Sponsor

Jaywolf · Member

Sponsor

justadrunk · MIP Old Timer

It was suggested to me, that I listen in the meetings for a while - find someone I feel I can identify with, and ask them to be my sponsor after the meeting. Simply: Hello - I'm Natasha, I liked what you had to say today, would be willing to sponsor me, or help me find a sponsor if you're unable to?

From that point - it's been my experience, that this person should treat you as an equal - not try and control you - but inspire you.

What was hard for me was to do things I thought were silly or even stupid. I had to see that my sponsor was in a better place than me... want that too, and be willing to take the suggestions given to get there... even against my best judgement... cuz hey - my best judgement told me to drink 3 bottles of wine while caring for my children. I'm off my rocker! It was best for me to surrender and get used to taking some direction from a sober person : ) I needed to be really honest with this person, so I could get some solid support.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Hey Jaywolf, ...

A sponsor is someone who has worked the 12 steps and is living the program, the AA 'way of life' ... someone who can help
guide you through the process ... someone who's had 'the desire to drink' lifted from them and is enjoying life sober ... someone
who's ready to give back to the program, the things they learned ...

My last time coming back to AA, I searched for the guy that looked happy to be sober ... it took me a couple of weeks to find such
a person ... He suggested I read and do certain things and spent time with me after meetings to discuss all the questions I had ...
he had me call him daily for a short while and then whenever I felt 'unstable' and the urge to drink was strong ... he was always
there for me, giving me encouragement AND making sure to correct me when I was wrong ... I consider him a 'life-long' friend now ...

It is 'suggested' you get a sponsor, it makes the journey much easier ... In fact we don't tell you what you have to do, we suggest
what you should do based on our own experiences ... trust me, we know what works AND what doesn't ...

So, go to a few meetings to get the feel for the program, then ask someone to sponsor you ... we call it 'temporary' sponsorship
cause let's face it, you don't want to be locked in to someone you later can't stand or just plain have nothing in common with ...
Typically, guys sponsor guys and gals sponsor gals (the reason should be obvious) ...

Good luck and we will keep you in our prayers ...

Pappy

justadrunk · MIP Old Timer

Yes - the things suggested are not at all silly or stupid - I just like to buck at anything... Good luck Jay!

Pappy - you did an excellent description here - thank you : )

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Glad you're back Tasha and glad you enjoyed your few days off ...

Closer · Senior Member

Hi, The Sponsor is not a must, but it can be a good thing. If you are not going to use a sponsor, get the 12 steps and 12 traditions book from a meeting along with a copy of the big book, or check them out online, they can explain how to do the steps better.

chicagoaa · Newbie

Usually if someone figures out you don't have a sponsor, he will jump to the chance of getting to sponsor you. If that's not happening in the meetings you go to, may want to find new ones ;).

But really it's a matter of just picking someone and asking them.

Ideally, I sponsor guides you through the 12 steps - gives you some book reading assignments - and answers any questions you may have.

P.S. If you're looking for a sponsor by msg/txt (not sure where you are) I'd be happy to do it! My last sponsees are all good in life now and don't need me much anymore, so I'd love to help someone like you that wants to move forward in the program :) (many on the board may also advise you to get a face to face sponsor in addition)

Rob84 · MIP Old Timer

Hi Jay,

Welcome to the forum. A lot of good things said about sponsorship.

Below is a link to the Q and A on sponsorship. hope this can help.

Rob

http://www.aa.org/catalog.cfm?origpage=161&product=17

Mr_David · MIP Old Timer

Rob84 wrote:
Hi Jay,

Welcome to the forum. A lot of good things said about sponsorship.
Below is a link to the Q and A on sponsorship. hope this can help.
Rob

http://www.aa.org/catalog.cfm?origpage=161&product=17

Great link Rob. I suggest you check it out, Jay. It can only help.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Welcome Chicagaa, ... Glad you found us ...

Pappy

chicagoaa · Newbie

Me Too :)!

Mike B. · MIP Old Timer

A Sponsor for me was someone who had what I wanted. As Pappy stated, they lived The AA Program and the peace and serenity in their life was enviable. I then asked how I could get what he had. He said follow me through The 12 Steps, then pass it on to others. Learn as much as you can from the wisdom of others. Stick around it gets better with time. He's also been there for me when I hit pot holes or speedbumps in the road, he shares his E, S & H in how to navigate around or through them. His solutions to problems or issues is always based on God and The 12 Steps. I'm now passing this on to others and things keep getting better. Thank God for a Sponsor. smile

Thanks Rob for posting the link to the Q & A. I seem to always forget that. smile

Fyne Spirit · MIP Old Timer

What Mike B said. A sponsor's main job is to show you how to have a spiritual experience through the 12 steps, and have the obsession to drink removed. The sponsor helps get you connected to God (the power greater than you that will solve all your problems). It follows then that the sponsor should have had this experience him/herself. The practice in the fellowship here is generally that the newcomer must find and approach the sponsor, but I feel the book tells us to carry the message to the still suffering alcoholic, to seek him out, so I keep an eye out for new faces and offer help if appropriate.

God bless