Last Thursday I got really, really ridiculously physically ill. Ever since I was in high school I've known that when I'm about to throw up, I have a tendency to pass out (which I also now suspect is a vasovagal response) so, I was laying in bed after I had already thrown up at least a couple times, when I started to get the sinking feeling and got up to run to the bathroom, thinking I could beat it and not pass out. Well -- I came to with my mom asking me if she needed to call an ambulance because I was laying on the floor in the hallway with my head in the wall. I spent the rest of the day in bed with a trashcan so I wouldn't have to get up again. I called my friend from the program and let her know that I was pretty sick and she gave me a couple suggestions and prayed for me, like she had when I was sick (in a similar way) a few weeks ago.
Friday I was feeling better, though my head was still a little woozy but didn't really hurt (my tailbone sure did though.) I woke up to a call from one of the stores I had applied to, asking to schedule a job interview (Monday at 2:30). I wasn't expecting a call back at all so that was really something. I still slept most of the day even though my stomach was feeling a lot better. I didn't go to the meeting I usually go to, but I called the ladies and let them know that I wouldn't be there.
Saturday my dad and I drove to Kansas City to pick up my sister who was traveling from Memphis. (A pretty rough drive with my bruises!) Originally, my sister and I were supposed to be meeting up in KC for a preseason NHL game but, since the NHL is locked out, the game was cancelled. Rather than have her adjust her travel plans, my dad decided we'd drive out to get her. So we did, and once we got there we spent a little time at the hotel, went to a nice dinner (that I was only able to eat about half of) and caught up. I couldn't sleep at all that night at the hotel. My dad has been a snorer my whole life and I've learned the hard way that I can't sleep in a room with someone snoring, so I brought headphones and put a bunch of music on my phone to listen to. Unfortunately, since I hit my head on Thursday, the volume I had to turn the music up to to drown out the snoring gave me an awful headache.
On Sunday, my stomach ache was starting to come back so I barely ate anything at breakfast and slept a huge chunk of the drive home. By the time we finally got here I was feeling better (though not especially hungry) so we went out to dinner as a family. I didn't want to push my luck so I tried not to eat too much. I got to bed a somewhat decent hour so I could be well-rested for my interview on Monday.
Wellll, Monday started at about 3:30am when I woke up from a dead sleep like I did on Thursday (stomach pains but not necessarily nauseous). This time I took my pillow and my water bottle with me to the bathroom and slept on the bathroom floor for a couple hours. I was feeling a little better when I woke up so I grabbed the trashcan and came back to bed. I slept an hour or so and woke up feeling like death again, though how I managed not to throw up is beyond me. I had to wait until the store opened to call and ask if I could reschedule my interview. The manager understood and I was able to reschedule it for today (Tuesday) at the same time, thank goodness. The concussion-like headache finally showed up so I spent most of the day trying to sleep it off. I called the ladies just to check in with them even though being on the phone was really painful. I left a message for one of them and she called back and left a message while I was on the phone with the other, and she seemed annoyed that I had rescheduled my interview but didn't go to the doctor even though it seems like it would be in my best interest to do so.
Right now I'm feeling very conflicted. It's maddening to me that every time I get to a stable mental place, I get physically ill or injured to where I can't do anything anyway. I really, really need (and finally want) a job but now I don't know if I can physically do it, especially if I really do have a concussion. I know that a hospital couldn't turn me away if I went in just to see a doctor (to find out what the hell is making me so sick in the first place), but I'm hesitant to do this because I don't have insurance and I don't want to put myself further in the hole.
Do I still go on the interview? Do I go to the doctor? I guess all I can really do is turn it over to my HP, and maybe that's the point of all of this.
It wouldn't hurt to go to a walk in clinic with a sliding scale if you can find one. I suspect there is a combination of medical and psychological things contributing to what you are experiencing.
Yes, you need a job...Can you make it through the interview? It's just an interview. If you go and get the job, you can decide to take it or not later. If you don't go to the interview, you wont have that option. First things first. Just get to the interview AND try and find an affordable way of getting medical help.
This is probably what you would tell a friend right? You would want them to get a good job AND feel better. You can have both in all likelihood. Take the right action to best ensure good results. It might not always work that way but it's not life on life's terms if you shoot yourself in the foot by not doing the next right thing.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Mark has some good advice there. Wishing you all the best, Emy. :)
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I think there's an invisible principle of living...if we believe we're guided through every step of our lives, we are. Its a lovely sight, watching it work.
Thanks all for the well-wishes, and Mark thank you for the suggestions.
I went to the interview and I've got a second interview with the store manager tomorrow afternoon. :) And I started a search for a clinic here, if I get nauseous like that again or if my headache comes back I'll go.
