Congrats for over the 30 day mark, that's very significant ... Have you re-read your post? ... To me, your post said that
it's not working, then you said it's working ... how do you manage that? ...
Paul M wrote:
Well everyone, I'm so sorry for not posting any updates, NO, I didnt have any break downs and still sober, today is one month and one week in for me, kind of lost track and had to count my days again,lol! But that should be a good thing! Right?
Anyways, past two weeks have been, some what different, Im feeling like I should feel better, but not, I feel weak, sleepy all the time, just feel like crap, Im falling out of routine then I was at the beginning of me being sober, I have to get back on task! Well I didnt count on my main sewage pipe clogging up today and have to fix it this afternoon, not a fun job ahead of me, Lol! What luck!
Have you ever felt like now that your sober, things around you aint changing, and you think to yourself, Hmm! Whats the diffence weather or not I'm sober or Drinking, its still the same, I have to work on that, been fighting the F--it, I feel like kicking back a cold one, but I didnt, and proud of that, My will to stay sober is strong, even when things are'nt going my way and the people around me are driving me nuts!
Oh, I know, most of you will still say this, GO TO THE MEETINGS AND GET A Sponsor, No, I have not done that yet, and getting sick of getting looked down on because of it, called my guy I worked for thats in AA, and told him that I been sober for a month, he asked me If I went to a meeting yet, I said no, and guess what, he has never called me back for any jobs and is not reponding to my calls! I just dont get it! What ever! Its working for me, theres a old saying, if its working, why fix it, Its been a tough go, and thank God for what he has done for me so far every night, where you pray can be anywhere, can be at the end of your bed each night, God will hear you no matter what, or where you pray! I choose this method with my lord, and have not been hit by lightning as of yet!
Congrats to everyone here that is still sober, I try to read everone's post, and wish I can respond to everyone, but life is being so busy for me, so most of the time I cant, so keep God in your heart and keep up the good work! My prayer's are with everyone of you!
Paul
I agree with Tom that your concept and belief and relationship with God is key (ever consider God's answers to you are to be found in the AA meetings? ... and if you refuse to go, that your answers may go unheard?) ... but something is obviously missing ... I'd say the majority of the new people I see coming into the program are on a 'pink cloud' right about this time in their sobriety ... they are working the steps and going to meetings and getting involved by taking 'action' on their new convictions ... you're approach, although you're sober, hasn't solved some of the deeper problems that our way usually helps to deal with ... again, I applaud your efforts to work though this pretty much on your own ... but like Tom said, it doesn't usually work for most of us this way ... I, too, pray you succeed on your present path, but I agree with Tom again, that you know there's AA here waiting in the wings, to help you should you chose to give us a try ...
Love ya man and God Bless,
Pappy
-- Edited by Pythonpappy on Sunday 30th of September 2012 02:32:05 PM
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Well everyone, I'm so sorry for not posting any updates, NO, I didnt have any break downs and still sober, today is one month and one week in for me, kind of lost track and had to count my days again,lol! But that should be a good thing! Right?
Anyways, past two weeks have been, some what different, Im feeling like I should feel better, but not, I feel weak, sleepy all the time, just feel like crap, Im falling out of routine then I was at the beginning of me being sober, I have to get back on task! Well I didnt count on my main sewage pipe clogging up today and have to fix it this afternoon, not a fun job ahead of me, Lol! What luck!
Have you ever felt like now that your sober, things around you aint changing, and you think to yourself, Hmm! Whats the diffence weather or not I'm sober or Drinking, its still the same, I have to work on that, been fighting the F--it, I feel like kicking back a cold one, but I didnt, and proud of that, My will to stay sober is strong, even when things are'nt going my way and the people around me are driving me nuts!
Oh, I know, most of you will still say this, GO TO THE MEETINGS AND GET A Sponsor, No, I have not done that yet, and getting sick of getting looked down on because of it, called my guy I worked for thats in AA, and told him that I been sober for a month, he asked me If I went to a meeting yet, I said no, and guess what, he has never called me back for any jobs and is not reponding to my calls! I just dont get it! What ever! Its working for me, theres a old saying, if its working, why fix it, Its been a tough go, and thank God for what he has done for me so far every night, where you pray can be anywhere, can be at the end of your bed each night, God will hear you no matter what, or where you pray! I choose this method with my lord, and have not been hit by lightning as of yet!
Congrats to everyone here that is still sober, I try to read everone's post, and wish I can respond to everyone, but life is being so busy for me, so most of the time I cant, so keep God in your heart and keep up the good work! My prayer's are with everyone of you!
