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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> when life happens
Post Info TOPIC: when life happens
Mr_David


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when life happens
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Hey David,

Welcome to M.I.P. I like what Roger said already: "When life happens, just let it happen". It does make perfect sense, especially from a recovery standpoint. I mean, who are we anyway that we could somehow re-write the God script. If it was designed that way to begin with, than it's our privilege to see that through. All we really need is some helpful folks who can travel alongside us. That and some really good ice cream.

If you really think about it, though; our lives and those challenges you just mentioned kind of go hand in hand. They're both instruments of fate, or so I believe. Maybe they're just coincidental, that's all. We do have the privilege of a wonderful support network, coincidence or not. I call them 'faith builders or in some cases A.A. mystics'. They provide us with some much needed relief, especially when it comes to 'burden suppression'. And do so without us actually realizing it, instead of just compounding our fears exponentially. A.A. just happens to be one of those instruments also. The 'steps' can enlighten our path ahead rather than facing those obstacles alone. That part should always be a given. I just hope others realize that before they give up on AA, entirely.

Take my journey for example; I was a loner up to the age of 30. I lived primarily on ego and self determination from day one. That was until the bottom fell out, literally -alcohol, of course, being the primary reason. I never saw it coming even for the life of me, but it happened nonetheless. I had two choices after that; give up hope or keep trucking along. I've been trucking along every day since, thanks to my ongoing support network. It was my first rational response in a very, very long time.  

Since then, it has only gotten better. So "when life gives you lemons, make some lemonade". It's my pun on sobriety in case you're wondering. That's how I 'lighten the load' so to say. If I continue to work hard, improve upon my spiritual conditioning and never second guess 'what comes next', maybe then I can overcome the next obstacle without any lasting effects. Of course, it's still a big maybe. I shouldn't wrestle with that silly notion about the 'next shoe falling' like I once did, but focus instead on a solid based spiritual solution. It may just be my lifeline after all.

 Let's face it, David: Life will always throw us some curveballs whether we like it or not. It's how we respond to them that really matters. When I look around the world and see all that negative energy going nowhere, I always wondered if that could be me. Well, it was. The thing is; it can happen again if I'm not careful. So off I go to meetings, and again more meetings. It's a "breath of fresh air" even in the midst of some trying circumstances. I just hope it remains that way for you.

Welcome again to M.I.P.   



-- Edited by Mr_David on Saturday 20th of October 2012 04:01:30 AM

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Mr.David
davidg0405


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i've found it difficult to become accustomed to dealing with life situations since i've become sober, it's been 2 1/2 years and things hit me and i feel like a child sometimes cuz i don't know how to handle it properly, i hate that i am still defensive and turn things around, unlike when i drank i don't run and hide and numb myself, hopin for some tips on how to learn to deal in stressful situations, i am new to this site, i do hit meetings and get things off my chest however i was hoping for something that could provide feedback from those who have walked before me...thanks



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big gulp dave
Pythonpappy


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Hey, Welcome Dave ... ... ...

'When life happens' ... ? ... Let it happen ... No matter what happens to me today, I have learned to deal with it, thanks to the AA way of life ...
If anything happens today that I didn't like or didn't expect, I have learned to refuse to let my mind take off and make me miserable ... I have
learned, through this program, to 'accept' it and move forward rather than allow my mind to sit and wallow in the mire that can come about by
obsessing over something beyond my control ... The 'Serenity Prayer' was crucial for me the 1st year, and still is today years later ...

Two weeks before my 1st sober birthday, my youngest son was in an accident and became quadriplegic ... the years following were the hardest
of my entire life ... many, many times I just wanted to crawl in my hole again and drink myself into non-reality ... but thanks to God and this program
I didn't have to do that ... AA made it possible for me to be around and be helpful in my son's new life, which I'd have gladly traded mine for if possible ...

When I was drinking, I became incapable of having any love or any other human emotion that would allow me to help my own family ... I always
turned into a zombie ... So today, there is nothing so bad that a drink or a drug won't make worse for me ... If I allow, my mind could 'stress' me out
quickly and drinking again might start looking good ... It's my 'THINKING' I had to change ... it's that 'total psychic change' referred to in the
'Doctor's Opinion' at the front of the BB that I had to experience before the 'peace of mind and serenity' I so longed for would come ...

So ... whatever's going on in your life today is simply just life ... if you're stressing over something, then change your thinking ... don't force yourself
into depression ... if you're stressed out, you're doing it to yourself ... so, stop it, enjoy life for a change ... learn to enjoy the challenges ... Some
people in your shoes never made it ... and they'll never have another chance ... be grateful you're still here and can still make a difference ...

Love ya man and God Bless,
Pappy



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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
davidg0405


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Man!! Thank you so much for your reply, I'm gonna hold on to that!!

