because the consequence of that, for me, kills the lessons Ii should be learning.
Aloha MIP family. Had a wonderful Sunday morning version meeting of AA at the Bay. We have a Saturday and Sunday version. Yesterday's group was beyond spiritual imagination nicely salted by the shares of new-comers who are being soberly affected by what they are getting from the program. Our Saturday and Sunday versions are called "different" and I feel that is because the sharing goes beyond just drunk-a-louges and mostly into the "what we found out and what it is like now". They are highly spiritual and that doesn't mean religious as in "churchy" on most levels. We do share about our personal relationships and the outcomes of those with who ever our Higher Power is. I loved yesterdays meeting because listening to a new-comer "get it" reminds me of the basics of recovery. This mornings meeting was more centered around the behaviour of trusting...the program, sponsorship, ESH, Higher Power and each other. Some "get it" faster than others as they get their selves...egos and pride out of the way and others take much longer (Jerry F admitting to this) as they take littler steps, bigger risks and just close my eyes and ask..."please lead me, I'm afraid and you could be wrong about that just because I think so." I was the "but" man and using buts often kept me in place until one day my God designed and created sponsor suggested that in place of the "buts" I use "ands" which allowed for benefit of my doubts that the program would work for me. When I started employing "ands" instead of the "buts" I gave myself the margin of error in awareness that maybe both perspectives were right or valuable to me...at the same time and I could have more options to the solution regarding my alcoholism.
It worked!! so..... I don't do "buts" anymore. Thanks for letting me share.
Ahhhh, yes! I was caught in the "either or" syndrome, sometimes still am, and 'retrained' my thinking into "both and". I'm constantly working on irradicating dualist thinking. If I ever get there, you'll know, because the angels will break out in chorus. I love love newcomers, their perspectives, and remembering being there. Such a joy to watch when their eyes light up, yeah? You can see the wheels clicking. I am SUCH a mother.
Great post:) yes, I am learning that 'but' is a very small and potentially dangerous word. I have similar conversations with my sponser, where 'yes, you're probably right BUT...x,y, or z...". She's very patient haha and usually let's me rant on about the 'but' until I defiantly say "FINE! I'll just do it!".. It's pretty funny, actually. I'm not arguing with her, of course, just my own old, comfortable ideas. So now, whenever I'm feeling a 'BUT...' coming on, I think or say "Col, just do it." Not always comfortable or easy, but an opportunity to grow, for sure.
What a great share, Jerry. The expression "yeah, but" never worked for me either. Spirituality on the other hand does. It reminds me who's in charge, and why. Thanks for reminding me of that. Keep that momentum going.