Hey Paul, I really hope it does work for you. It is ingrained in most of us that its not the most successful avenue based on our own individual experiences. I also know from experience that people do get locked in on how things should be. It sounds to me like you need to do this your own way, so while I pray that it works for you, I also pray that you keep an open mind to the way AA is structured, and if you can keep coming to the board for fellowship, you can at least get a feel for the conversation and knowledge you would miss. Of course I am leading up to the fact that if your way does not work, the full program is waiting in the wings. It sure sounds like you have a great relationship with your HP, and that is most important! Tom
__________________
"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
Congrats on month and a half of sobriety.Yes there are many roads to 'recovery' WE must all find our own.I can only tell you from my ESH that abstinence is totally different than recovery. There is a 'solution" to the inner workings of ourselves in our program called the STEPS applied in all areas of our lives.We learn to get to "the exact nature" of whats going on with us and we practice the solution daily..JUST DON'T USE and all options are open..You can't get high (on drugs,alcohol is a drug)if you don't pick up.Be careful of building resentments(maybe with your A.A. friend??)they can take us places we may not want to go.Keep coming back .let us know how you are doing....Have a blessed and productive(non-alcoholic)day..
__________________
Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Congrats for over the 30 day mark, that's very significant ... Have you re-read your post? ... To me, your post said that
it's not working, then you said it's working ... how do you manage that? ...
Paul M wrote:
Well everyone, I'm so sorry for not posting any updates, NO, I didnt have any break downs and still sober, today is one month and one week in for me, kind of lost track and had to count my days again,lol! But that should be a good thing! Right?
Anyways, past two weeks have been, some what different, Im feeling like I should feel better, but not, I feel weak, sleepy all the time, just feel like crap, Im falling out of routine then I was at the beginning of me being sober, I have to get back on task! Well I didnt count on my main sewage pipe clogging up today and have to fix it this afternoon, not a fun job ahead of me, Lol! What luck!
Have you ever felt like now that your sober, things around you aint changing, and you think to yourself, Hmm! Whats the diffence weather or not I'm sober or Drinking, its still the same, I have to work on that, been fighting the F--it, I feel like kicking back a cold one, but I didnt, and proud of that, My will to stay sober is strong, even when things are'nt going my way and the people around me are driving me nuts!
Oh, I know, most of you will still say this, GO TO THE MEETINGS AND GET A Sponsor, No, I have not done that yet, and getting sick of getting looked down on because of it, called my guy I worked for thats in AA, and told him that I been sober for a month, he asked me If I went to a meeting yet, I said no, and guess what, he has never called me back for any jobs and is not reponding to my calls! I just dont get it! What ever! Its working for me, theres a old saying, if its working, why fix it, Its been a tough go, and thank God for what he has done for me so far every night, where you pray can be anywhere, can be at the end of your bed each night, God will hear you no matter what, or where you pray! I choose this method with my lord, and have not been hit by lightning as of yet!
Congrats to everyone here that is still sober, I try to read everone's post, and wish I can respond to everyone, but life is being so busy for me, so most of the time I cant, so keep God in your heart and keep up the good work! My prayer's are with everyone of you!
Paul
I agree with Tom that your concept and belief and relationship with God is key (ever consider God's answers to you are to be found in the AA meetings? ... and if you refuse to go, that your answers may go unheard?) ... but something is obviously missing ... I'd say the majority of the new people I see coming into the program are on a 'pink cloud' right about this time in their sobriety ... they are working the steps and going to meetings and getting involved by taking 'action' on their new convictions ... you're approach, although you're sober, hasn't solved some of the deeper problems that our way usually helps to deal with ... again, I applaud your efforts to work though this pretty much on your own ... but like Tom said, it doesn't usually work for most of us this way ... I, too, pray you succeed on your present path, but I agree with Tom again, that you know there's AA here waiting in the wings, to help you should you chose to give us a try ...
Love ya man and God Bless,
Pappy
Guess I'm going nuts poppy, But I'm still making it work! Yes, I still have options if all fails on my own, just doing what God wants for me a the moment!
Congrats on your sober time, Paul. You seem to be on the right path, I do believe? So why change a good thing. I would focus instead on sobriety, at least for now. Anything else can only complicate things further.
I've been feeling a bit sluggish myself lately, same as you. I guess the colder weather does that to me. Summer went by so quickly this year, and now I'm bracing for a long cold winter. Ugh...
As far as people go, well, there still people, just sober that's all. I know, it does bother me too -the cold shoulder treatment I mean. You think people would at least act their age, but it's not always the case. I'm sorry that person didn't call you back, but it is A.A. you know and not a museum of perfect people. I would let this one slide.
I haven't been to many meetings myself lately -with all the extra workload and everything. I've been utilizing another recovery program instead as a stand-in for my normal A.A. routine, at least for now. It's called AVRT -or rational recovery for those who aren't familiar. It's seems to be working for me thus far. So I guess you're right in one regard: They're many sober platforms at our disposal today and not just one. A.A. will always be my go to program as it should be, but there are alternative platforms that work just as well. So don't be taken back by all the bickering, it's just Alcoholic pride that's all.
My suggestion: Continue on with your daily routine, at least for now. It seems to be working for you thus far, so why change your routine. You might want to consider other alternatives, however - if only by suggestion. It can't hurt us by any means. You're bound for a breakthrough, though; it's only a matter of time. So keep up the momentum, okay. It's what keeps us safe.
