Newcomer here.....scared

jojo67 · Newbie

Newcomer here.....scared

Frodo · MIP Old Timer

Hey Jojo.

A couple of things that might help:

1/ It's a one day at a time program. That is that all we worry about is being sober this 24 hours so unless the BBQ or Xmas party or whatever is on today then it's of no concern, and if they are... well there are plenty of tools in the program that can deal with that. I never thought it was possible for me either but it's not a big deal for me these days as long as I follow some simple rules.

2/ It's always a good idea to see a doctor before quitting. Some of the withdrawals can be nasty if not managed, but with a doctors help they can be managed quite easily.

3/ http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/ - have a read of this. Pretty much everything we can tell you will come from there. Understanding what it is that makes you tick is a big part of being able to something about your problem.

Welcome and please drop back in and let us know how things are going.

Closer · Senior Member

Hi, First of all I want to say good work and congratulations for taking the first step towards recovery. Your story sounds a lot like the way I was feeling when I was first trying to quit. I've found that I dont need to drink when I am at social gatherings involving booze, and noone has a problem with it -At first I was feeling the same way you did, scared because I was in a hard time in my life and I found it better to avoid these situations for a while until I got things resolved, but Ive found my closest people are supportive of me being clean and sober, and my urge to drink has since been removed after I began attending some meetings at my local AA group. I hope youll give a few meetings a try, they can really help if your ok with it, and if your feeling your drinking has become a problem I would get help as soon as possible, there are people at your local meetings who will understand your situation. I hope you find your way and have happy peaceful days ahead,

Closer.

-- Edited by Closer on Sunday 16th of September 2012 11:12:40 AM

Shane Shane shane · Newbie

When I was new a would sweat a lot, I still sweat but not as much. I didn't have my social lubricant, so being in mtgs around people was super uncomfortable to me. I new that I needed to be in alcoholics anonymous I became aware that I was an alcoholic and was thouroughly convinced god had a place for me here. I've learned so much over the years though at times I feel like I've really missed out on "doing life on lifes terms" which from one standpoint is super exciting and from another juvenile. I'm still afraid to do things, like right now I'm with my girlfriend at her families house out of town and my thoughts keep saying you don't have anything in common with them and don't have anything to talk to them about, they don't like you, and that my sister deserves better, your not the one for her. so anyway, I talked to the sponsor last night and Im ok akward moments but ok. Thanks for listening/reading.

-- Edited by Shane Shane shane on Sunday 16th of September 2012 12:02:18 PM

Isabell · Veteran Member

Glad you are here Jojo! When I live in today and don't drink just for the day I am in, my life gets better and better. When I think of places I'll be going, parties, etc. where alcohol will be served, it makes me not only worry about drinking there and then - it makes me want to drink here and now! Ouch! When I live only in the day I have, I am able to live without a drink. I hope you keep coming in and posting here, and find some face to face meetings soon. Face to face fellowship can divide the pain and muliply all the good times.

-- Edited by Isabell on Sunday 16th of September 2012 12:37:48 PM

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

Hello Jojo and welcome to the board. Try not to project into the future about these drinking functions (BBQs and such) as they are just that. Typically we avoid these situations for a year to get sober. Right now, someone in your position needs to just not drink the first drink, one day at a time. It's a series of 24 hour abstinences. Frodo's suggestion is what's next. Start reading the big book at the link she posted. As for meetings, their a piece of cake. Everyone is nervous about attending their first meeting. It's just a gathering of the kind of people that you liked to drink with, who have found a way to be happy without alcohol. The by products of sobriety are tremendous and endless. There is no greater reward than sobriety. Stay sober my friend.

pinkchip · MIP Old Timer

I used to wonder about that...Of course the bigger question when I came into AA, was "How will I function if I DON"T stop drinking." It was an illusion that drinking improved my functioning in ANY way to begin with.

At the X-mas party where people are drinking, camping, or at a bbq - I am constantly sipping on a diet coke. This way nobody offers me a drink because I have one. Furthermore, I go around talking to people, socializing, and I enjoy myself.

