The delicately planned sins of today are a bit different than they were a year ago. Today I trudge to the back pen to tend to my buried-alive-in-snow hobby farm animals. Some of them are less than a year old, and haven't experienced 14 inches of snow suddenly, yet gently turn their world white.
I soaked in the squeals of my children's delight as they tried out this new fluffy wonderland. My youngest (3) has no memories of a snow fall like this. They "poofed" about the farm, flopping and rolling with zealously planned experiments... and I... just groaned as I dug out the feeders and water buckets... swearing I would move south soon.
It hadn't occurred to me yet at that early hour, that my life was glistening before me. I hurried through the worry... and moved my feet even faster. The moments that lead me to see my amazing grace, were overlooked, and the search for His will was left behind.
To enjoy and appreciate something I just never have was my challenge today. To remember that through a power greater than me, I may frolic and laugh with my friends, human and otherwise. To always remember, that I must be quiet and still, and remember why I am here.
A year ago today, I was only 2 weeks away from coming to this MIP board and starting my recovery journey. I didn't know if I would survive this disease. I didn't know if I wanted to. I didn't know that I could not only be free from the desire to drink, but learn to be a mother, wife, daughter, friend and neighbor worth having. I didn't know I was worth this amazing journey, and I didn't know I could ever be so grateful for it. I didn't know that I didn't know.
I still don't know much. I do however know that being snowed doesn't suffocate me anymore... it just means I have digging to do... and I'm rather happy to do it thanks to you.
-- Edited by justadrunk on Tuesday 11th of December 2012 04:27:02 PM
-- Edited by justadrunk on Wednesday 12th of December 2012 08:34:54 AM
That was nice...soooo nice. Glad to have been able and here to watch your journey. Mahalo Nui...Thanks so much. If you don't mind I'll stick around and keep watching...I'm sure there is much to learn from this. (((((hugs)))))
Tasha does indeed have the 'gift' of expressing her world with meaningful, poetic, words ... the good novels I've read, and it must be in the thousands now, are able to take you to the scene with such clarity that you feel like you're actually there ... participating in the plot ... I've said it before and will say it again, Tasha could, and should write a book describing her AA journey ... I'd be first in line to buy a copy ... The best books leave the reader not just satisfied, but inspired to be better than they have been in the past ...
Love you Tasha and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
You have a wonderful way with words, dear. Maybe you need to explore that further. I hope you do. Maybe it's time to build a snowman. I would, but I'm snowless in NY.
