Alcoholics.......Anonymous?

Rob84 · MIP Old Timer

Alcoholics.......Anonymous?

Mr_David · MIP Old Timer

How does anonymity relate to me? Well, it does on many fronts and not just in recovery. First of all, it helps to safeguard our sober identities -as a precautionary measure. The last thing we need is an alcoholic who loves to spread rumors.

Why would anyone announce their direct involvement in recovery programs anyway, including Alcoholics Anonymous? That's something I'd never choose to do. So others should respect my privacy as well.

That's why anonymity is so crucial. My information should always remain private just like my participation in A.A. Thats how we protect our culture. The rest is self explanatory.

-- Edited by Mr_David on Thursday 11th of October 2012 02:27:51 AM

Closer · Senior Member

I keep a lot of AA stuff quiet. My family knows but I dont tell everything... I thought anonymity at the level of press radio and films was something were all suppose to abide by??

LinBabaAgo-go · Senior Member

If this Program is based on spiritual principles, and meetings are spiritual entities, and the answer to alcoholism is a spiritual awakening, and anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our principles, then anonymity is the bedrock upon which our Program and our own personal recovery is based, the foundation as it were. It was explained to me that anonymity wasn't about hiding who you were per se, it was about not trying to get credit for who you were, or your actions, just doing the next right thing and letting go of the results. This started as being a member of AA then branched out to all aspects of our lives, as we "practice these principles in all our affairs", Ultimately Anonymity means humility, and while I won't call it sacrifice, I'd call it altruism, because what we are being asked to sacrifice is Ego.

Anonymity started out as one thing in this Program but turned into meaning something completely different. As Bill wrote:

THE spiritual substance of anonymity is sacrifice. Because A.A.'s Twelve Traditions repeatedly ask us to give up personal desires for the common good, we realize that the sacrificial spirit--well symbolized by anonymity--is the foundation of them all.

These experiences taught us that anonymity is real humility at work. It is an all-pervading spiritual quality which today keynotes A.A. life everywhere. Moved by the spirit of anonymity, we try to give up our natural desires for personal distinction as A.A. members both among fellow alcoholics and before the general public. As we lay aside these very human aspirations, we believe that each of us takes part in the weaving of a protective mantle which covers our whole Society and under which we may grow and work in unity.

We are sure that humility, expressed by anonymity, is the greatest safeguard that Alcoholics Anonymous can ever have.

-- Edited by LinBabaAgo-go on Thursday 11th of October 2012 08:09:39 AM

justadrunk · MIP Old Timer

I'm going to try it.

The other day, i thought I was doing this really great thing by buying the people behind me an ice cream cone (at an ice cream shop). Then I told the guy - don't tell them who paid for it, just say "pass it on".

Later, I realized, I was totally self centered here. I controlled what they got to buy... what if they wanted a shake? I also told the guy at the counter what to say to the, which was also an order from me... telling them what I thought they should do.

Also - the counter guy pointed to me when they asked who bought it later, I was still in the shop - and they looked at me, but didn't say thank you as they left - and then I felt disappointed. It was ALLLLLLLLLLLLL about MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!~

And even if I had done it right... and just paid and left somehow... I would still feel this overwhelming wooooosh, I know, cuz sometimes I do get things right, but it's all about this great feeling I get. Is that still self centered then? Even when they never find out? It's all about how I want to feel about myself, and not how they feel?

-- Edited by justadrunk on Thursday 11th of October 2012 10:10:09 AM

justadrunk · MIP Old Timer

Nice - love it. It's the hardest part of the program for me - and of course, the most rewarding. Then I wonder, how much of this is about how good it makes ME feel to do the right thing, let go of the results, and feel that woooooooooooooosh of awesome. Is that okay to strive for? Am I still being selfish and self centered after all? It's confusing. I don't get it yet. That's why I'm here I guess.

