"You sound like a smart kid ... most of us are ... but alcohol turns us into something different ... if you're as smart as I think you are, then you'll seek help now while you have time to aviod the disasters we've been through ... there is a Hell in front of you that's begging you to come join in ... it's painted with all kinds of promises to make you happy, but don't go there if you know what's good for you ... there's a pain there that you cannot possibly imagine ... I know you said you like pain, but you ain't seen nothin' yet ... "
I just wanted to say thank you for writing this. I would have REALLY benefitted from reading something like this when I was younger and felt as though alcohol was something that I could control, or that would make my life better. I was particularly moved by the sentence "there is a Hell in front of you that's begging you to come join in..." because I distinctly remember being in that place, mentally, of being enchanted by the world of alcohol. It seemed surreal and romantic. It made nights more fun and playful. Suddenly, I could talk to beautiful people without inhibitions. Many of the musicians and authors that I loved were alcoholics and I equated their greatness with their alcohol abuse. I felt like if I drank as much as they did, I would some day be as insightful and great an artist as they were.
In the dream sequence, this is there we would all hear the sound of shattering glass.
I did become insightful, but at the expense of my sanity, my focus, many friends, lovers, my health, and my general well-being. It's amazing to me how much alcohol can promise while robbing you blind. And I wish that there was a way to make every young person hear and heed those warnings. Certainly, many people are capable of temperent alcohol use, but I think for those who are enchanted by its seeming magical qualities, they need people like Pappy to offer them a firm but loving warning that alcoholism is a lifelong, horrific descent in the darkness of our hearts and of the world. And in retrospect, while I appreciate art, I now hate the people who romanticize alcohol abuse in their work because it beckons young and ambitious people into their own pain. I bought it hook, line, and sinker. Without a cautious warning, that seems irresponsible.
Anyway, thanks again.
Respectfully,
Adam
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When every situation which life can offer is turned to the profit of spiritual growth, no situation can really be a bad one.-Paul Brunton
It's amazing to me how much alcohol can promise while robbing you blind...
I remember writing once in early recovery (not on this board) about how it took everything good from me, told me that it was always someone else's fault that I lost those good things, and then offered to comfort me in my sadness and grief at my losses. And I let it. Time and time and time again.
Finally it took my wife from me, and it was going to take my kids away, when the scales fell from my eyes. A moment of clarity, I believe it is called, and I wish I had it many, many years earlier, but that's not what happened. It's sad that so many people had to be hurt before I woke up to what it was doing, but if a younger version of me ever sees my example (or the example of many of us here) and seeks help before they have to walk many a mile in my shoes then maybe it is all worth it.
I agree Adam - warn your children - and those you can... but leave the rest to your HP - it is not your worry alone... nor something your HP would wish for you to be consumed with... you have a caring loving heart... so thanks for sharing it here : )
God - grant me the serenity - to accept the things I can not change - the courage to change the things I can - and the wisdom to know the difference... Tasha
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
