and there, but not a frenzy trying to be super maid/super server like years in the past - literally running to keep up, sweating, never sitting down, never even for a moment to enjoy a glass of egg nog. I did that yesterday - 2 glasses of egg nog actually... made from scratch, extra nutmeg : ) I'm proud of how the day went for my insides. Not trying to be 'too' anything that felt unhealthy and insane for me.

But needless to say, all I see this morning are mounds and mounds of messes to clean up.

It has to be cleaned by tomorrow as I'm back to work - here from home - and keep the place presentable for my students and all eyes that go along with that out of respect for them.

Each time I bend over and my back screams knock it off to me, I will try and remember how grateful I am that I have this life; this stuff; these people to mess up my house; wanting to hang out with me in it; showing me how to be a jolly fun guest, not worrying about if I'm imposing or making too much trouble at all.

I not only have a hard time not seeing the trouble, I also have a hard time not feeling like trouble, and I take my perfectionism with me where ever I go, never allowing myself to drop a crumb.

I'm learning to not see the tragedy of a little mess VERY purposefully and slowly. It pains me to sit here amongst these piles. It's that place I feel stuck in - trying to force myself to be something I'm not today... I can't not worry about entirely - not yet.

I'm so grateful for this program of recovery, that teaches me to be gentle with myself, allow myself time, allow my mind to focus on the tools I've been provided, and turn over what I just can't budge without the help of a power greater than me.

Thanks for being here : )



-- Edited by justadrunk on Wednesday 26th of December 2012 09:22:42 AM

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turninggrey


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I am the last guy to be Ebenezer Scrooge, but I am a bit relieved Christmas is over! I actually turn on Christmas music starting in October, I really work Christmas for the kids, I work real hard with the budget and the events, and make sure the appropriate Christmas shows are watched, but Damn if I am not ready for some Led Zepplin and The Who to come crashing out of the entertainment center! 



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Picaposie


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It's just another day...but I understand. I'm sure you made some great memories for everyone though!

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ghostman1960


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As this was my worst Christmas ever I am do glad its over.

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Col


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Hahaha... I absolutly get it! Although I actually did enjoy this Christmas, I feel like I can exhale now! I took it pretty low- key... And funny you should mention Zeppelin, cuz I watched "The Song Remains the Same" yesterday as part of my movie marathon:)

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Col
mikef


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Hey Tom,blessings of this day......Yes I can't wait to vacuum up the tree and get house ready for my wife and I's big New Years Party.Each year we stay in bed,have cinnamon buns and coffee and watch Honeymooners Marathon all day. I have seen every episode,even the lost ones,so many times I can probably recite the lyrics...AND I still laugh as hard as I did when I was a kid watching with my dad...over 55 years ago.....now thats a party!!! Truly blessed and grateful to be present!!!!!smilesmile



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Pythonpappy


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I feel we should hold on to that 'feeling' of the Christmas season on a daily basis ... the giving part ... not the retail or material part or the celebratory part ...

In fact, one of the main principles of AA is to give when we have recovered enough to the point we can offer our help to others who are still suffering ... it's just that it's become a 'way of life' that I truly enjoy so much ... and I think, why not hold onto this the year round ???


God Bless and may everyone's New Year start off sober,
Pappy



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RubyTues


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Yes.

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nezyb


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The funny thing about Christmas is it comes whether you are "ready" for it or not, and then goes just the same way. My oldest daughter's birthday is October 27th. Every year, it seems like it's her birthday, then BAM!!! it's Christmas before I know it. I too, like Tasha used to spend so much time and effort on "appearing" to be the perfect hostess, wife, mother, etc. etc.. Now, when I think of perfection, I think of the meeting I was sitting in where my friend shared about her perfectionist ideals and how exhasting they were to try and attain. Lightbulb moment for me, for sure. Today, I try to remember to thank my HP for allowing me to wake up another day, and ask that I may do his/her/it's work as they see fit for me. When I lay my head down, i try to remember to be grateful for the day , and say so. God willing, 2012 will be the first year of my life in over 30 years that I have been completely clean and sober for the entire year. That is truly a miracle, one that I am ever grateful for. Peace

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StPeteDean


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yeah, this one was stranger than most with the Myan calendar crap

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Chaya


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Mine was surprisingly pleasant but I'm glad it's over.

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RubyTues


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I just undecked the halls. Ahhhh.

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Frodo


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Always. I've never been that excited about Xmas or the stuff that goes with it.

I like new years though. It's nice to start fresh and with a clean slate, even if all of that is just a brief illusion.

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