I got 45 days today but the obsession still lurks. My mind tells me I can enjoy a couple on friday night, all the kids are gone, it will be ok... but I know what will happen.... Serenity prayer time.
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God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Play the drunk (cause it is rarely, if ever, just a drink) the whole way through. Just remember how it was never "a couple." Keeping you in my prayers, Steve.
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I think there's an invisible principle of living...if we believe we're guided through every step of our lives, we are. Its a lovely sight, watching it work.
It's your disease talking to you. We all seem to have that voice in our heads. Funny thing how that voice lives in millions of us. Some of us say "f - you" go to a meeting, read our literature, help another alcoholic, go out for coffee with an AA friend, take inventory when we go to bed, do the next right thing, wake up sober and get to be grateful all over again... stuff like that...
Some of us listen to that diseased little voice on our shoulder, get convinced by that little tiny spineless puke of an existence - to give in and do what it wants - not what's going to let allow us to live a peaceful life...
It's a parasite of our mind so stupid... it will try to kill it's host.
You are not a parasite Steve. You're an awesome guy - with a brand new day before you. You get to work this program, and be the person you were always meant to be... if you don't listen to that ugly little voice all of us seem to have. You're not alone.
It's already been said, but I get to say it again - talk to your HP... you're never alone in this.
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
When you get drunk you fall on your face (literally - We have seen the pictures) and screw your life up. Pretty simple step 1. You are powerless over alcohol. Even in the moments you feel like saying "screw it" because you don't care about being powerless over alcohol at that moment, you should know it will make your life unmanageable by now and that part is enough to know you'll regret it later.
Serenity prayer is great - yes. Step 1 is great too. Keep working it.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Thanks for continuing to be open and honest with us. And congratulations on doing so well.
The only question I have is, are you attending AA meetings on a very regular basis? If so, awesome, keep it up. If not, an AA meeting or 2 usually takes away inaccurate thoughts.
Thanks everyone I feel much better today, and to answer the question I have been slacking on my meetings. Going to one tonight to get back in the groove. So glad I didnt cave in. Trying to be more honest on this site. Thanks again everyone for your words.
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God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Congrats on 45 days ... you just got yourself out of the deep pit, why contemplate jumping back in ??? ... You already know the climb out of the pit is tough, so why consider making your hole deeper ... Lots of good suggestions above, ... glad to see your going to a meeting tonight !!!
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
And know well that feeling -- just kick back with a couple, a couple won't hurt, nobody will know.
I could *never* play that drink through. It was *always* going to different this time. I'd think about the (rare) times that I could just have a couple. Hot stove and all.
For me, that shows why I need this program.
That's why my sponsor told me always to make *AA* my number one priority, no matter what.
WE don't get high if WE don't pick up! Get High on that Power greater than you, there is no better escalation of the physical,mental and and spiritual realm of our lives.Seek that guidance and continue sharing before you you take that step on the downbound train..Based on the evidence you know where that ride goes!!!
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
