I would like to know what alcohol means to you? This is for a paper I have to write. I would greatly appreciate if the great people of this board could help me out. Thank-you in advance.
Jeannie
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You only live once; but if you work it right, once is enough. There is nothing better than the encouragement of a good friend.
hmmm-The simplest answer..I can give to this one Jeannie is..
Every time I pick up a drink...I cant stop at one..
I break out in spots...
Vancouver...Florida...Places where...I hafta ask directions to get home...the next day...or the next week..
Also...the fact..that every time, I pick up a drink..I fall in love a lot. I have a habit of getting married...getting divorced..or winding up in jail..
In conclusion...when I drink...Im a Jeckyle and Hyde....and cannot predict what my actions will be...
When theres a full moon...I still hafta tie myself up... with chains..to a tree...must be the isms.:)
Have a nice day...
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Easy Does it..Keep It Simple..Let Go and Let God..
Before recovery, alcohol was the great equalizer for me.. I used it to numb whatever emotion I didn't want to deal with. I am very introverted, so I would drink before parties so that I could talk to people. I felt that I had found the one thing that made me feel "normal". I also drank so I could confront situations I didn't want to deal with. If I needed to sit down with my husband and talk about something, a few drinks would first give me the courage? ability? nerve to sit and confront the argument. The first drink I had I knew I had found the one elusive thing that made me like other people...it gave me confidence I never had, it was always there when I needed it. Drinking always took the edge off of the hell I felt I was living.
After recovery, alcohol is poison...for me. I know that I cannot drink, but nor do I want to. I found that by working the steps, living in recovery, has given me all that I was looking for before. Knowing that a higher power is consistently and lovingly directing my life has given me the freedom to be the person I want to be. Not only do I not want to drink, I don't have to anymore either. That is truly the "freedom from bondage" that I was seeking.
What does Alcohol mean to me. Good Question! Alcohol is something that other people drink and it seems that they drink more at this time of year, but I really don't know that, I do know that when I drank Alcohol around Christmas, the Celebration started right after Holloween.
Today, Alcohol is something that is sold in a lot of places, bottles that have a mark of a skull and crossbones on each and everyone, at least that is how I see them today, a road to the undertaker.
That might sound morbid, but I think of Alcohol as Morbid. It was a constant thing, I love the saying that Alcoholics are a whole bunch of people that cannot NOT drink. But, by the Grace of God we have had a Spiritual Conversion, and Today, Just for Today, we do not drink, One day at a time.
Before or after recovery? Before recovery alcohol was fun when I drank it,but there where times when I got drunk and got hurt though. Alcohol ment good times,relaxation, and sleep. It turned on me though and I had the worst hangovers with only a few beers. If I did drink alot the hangovers would last for days. Alcohol then ment headaches,paranoid feelings,abusivness because I was so grumpy I'd yell all the time if anyone made noise. It ment drinking when I did not really want to. It ment feeling guilty knowing I was drinking too much and when I was not suppost to (like during the pregancies and being on medication). It ment I was harming my liver and brain. I was slurring my words even when I was not drinking and my tolerance level went way down because my liver was going.
Alcohol means death to me today. Perhaps not if I pick up a drink physically,but my spirit would die because I'v invested so much in the program of AA and it has invested in me. I would lose a relationship that has come to mean the world to me. Alcohol does not mean much anymore except something I use to do and not proud of it either.
I drank from 12 years old, had a 6 year break,then out for a while til I was 40. Most of my life I drank. it's like a curve, it's OK when you first start,then it's really great,then it's turns bad.
I do miss the good times I had while drinking,but the bad times out lasted the good,so here I am. I am happy though to be sober. I don't do it well at times, but I with the help of others and a higher power can do it one day at a time.
Before sobriety, alcohol was my best friend, my lover, the only thing I could always count on to be there. Now, it would be a self inflicted death sentence.........Doll
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* We eventually realize that just as the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. *
Drinking alcohol was a fairytale, fantasy world that turned into a nightmare for me. Alcohol itself is not bad, it's only deadly in the hands of an alcoholic.
Alcohol to me... a connossieur of fine wines... and Manischewitz too. I know some people will drink anything with alcohol in it,, like mouthwash if they get desperate, but as a teen,, well, now, come to think of it I remember dipping into the whiskey,, but.. that was ummm.. I experimented with all kinds of booze,, there was always plenty in my parents house. When I went on my own I could buy what I wanted.. not hard stuff that just made me sleepy without a buzz,, or beer that was good till it made me dizzy and nauseated,,, but wine. I would buy this kind and that kind, and brandy and vermouth. I could drink more and control the level of alcohol better to get that nice warm glow and have it last longer. To get high and stay high without getting puking drunk. I remember sweet tastes, never mind dry wine, and that first warm flush and that would turn into a giddiness, wonderful giddiness and this is what I wanted. Well, but to play the tape all the way through,,, then often came past giddy a bit too much and into umm well, maudlin and foolish. I didn't think it was foolish, singing off key 'Good Time Charlie's Got the Blues', but my friends didn't seem to enjoy it as much as I did. Yep,,, there went my inhibitions,,, who wants inhibitions anyway? and then, uh oh,,, the boomerang thing. I have to sober up now,,, but I can't. come on , body, get with it,, I have to get up now,, have to go to work,, have to cope with something that happened.. bummer... ohhh,, trying to sober up while it is still in my system is giving me a headache. ugh. Where are those remedies? crashing. boy,, I'm not going to drink that much again. I just want enough to feel better.
That's how it was. Now I found natural ways to accomplish what I wanted to accomplish,,,, and supernatural ways in my Higher Power - real joy, and peace, without regrets. My friends like it better too. This 'high' heals brain cells instead of killing them, helps me cope instead of making me goofy. It's not always easy, but the results are much better. I am gratefully recovering and am very glad to have come into the 12 Step program and this journey, and have come off the one that was headed towards death and destruction.
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
