Obviously, the dilemma of the wanderer from faith is that of profound confusion. He thinks himself lost to the comfort of any conviction at all. He cannot attain in even a small degree the assurance of the believer, the agnostic, or the atheist. He is the bewildered one.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 28
The concept of God was one that I struggled with during my early years of sobriety. The images that came to me, conjured from my past, were heavy with fear, rejection and condemnation. Then I heard my friend Ed's image of a Higher Power: As a boy he had been allowed a litter of puppies, providedthat he assume responsibility for their care. Each morning he would find the unavoidable "byproducts"of the puppies on the kitchen floor. Despite frustration, Ed said he couldn't get angry because"that's the nature of puppies." Ed felt that God viewed our defects and shortcomings with a similar understanding and warmth. I've often found solace from my personal confusion in Ed's calming concept of God.
For the past few weeks we have been asking ourselves some searching questions. We have not been able to answer them all, as we would like. But the right answers to these questions will depend on the usefulness and effectiveness of our lives and to some extent the usefulness and effectiveness of the whole A.A. movement. It all boils down to this: I owe a deep debt to A.A. and to the grace of God. Am I going to do all I can to repay that debt? Let us search our souls, make our decisions and act accordingly. Any real success we have in life will depend on that. Now is the time to put our conclusions into effect. What am I going to do about it?
Meditation for the Day
"Our Lord and our God, be it done unto us according to Thy will." Simple acceptance of God's will in whatever happens is the key to abundant living. We must continue to pray. "Not my will but Thy will be done." It may not turn out the way you want it to, but it will be the best way in the long run, because it is God's way. If you decide to accept whatever happens as God's will for yourself, whatever it may be, your burdens will be lighter. Try to see in all things some fulfillment of the Divine Intent.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may see the working out of God's will in my life. I pray that I may be content with whatever He wills for me.
