Before recovery, I had a lot of plans. I was going to do this and accomplish that, and when things didn't work out I'd use alcohol to fuel my self-will and strengthen my determination. It was during these drinking sessions that I made lists of things I was going to accomplish - tomorrow. In the end, when I got sober, I had a lot of lists but I hadn't accomplished much.
When I entered the program, I told my sponsor all the things I was going to accomplish now that I was sober. I pulled out my lists and proudly told him that finally I was going to get this and achieve that. He asked me if that was all I wanted, and, after I said yes, he told me to write it all down and give it to him. After I did, he said that we would review it all after I got more time...
Years later, my sponsor pulled out that list and we went over it. All the things I was sure I needed to be happy - the Malibu home on the beach, the academy award winning screen play, etc. - had not materialized, but as we sat and talked, I realized I had received a lot more. I was comfortable in my own skin, and I knew peace and even serenity at times. I realized that I was finally happy and that my life had meaning.
And that's when I finally understood the saying, "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans."
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
They told me to tell them my plans, they needed a laugh. My first sponsor told me if i had a good idea to call him, and if I had a great idea i should come and see him. And I did actualy. and he usualy laughed or asked me how that was working for me. But I think the best I ever heard was the.....one more drug deal to set me up for sobriety plan. Wasnt mine, just someone comming back into AA from jail on a court card, go figure.
-- Edited by billyjack on Monday 19th of November 2012 11:29:04 PM
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Since it cost a lot to win, and even more to loose, you and me gotta spend some time just wondering what to choose.