~God Bless~
-- Edited by Mr_David on Monday 1st of October 2012 02:22:50 AM
The only way I have stayed away from relapse during down times is by learning tons of coping skills and being connected to powers much greater than me (an entire recovery community) through meetings and fellowship. I can't just say "F--k it" and not go against years of meetings and program work and the way I have structured my life. Self-will is not how we stay sober. That will wear on you. Surrender is the key not thinking you can be stronger than addiction. Taking suggestions and letting go of that stubborn will is what changes your behavior, allows God to really work in your life, and gets the real recovery going.
Furthermore, if God helped you stay sober for this time, wouldnt' God want you to show others how to do it by showing up at meetings?
Paul, You are always going to hear that you should go to meetings at this site. It is an AA site. You are welcome to post here and learn all you can and of course we are all rooting for you, but we sit in meetings and hear "How it works" at every meeting. Never does it say to do this own your own, skip meetings, and tailor your own AA program. Me, pappy, and anyone else who has hit bottom and worked AA to save our lives knows this is how it is and that is the suggestion I will always give.
Your insistance on doing this "your way" is an ongoing symptom of alcoholism. We all have the same disease. If you want long term sobriety like we have, do what we did.
I also stayed dry for months at a time. I think 4 months was the longest I made it without AA. I was SOOOO resistant to the idea of meetings. That resistance kept me sick and put off my growing as a person for a very long time. When I relapsed from that dry period, I relapsed hard and finally admitted I couldn't do this on my own. Now I question...why would I want to do it on my own?
So here I am coming up on 4 years sober. Sometimes I feel like saying "F--k it" but I can't - I have been so involved in AA and it is such a way of life. I had a radical transformation on all levels. I have even shown the pictures of how it played on the outside but my insides changed even more. It was profound and it was a change that I could not have had on my own, without meetings, and by just going on the wagon.
This is all a good start for you. You clearly have what it takes to get sober. You have a relationship with your HP...You have some basic skills for staying away from the first drink and playing out the consequences. You have a leg up. If you hit AA now, your program will probably start to soar. Be of service to yourself and others and consider really joining AA. It's more than just not drinking.
Part of this is that I see you are one of us Paul and we are stronger united. I don't want you to have to "fight this" with just willpower when AA has so much more to offer. I want as full a recovery for you as possible. You deserve that.
__________________
Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
One more thing I observed here is the underling message that PC was sharing ...
To keep what we have in sobriety, we must give it away ... the AA way of life is the ONLY way it works for me ... Believe me, I tried everything else, just like PC ... and like him, I found that I could only keep what I had, by giving it away to others, and without meetings, that's damn near impossible ... just sayin' ...
You've been in my prayers and I hate to see you making it harder on yourself than you need to to stay sober ... Real Sobriety should not keep you in personal turmoil most of the time ... Together, we have worked past that ...
Great post PC!
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Hey Paul, no one here is looking down on you. I'm pretty impressed actually. I was able to put together a couple months on my own, in my early 20's, but I soon felt like I couldn't be alcoholic, since I was able to put it down for 10 weeks or so, started drinking again. As for the feeling odd and sluggish, it's probably post acute withdrawal. Remember your body chemistry is used to the up and downs of drinking and sleeping it off. Now you're shaking up the balance of chemicals and routines. Make a schedule of eating and sleeping at fairly consistent times. Like eat at 7am, 12noon, 7pm every day. Go to sleep at 10pm and wake up at 6 am. Drink lots of water and take some quality vitamins. Exercise 30 minutes a day. Think positive and stay away from negative people places, and things. Don't watch the news or drama on TV. Just turn it off. Listen to some laid back relaxing music, stay away from music with negative lyrics. If someone calls you and starts complaining hang up on them. Surround yourself with happy, positive, and succesful people. Look in the mirror every morning smile and say "I love you man"
-- Edited by StPeteDean on Tuesday 2nd of October 2012 07:28:43 PM
Congrats to you, Paul. My only thought on what you wrote is that if the only thing you change is to stop drinking, that is the only thing that will change. What appeals to me about AA is that it is a life changing program that has a solutions for the alcoholic. It covers way more than not just picking up a bottle. All the best to you. :)
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I think there's an invisible principle of living...if we believe we're guided through every step of our lives, we are. Its a lovely sight, watching it work.
Congrats on the time so far, Paul. I'm not going to lecture or harass you about what you're doing. Whatever it is you're doing you're doing it sober, and that's a good thing. Just keep us in mind - just in case. Y'know, don't let pride get in the way of asking for help if things get rough.
Other than that I would be happy to read a post from you ten years from now going: "Yup, still sober and feeling great. Told you lot I could do it on my own" Because you getting well is really the only thing that matters. :)
But I'm still making it work! Yes, I still have options if all fails on my own, just doing what God wants for me a the moment!