Lmao. Tipsy always looking for new angle. "let's see, if I can just change my mind, about how I feel, after a drunken evening and associated ignorant behavior". lol
Sure, that'll work
-- Edited by StPeteDean on Thursday 20th of December 2012 08:18:48 PM
It's the savage mental beating we give ourselves for it afterward. You've met those people, the kind who happily get hammered and do things far more embarrassing than we ever would. Yet they wake up bright eyed and busy tailed without a care in the world. It's almost as if they're unaware that they're supposed to berate themselves and feel crushed under the weight of undue guilt and remorse! You know, like we've learned to do. Or maybe we need to unlearn that behaviour? Maybe that's our problem? Maybe it's allowing ourselves to be swallowed up by our self pity that causes us to moan and cry after what many would simply think of as a fun night out? All I know is that I made the conscious decision to stop feeling sorry for myself and ever since I'm a happier man.
Anybody drinking to get smashed is going to reach the point of being miserable eventually. You have no idea what's going on with other people and their drinking, nor does it matter. All that matters is your drinking and what it does to you. I see you keep trying to intellectualize it and make it more complicated than it is. For most of us, we are alcoholics and cannot drink. Period.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
You see that's the lie we keep telling ourselves when confronted people who love life, enjoy drinking and don't mentally abuse themselves the next morning. We get on our high horse and say "oh boy, they'll be sorry someday"...but maybe they're not conditioned to hate themselves and to wallow in self pity. Maybe they're just happy. Hard to imagine for us self-loathers but it is something to consider.
Step one - we admitted we were alcoholics and that our lives had become unmanageable.
It doesn't say in that step that we needed to figure out if others lives are unmanageable , or if they are alcoholic or not - just our own.
I do not feel that people who drink normally will be sorry someday. I do not judge other people's drinking good or bad or otherwise. I don't try and convince myself of ways that I think other people drink and that maybe I could drink like them if I just did this or that, or had this or that mental concept while or after doing - nope - not anymore. Not since I did the steps and found a HP.
I do not need to focus on how others drink today. That obsession has been removed for today.
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
Nope. It was the drink that made me miserable. I can only look at it from my perspective so maybe things are different for others, but my last five years of drinking was a living hell. Some of it was mental but some of it was physical, so just putting on a happy face wasn't going to stop me feeling terrible all the time.
"
What is the connection between depression and alcohol?
We know that there is a connection self-harm and suicide are much more common in people with alcohol problems. It seems that it can work in two ways:
you regularly drink too much including (including binge drinking) which makes you feel depressed OR
you drink to relieve anxiety or depression.
Either way:
Alcohol affects the chemistry of the brain, increasing the risk of depression.
Hangovers can create a cycle of waking up feeling ill, anxious, jittery and guilty.
Life gets depressing arguments with family or friends, trouble at work, memory and sexual problems. "
Yea, everybody has their story. I can't compare my insides with other people's outsides. If I could have woken up after those crazy nights knowing that I didn't have to do it again unless I wanted to, I might have been alright with it. The fact was, another bout was coming and I couldn't stop it. Always getting tight at precisely the wrong moment was me.
I can see some of your point, there might be people under the bridge who are cool with that. Fact was, I had to get off the downward elevator. The hideous four horseman where slowly killing me. Thank God.
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Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
Yes, I went down that road several times when I was still drinking. Didn't really work out for me. It actually fully backfired after a while and I wound up worse off for the attempts. That's just me, though. Not every alcoholic...
When my sponsor said I needed to get rid of my 'old way of thinking' and learn a 'new way to think' ... I don't think this is what he had in mind ... I never could 'think' my way out of a bad hangover ... I never learned to 'think' my way into getting my strength together to even go into work ... alcohol made my 'thinking' defective ... alcohol got me to rationalize things into believing it was doing me no harm ... alcohol lied to me ... perhaps alcohol is lying to you too ???
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Tipsy McStagger wrote:RE: Lets be honest, it's not the drinking that makes us miserable...
It's the savage mental beating we give ourselves for it afterward. You've met those people, the kind who happily get hammered and do things far more embarrassing than we ever would. Yet they wake up bright eyed and busy tailed without a care in the world. It's almost as if they're unaware that they're supposed to berate themselves and feel crushed under the weight of undue guilt and remorse! You know, like we've learned to do. Or maybe we need to unlearn that behaviour? Maybe that's our problem? Maybe it's allowing ourselves to be swallowed up by our self pity that causes us to moan and cry after what many would simply think of as a fun night out? All I know is that I made the conscious decision to stop feeling sorry for myself and ever since I'm a happier man.
Yeah Tipsy, ... Let's do be 'honest' ... ... ... Don't know about you, but I proved to myself what's written in the AA BB ... I proved that alcoholism is a progressive disease ... I proved that I would follow King alcohol to the gates of Hell ... I very nearly died from it and in so doing proved yet again, the 'fatal nature' of this disease ... you go ahead and romance it if you wish, but for me, I chose a better life today, one without the poison that made my life a 'living Hell' ... Maybe you still have some lessons to learn regarding this disease, I don't know ... but 'by all means' come back and tell us how great your life is next year after a little more time in the bottle ... I pray you don't kill yourself seeking the 'peace and serenity' that is so freely offered by the AA 'way of life' ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Tipsy good to hear from you. The peculiar mental twist of an Alcoholic. Rationalizing and justify each thought that pops into my head. I can relate. I tried every angle possible. It didn't work out to well for me. Different angle- same result. I do know for me and many others I hear from- we Alcoholics think WAY to much. We can complicate anything, instead of keeping it simple. For me it's a self centered diesase of fear. I could not avoid the guilt and shame. It ate my lunch. Maybe that's what separates us from them. Don't know. Doesn't matter. My life is better today thanks to my HP(God) and The 12 Steps of AA. I don't miss the living hell I was in.
Sorry, but it was the drinking that made me miserable...the actual drinking, getting ready to drink, recovering from drinking and the fallout from drinking. It all sucked in the end. Tipsy I truly hope that someday you get it and stop trying to rationalize your alcoholism. This disease is just so cunning, baffling and deadly. I makes me sad when I think of all the people I knew from the halls who just never got it and I ended up going to yet another funeral. There is a simple solution.
Good point Tipsy, it wasn't the drink that made me miserable.
If it was, all I would have to do is stop drinking and I would be happy. I tried that, stopped for three months. I got even more miserable and ended up so depressed I couldn't get out of bed. Literally I was bed ridden for weeks. (no AA of course). So I returned to my old solution, alcohol, which at least gave temporary relief.
Later I discovered alcohol wasn't my problem at all, it was but a symptom. The real problem was selfishness, self-centredness. That's what made me miserable.