LinBabaAgo-go · Senior Member

The spirit of anonymity was taught to me as follows:

Do something nice for somebody every day for a month, and if -anyone- finds out, it doesn't count

That exercise hurt like no other, it was bizarre and made me realize how self centered I really was and how ALL my actions were some form of manipulation or another, it was really bizarre, it hurt my mind.

mikef · MIP Old Timer

For me personal anonymity is different from program anonymity.In other words I can share about me but not about you.Its a debatable issue,but my foremost thoughts are: Anonymity is a reminder to keep our focus on our spiritual program of recovery and not on our members;it is important OUR MESSAGE is carried and not WHO carries it.For me personally There are many who knew me as an active addict and many now who know me in recovery.At a band session last week,lead singer came up to me and asked if "I WAS A FRIEND OF BILLS".He didnt know me from Adam. WE began the next part of our conversation with a hug and support for each other.He shared to his friends that he was active in the program,but he didnt share about my participation,it was his own personal anonymity he chose to divulge,not mine....For me..It is very similar to working for God and doing the things that are between you and that Higher Power,only God and I know some things I do to promote positive spiritual principles and that is most rewarding for me... smile great subject,I have been adamantly renounced in sitautions from those in a firmer rigidity than I...

Rob84 · MIP Old Timer

Wow, some really great thoughts on the topic from you all.

I think Lin touched on the humility and sacrifice of ego that come with anonymity. Athought we all get to know the life situations and stories of those in the rooms, when we step into a AA room the highest tile we can ever recieve is "Alcoholic", the same tltle we had when we took the first step. We are all on the same level whether we are a high level CEO or the guy living under the bridge.
It's amazing how the ego's get left at the door.

Rob84 · MIP Old Timer

Odat put a couple of sentences together in her "Motives in recovery" topic that really struck me and relate to anonymity and recovery for me:

This AA thing...this recovery thing...this God thing...it isn't about prestige or my status in AA or in life...it isn't about what others think of me...it isn't about money or romance...this is a journey through life where I eventually come to put my reliance on God and perform His work well in His world...my relationships with Him myself, and others is the deal here. But my motives must be right. I can't run around doing it so people and myself will think highly of me...I have to do it because I'm so in love with God that I want to be His worker.

But what about me?? What do I get?? Well I'll tell you what...the peace, God-esteem and the joy of living I've always wanted. Do i want it or not?

packrat · Newbie

ANONYMITY ................the Unpopulor Truth .....................................................................................................................it also means YOU DO NOT EVER REPEAT WHAT YOU HEAR ABOUT ANOTHER ALCOHOLIC ( IT MAY NOT BE TURE ) OR SEE AND OR BELIEVE ABOUT ANOTHER person in AA .and that includes anything in an AA meeting ....AND ANY AND ALL INFO ABOUT ALL SPONSEES (EVEN IF DEAD) ...there you go, thats isn't a populor thing to say but it is THE TRUTH .

-- Edited by packrat on Thursday 17th of January 2013 03:16:53 AM

Col · MIP Old Timer

This is a topic that I had experience with this week regarding a fellow member of AA. This particular person is a coworker who takes an unhealthy amount of interest in me. The 4th step prayer is my mantra when dealing with him. He's constantly fishing for information about me, and tells coworkers I must be drinking again because I choose to ignore him. A coworker was speaking of his habitual lies and happened to mention he spoke of driving to a particular AA meeting on a daily basis. I happen to know this is a lie. Everything in me told me to keep my mouth shut - my anger got the better of me and out comes " oh, the same meeting I go to everyday and have never seen him at?". Blew my own anonymity as well as gossiped in one sentence. I was so frustrated with this man that I let it violate a core principle of the program that I fully believe in. Not something I'm proud of, and has been bothering me since.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Sounds like a step 10 issue ... stuff happens ... but we have the tools to deal with that now ... don't beat yourself up too bad over this Col, just take it as a lesson learned so that it makes you stronger! ...

Rob84 · MIP Old Timer

Thanks Packrat, a really good reminder. "What is said here stays here".

My wife is in the program also, although we go to mostly different meetings.

My favorite moments are when she meets one of my sponcees and they soon realize that my wife doesn't know a damn thing about them.

I still make mistakes, it's human nature to want to talk about stuff and stories etc, so it's something we always need to work on.

"When I got busy, I got better"