Yeah Colleen, I've been there myself many times. The last episode was about 17 years ago after my first stint in recovery. I went to speak at a discussion meeting for my then home group (SOS), only to walk out 60 minutes later into my favorite bar. I had planned it for some time, or so I thought. But then again who hasn't.

It wasn't just one thing that sent me over the edge, but a combination of many things over a period of some time. I guess I had lost that sober feeling after all. The thing was; it didn't last very long -the high or the stint. I guess A.A. had left an impression that only recovery could. That was then. Fast forward 11 years later and you'll find a completely different person today, and with the same hang-ups as well. The difference being, I'm sober today that's all. I guess that 'hiccup' was my way of coming clean.

So it doesn't surprise me one bit to hear others speak so candidly about their own alcoholism. When I hear others admit 'I don't feel like myself' I'm not surprised. We're alcoholics remember. We're haven't fully recovered yet, have we? So I guess we're still in transition then -going from one lesser degree to another. It's better that way anyway. I had to go through the pains of drinking myself before I found sobriety. And so will others. I guess the same can be said of sobriety also. I had to go through some heavy emotional stuff before I found serenity, as did others. It just doesn't have to be shared alone, that's all. It's a burden we all share together.

We do have sober advocates who can help, Colleen: People, who can be our eyes and ears when we need them the most. They're people also who can help us beyond recovery, like therapists and addiction counselors. I find their expertise valuable also. So I suggest you seek some friendly advice from both sides of the spectrum. It can only help us that much better.

Just don't trouble yourself over these matters any further, everything will turn out fine. I've bared my soul to many people including some high priced shrinks, and it did help me somewhat. But nothing could replace the misery better than a kind heart and endless spirit, courtesy of my sober network in A.A. So my suggestion is quite simple actually: Get back to the basics Colleen, that's how we stay sober. After all, it's how we achieved success in the first place, isn't it? The rest you'll figure out along the way, we know you will. Onward...

-- Edited by Mr_David on Wednesday 3rd of October 2012 09:23:05 PM

UM! YEAH LOL

And you read all about it probably! I've got it going on too. My life, my thoughts, my actions... everything is so drastically different, that it's exhilarating - yet - I know that's no excuse to NOT do the things that got me here.

I just returned home from hiking the northern parts of of WI - Copper Falls national park - WOW - it was so beautiful. Had lots of amazing moments with my husband, who went to his first alanon meeting earlier in the week. Just with that one meeting, he is thinking about things differently now too. It's incredible the turn our lives have taken.

With it comes responsibility to keeping at the work - and especially when it feels so good to just rest on those laurels. I spent four days camping and hiking with not only my family - but also my mother and father in law - and HOLY crap - there were some BIG big tests to my serenity. But, using the program, the steps, and talking to my husband - recovery talk - when there were no other outlets - no meetings up there, no phone reception - no computer service (I do all my readings online or on my phone) - just us - the trees - the wind - the beautiful fall leaves - and a whole lot of pitiful words - spewed continuously at us - to be grateful for - I had the program, I had the steps for each problem, for each moment that made me want to crawl behind the waterfalls and hide until everyone was gone. This program DOES WORK - but we have to do the work - in all our affairs. We can't escape our souls, no matter how far into the thick we get. We are always with us, so be good to yourself Col - do what you know works for you. You're an inspiration to me : ) Thanks for posting!

Maybe you're ready for more. Maybe your heart wants to work the 12 steps from step 1 through step 12.

I think it's totally normal  - Dangerous - but normal.  AA can feel like a chore after a while.  Sponsoring someone new can pick often rekindle the enthusiasm I've found.   Sometimes we need to remind ourselves, that allthough meetings work Great, they are not really mentioned specifically in the book as part of the program (well, at the very least the book says fellowship is not enough).    So a revisit to the steps might work!

 

Also, are you talking about Isolation or Solitude? Because alone time/quiet time (solitude) I think is actually important and should be encouraged.  It's good you're posting the topic on this board though!!  Because that is a sign of Not isolating.

Good thinking Rob... I never thought of the sponsor also needing us part like that - thanks