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Post Info TOPIC: Time for a funny


MIP Old Timer

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Time for a funny
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Not having a 'shot' at people who have been thru hell over divorce .

I have been there , Very painful . Even 35yrs later , she tries to give me hell.

Bless her Lord , "I Wish her Well"

 

"Best Divorce Letter EVER Written


Dear Wife, Im writing you this letter to tell you that Im leaving you forever.

Ive been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it.

These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today &

that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didnt even notice I had a new haircut,

had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.

You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps.

You dont tell me you love me anymore; you dont want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.

Either youre cheating on me or you dont love me anymore; whatever the case, Im gone.

Your EX-Husband

...


P.S. dont try to find me. Your Sister & I are moving away to West Australia together! Have a great life!

Dear Ex-Husband Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
Its true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what youve been.
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesnt work.
I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was You look just like a girl!
Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you cant say something nice, I didnt comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with My Sister,
because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the
$49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars,
I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone..
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted.
My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you wont get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
 
 
 
P.S. I dont know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope thats not a problem."
 
Rick

 



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Rick.

@ 37 I was too young & good looking to be an alkie.

still too young , still got th good looks. still n alkie.



MIP Old Timer

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ouch, that hits home on a few levels  no  



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MIP Old Timer

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LMAO ... ... ... Great one Zoom ZZ ... thanks, I needed that ...

P.S. I've been married 39 years to the same woman ... some of us never learn ... LOL ... (just kidding!)(Don't know how I could live without her!!!)



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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'



MIP Old Timer

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Thanks, Rick!  Funny and I can relate to some of the content.    biggrinbiggrinbiggrin



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MIP Old Timer

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I originally thought that "Rick", at the bottom, was the name of his x-wife lol


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MIP Old Timer

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Pythonpappy wrote:

LMAO ... ... ... Great one Zoom ZZ ... thanks, I needed that ...

P.S. I've been married 39 years to the same woman ... some of us never learn ... LOL ... (just kidding!)(Don't know how I could live without her!!!)


I'm so telling Pappy -not really. 39 years, though. Wow, that's awesome Pappy. I mean, it's unusual in this day and age. My wife, on the other hand, has but only one request: Never leave the toilet seat up. Now that's a women I could live with. Funny story Zoomtopz...



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Mr.David


MIP Old Timer

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Oh Mr David, ...

You hit on one of the things that bothered me for years ... the Toilet Seat ... LOL

The way I see it ... I think my wife should be appreciative for me having lifted the toilet seat to start with ... if I always put it back down, which I do, then she has no confirmation that I lifted it to start with ... so you see, I think she should be the one to put it down ... then she'll know I didn't pee all over it ... you know, sometimes it just gets away from you and you can't hep it ...

That's my opinion, and it oughta be yours ... LOL ... (it's old 'hillbilly' farmer logic ...)(actually, we just go out back and use a tree usually ... they don't have lids ...)



-- Edited by Pythonpappy on Saturday 6th of October 2012 09:09:49 AM

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MIP Old Timer

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hahahahahaha....good one.

Steve


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