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big gulp dave
mikef


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RE: when life happensJ
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Hey David! Welcome

I found for myself that even though I had surrendered and became abstinent a long time ago, after decades of devastation,my real recovery happened when I went through the STEPS with a sponsor and learned to apply the application into all areas of my life.I have been free from active addiction for a very long period but I still find if I slack off my daily program of applying spiritual principles and get back into that overwhelming area of SELF-CENTEREDNESS,the core of our illness,(easy for this hardhead)I find myself faltering in many different areas,Fortunately because I know how to get back and "stay' in the solution the periods of discourse are not long lasting.WE are human,Life On lIFE'S terms will continue to show up,We may not be able to control the situations but WE CAN control how we let them affect us. For me,also paramount to my recovery is a daily effort to improve that  conscious contact with my Higher Power and letting my will be turned over to the CARE  of the God of my understanding.WE will stumble and fall but we  don't use and as long as we don't pick up,we won't get High(on substances)Our illness takes work from the inside,how we learn to change our attitudes and behaviors.If we get complacent with our process it is easy to fall back into old habits.Our recovery is based on our fit spiritual condition and our application of those spiritual principles.Sharing the pain is how we lessen our pain but our change comes from within.I can only suggest our program offers a set of  simple spiritual principles for complicated people.We DO NOT HAVE A CURE FOR ADDICTION,ONLY OFFER A PLAN FOR DAILY RECOVERY.Join us,get a sponsor if you don't have one and "get into our solution...Thanks for sharing and helping me in my process Just For Today!smile



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Pythonpappy


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RE: when life happens
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Hey Dave, ... ... ...

That's why we're here ... to help each other ... it's the core reason AA works ... glad I said something you could use ...

Hang in there man ... it's a day to day thing, you know that ... don't worry about tomorrow, it'll take care of itself ...
worry and stress never did a damn thing to fix a problem ... acceptance, and making the next right decision or taking
the next right action is the only thing that works ... be grateful for what you have and who you are, 'cause there are
many who have it much worse than we do ... you know I'm not making this up, it's a fact ...

Take Care,
Pappy



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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Rob84


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Hi Dave,

Welcome to the board. A lot of good things said, I don't know if I can add much. I just know that with every every rough situation that we make it though without a drink, we have the opportunity to grow.

I love this quote:

"It's not what happens to the man, but what the man does when it happens"



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"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
Mr_David


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Rob84 wrote:

Hi Dave,

Welcome to the board. A lot of good things said, I don't know if I can add much. I just know that with every every rough situation that we make it though without a drink, we have the opportunity to grow.

I love this quote:

"It's not what happens to the man, but what the man does when it happens"

           Great quote Rob. Mind if I borrow it?



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Mr.David
StPeteDean


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Hi David and welcome to the board. Most alcoholics have some codependency issues to one extent or another. Mine were a serious impediment to staying sober. Fortunately the AA club, where I attended meetings, also had Codependents Anonymous meetings. Here's a link to Coda's website, and we do have a board here. Check it out. Of course the Coda program is not a substitute for AA, and the recovering person should be working the steps with a sponsor and progressing in their AA program before working another.

http://www.coda.org/tools4recovery/patterns-new.htm

http://coda.activeboard.com/



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 Gratitude = Happiness!





Rob84


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Mr_David wrote:

Rob84 wrote:

Hi Dave,

Welcome to the board. A lot of good things said, I don't know if I can add much. I just know that with every every rough situation that we make it though without a drink, we have the opportunity to grow.

I love this quote:

"It's not what happens to the man, but what the man does when it happens"

           Great quote Rob. Mind if I borrow it?

Sure David, as long as you give me credit for it.....I don't want to get too carried away with this anonymity stuff :))

-- Edited by Rob84 on Saturday 20th of October 2012 04:00:15 PM

-- Edited by Rob84 on Saturday 20th of October 2012 04:01:07 PM

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Rob

"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
Pythonpappy


MIP Old Timer

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Rob84 wrote:
Mr_David wrote:

 

           Great quote Rob. Mind if I borrow it?

 

Sure David, as long as you give me credit for it.....I don't want to get too carried away with this anonymity stuff :))

 

 

Very funny Rob ... ... ... looked like you wanted to change your mind about anonymity when we met and you saw I had iron on my hip ... I got the feeling you wanted to be very anonymous then ... LOL ... sorry, I couldn't hep it ... (you rarely give me a lead that I can run with ...)

 

Love Ya Brother,

Pappy

 



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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Mr_David


MIP Old Timer

Status: Offline
Posts: 3412
Date:
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Rob84 wrote:
Mr_David wrote:

 

Rob84 wrote:

Hi Dave,

Welcome to the board. A lot of good things said, I don't know if I can add much. I just know that with every every rough situation that we make it though without a drink, we have the opportunity to grow.

I love this quote:

"It's not what happens to the man, but what the man does when it happens"

           Great quote Rob. Mind if I borrow it?

 

Sure David, as long as you give me credit for it.....I don't want to get too carried away with this anonymity stuff :))

-- Edited by Rob84 on Saturday 20th of October 2012 04:00:15 PM

-- Edited by Rob84 on Saturday 20th of October 2012 04:01:07 PM

 I hear you Rob. I'll use it in my next book, credit to you of course. Rob 84 that is.



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