The last few days have been o.k. Not good just o.k. I went to 3 meetings in 3 days and a district meeting on the 4th. day. I also phoned my Sponsor and took calls from Sponsee's. I didn't feel like I was one with my HP(God). I felt like I was off the Spiritual beam. I prayed about it. It came to me this morning that I was blocked from the Spiritual beam. What was the blockage? Worry, rooting in the soil of fear. Eventhough I went through the motions each morning surrendering my will and my life over to the care of God, I hadn't take the action to follow up on the pray. The action for me is when worry creaps into my mind- reminding myself that I'm powerless and that I must turn it over. The action is to let it go! I'm but a very small part of this vast universe and must keep my head were my feet are. There's no fear in the present moment. It's all from thoughts of the past or the future that get me into trouble.
Lesson learned- It truly is a daily reprieve. I can't stay Spritually fit on yesterdays sobriety or actions to that end. I need to take action today to maintain that fit Spiritual condition. I must remind myself: worry is caused by excessive self-will and if that's the case, that I haven't fully surrendered to the God of my understanding. I'm still trying to run some aspect of my life. My life is far better when I let go and accept the path God chooses for me. If I'm one with God, the rest of my life is none of my business.
I have also had periods where I think I'm just being willful and thinking I should change things that don't need changing and meddle in things that don't need my meddling. That stops me from doing my HP's will and from being at peace too. It's a challenge because my job is to be involved in other people's lives and to make insights about how they can improve things. It's hard for me to turn off that mentality about others and myself and just let things be. AA has given me some ability to do that. Before AA, my mind was whirling and chaotic all the time and I drank to shut it down.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Wow! This thread is perfect for me today. The fear has been increasing since yesterday and everything feels off. What is great, though, is that I am learning the early signs of being spiritually depleted instead of only seeing it once it has me in crisis.
Awareness compared to delusion or denial ,a true gift of our recoveries. Through the years,when I find myself in this spiritual funk ,I get into my spiritual readings and I am reminded," DO NOT WORRY,not about what I eat or drink ,my body or what I will put on it.Is not LIFE( ours free of active addiction) more than food or clothing? Look at the birds of the air,they neither sow or reap nor gather into barns yet our Higher Power feeds them.And are you not even of more value to that Power than them? WHICH OF YOU BY WORRYING CAN ADD ONE DAY TO YOUR LIFE? Therefore do not worry about tomorrow,for tomorrow will worry about its own things Sufficient for today is its own troubles". "Be not anxious for nothing,but in everything by prayer and supplication,with "thanksgiving"(our gratitude)let your requests be made known to that Power(God of your understanding)and the peace of God,which surpasses all understanding will guard your heart and mind thru that Powers grace and mercy." (paraphrased)...Bringing us to our constant daily reflection of our 3rd and 11th Steps, being in the 'CARE' of and "SEEKING" to improve our conscious contact with that Power.Thanks for help today Mike, I will seek that fit spiritual condition,Just For Today that allows my Higher Power to take my will and my life(in the care of),guide my journey,teach me how to live..
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
When the hamsters strart running wild up there, i just have to keep letting it go and giving it to God, I can't entertain the stuff, although sometimes it's difficult.
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Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
It is a daily reprieve. I SORTA KINDA get that finally ; )
I've been "banking up" this week because my husband will be gone next week, and I wont be able to go very many meetings. Truthfully, it still scares me a little, but I know from my initial experience of putting this program TOP PRIORITY when I needed to in the beginning, that if push came to shove, and something happened where I NEEDED to get to lot of meetings next week... I would be capable of finding a way. I've done it before. So really I have nothing to worry about, yet it's my brain that wants to control things still... and my heart that still can fret.
What a great message and reminder that my HP is doing for me what I can not do for myself... (even today when I think I've got it all put together)... if I let him. In care of; seeking... excellent, thanks... just what I needed to hear.
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
The action is to let it go! I'm but a very small part of this vast universe and must keep my head were my feet are. There's no fear in the present moment. It's all from thoughts of the past or the future that get me into trouble. 