I been sober 3 in a half months now, and there still so cliquey they go places never think to invite me they dont call me ever when i call or text thenm its very seldom it sucks
Aloha Tee Tee and welcome to the board...I don't quite understand all that other than your sober time and congradulations on the 90 days...Keep on keeping on...HP...meetings, sponsor, steps, traditions practice, practice, practice. (((hugs)))
My husband and I were just talking about this last night : ) Welcome to the board by the way...
I think really it's a matter of people in AA just like everywhere, trying to do the best they can with what they know. We all have insecurities coming in, and everyone feels a little lost at first, even if in other ways we feel like we're finally home. I believe my HP has things laid out exactly how they are suppose to be for me, so I really do try hard to accept the things I perceive as "bad" just as if they are good. I know it took doing the steps, working with a sponsor and rigorously doing this program to the best of my ability, to get to a place in my mind and heart where what other people "did" wasn't AT me, it just was what it was. I could then practice love and tolerance for all and myself.
I try and remember that everyone just wants a friend, and no one is a perfect friend. Give them time to learn how to approach newcomers better, to get over their own insecurities and pray for them... they are just practicing at this thing we call life too : )
In the meantime, you can find so many wonderful people to talk to here on this board... so please do keep coming back... and keep posting : )
Hugs to you Tee Tee, Tasha
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
Hi TeeTee...welcome to the board! Hey, would you like to come have coffee or ice cream with me? It might be a bit of a drive but we'd have fun! Thank you for the reminder that I need to remember to reach out to the newbies in my group. Sometimes we just get into our friends and we're yakking away and forget to grab the newbie and by the time we realize what's going on the newbie has rushed out the door! Try going up to a group and just stand there...or say I like what you had to say or something. It takes practice and there is no time like the present to start! Good luck and keep comin back!
Welcome Tee Tee! Glad to have you here with us. Sometimes it takes time for folks to fit into The Fellowship outside of meetings. It did for me. What I noticed on my part was, I wasn't really put myself out there to others. Kinda waiting for them to scope me up and take me in. As I moved my feet in the direction I thought I wanted to go, more doors opened.
I know what you mean, we have one or two groups like that here that seem to have forgotten their primary purpose. But the good news is there are usually alternative meetings to try. Perhaps you could look for a Big Book study or Steps group. They are often a lot more focussed on the AA message and the people who attend those meetings usually do so because they are serious about their sobriety and want to do a better job of carrying the message.
Congratulations on your 90 days. that was a major turning point for me.
I been sober 3 in a half months now, and there still so cliquey they go places never think to invite me they dont call me ever when i call or text thenm its very seldom it sucks
Glad to read that you have 3 1/2 months sober. That's great.
Keep up the good work!
Maybe try another meeting or another group. Sometimes groups can be clique-y. Sometimes, the newcomer may be too shy or reserved.
Maybe get to a meeting early and introducing yourself to a few people. Shake their hands.
Also, share in the meeting if you can. Mention that you want to hang out with the winners.
Hi:) I can identify very much with what youre feeling. I also very much agree with what justadrunk said. It can be extremely awkward to 'break into' a new social group. Speaking only for myself, I had to realize that not only did I have ( still do to a large degree) my 'walls' of defense up at meetings, but I also have a social awkwardness and unease that I didn't fully realize until I stopped drinking. This is not unusual or unique. Also, somebody else pointed out that us newcomers aren't necessarily overlooked, but friends get to talking- and we are out the door before they realize. Thats honestly not something I take into consideration when I'm feeling all left out... And running out the door haha. It's not personal. Keep going to meetings and opportunities to connect with others will present themselves. I know for myself, I have to work hard to be open to these opportunities. It can be disheartening, but you're doing great on 3 1/2 months!! Congrats:)
Welcome to the MIP site! Like it was said maybe try some other meetings. If you have a sponsor, part of their job is to help you get connected. Join a homegroup, get active and get to the meetings early. AA's usually take special interest in active HG members.
I felt a little bit the same way when I moved to ATL from Ohio w/ 16 years sober. I ended up getting to know the new people better since they seemed to have more time to talk after the meetings. Most of my best friend here now have about 8-12 yrs sober.
I think I was supposed to be talking to the new people:)
Hang in there...
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Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
Welcome to MIP ... there are some great responses here to your first post ... as Robin said, thank you for the reminder for us to reach out to the newbies that show up in our group meetings ...
Love Ya and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Hi TeeTee...welcome to the board! Hey, would you like to come have coffee or ice cream with me? It might be a bit of a drive but we'd have fun! Thank you for the reminder that I need to remember to reach out to the newbies in my group. Sometimes we just get into our friends and we're yakking away and forget to grab the newbie and by the time we realize what's going on the newbie has rushed out the door! Try going up to a group and just stand there...or say I like what you had to say or something. It takes practice and there is no time like the present to start! Good luck and keep comin back!
Thanks very much everyone.... I apprichate it. Trying to stay strong and staying sober...Been struggling alot :( which is why i need as much support as i can get.
where you from