Granted - it took about 2 years to be in situations where there was a lot of alcohol...so for now, I'd suggest trying to avoid those events until you have a foundation for sobriety. Don't let crazy thoughts about "how will I function?" sway you from sobriety. I have found that over the long haul - my functioning in all situations is better without alcohol...without a doubt.

There were some things that were hard to do sober at first but only at first...

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Welcome to MIP JoJo, ... ... ...

These guys are right JoJo, ... we DO NOT live in the future nor the past ... we are living in 'today' ... the 'present' is all we have ... I only need concern myself about 'today' ... and today, I choose to not drink ...

Try getting to a meeting ... just google AA in your area for meeting times and places ... the big surprise you'll find is that we are all just like you, and there at the meeting, you will find lifelong friends if you keep coming back ... we live a beautiful new way of life, it can be yours too ... 'no charge' ...

Love ya and God Bless,
Pappy

stayhumble · Senior Member

The first step is admitting you need help, so welcome! Aldo like others have already mentioned, tomorrow is promised to no one. All we have is today and staying in the next 24 hours. WE do this together. You're not alone. The help is here.

mikef · MIP Old Timer

Welcome to MIP...Hope to see more of ya!!!The emotional and physical acceptance of utter defeat can lead you to that all important 1st step...When the pain outweighs the pleasure WE come to that fork in the road,, Only you can decide which road to take.....Putting down the poison was difficult but for me,so was not feeling "part of' any more,guys in band all used,always party's,campouts,celebrations,physical symptoms of detox,etc....How would I detach from all that ? After 25 years from a child of 12,The pain finally did outweigh any pleasure,something day by day I never forget, but something I also needed to take action about.....You'll want to go 'inside" and take a deep look.... smile

Zoomtopz · MIP Old Timer

Welcome JoJo.

As others have said "We Live One day at a time" yes , just One day at a time .

We don't give up th booze for th rest of our life , we Stay stopped Just for Today . Actually , if you

ask Your health care professional . Smoking is 5-6 times harder than alcohol to give up . Yes a lot of

us can stop , but most of us can't or won't Stay stopped . That's why we do 'those meetings' .

Where th I can't turns to "WE can" , there is a cliche' - "You alone have to do this,but you don't have to do it alone"

Keep coming back , I need You .

Rick

Mr_David · MIP Old Timer

Welcome Jojo. We're here to help.

Tanin · MIP Old Timer

jojo67 wrote:
I am just admitting that I drink too much on a regular basis. Not sure how to stop. I quit smoking....that was easy compared to this. Worst thing is I think about how I will function at BBQs where there is drinking.......Xmas parties where there is drinking. Camping where there is drinking...
I am going to counselling....I am not ready to do the meeting thing...I just need some anonymous support to get me started.

Welcome to the forum, jojo. I can tell you that as a newcomer, I was pretty uncertain about even the most basic of things, parties included. Hell, stopping drinking made alost everything in my world change. I had to relearn a lot of stuff.

As far as anonymous support, you will get a lot from this forum. Just keep showing up and sharing and we will support ya. You support us too, by the way, by being here.

Do what you think is right, such as counselling. I tried that when begginning recovery. It worked for me.

As far as meetings go, most AAers go to them. But not all do.

Some folks go to online meetings. Verrrry anonymous and no pressures, such as nervousness due to speaking in front of a bunch of people as in a face to face meeting. The following link is to a site that holds online meetings 5 times a day. You might consider trying a meeting there:

http://aaonline.net/

I'm glad you're addressing your drinking problem, jojo. That's what we all here did. You don't ever have to drink again.

-- Edited by Tanin on Monday 17th of September 2012 10:32:20 AM

justadrunk · MIP Old Timer

Hey Jojo - you are very brave to admit the things you did above. Very big step - keep checking in here - ask whatever questions you have - talk about whatever you need to - just keep coming back! I came here first (before going to meetings), and did kind of what you did, and everyone here was so helpful to me. There are a lot of people here with so much wisdom and so much kindness. People who have been sober almost as long as I've been alive. Truly inspiring and a great place to start reaching out for help. I had such a hard time asking for help, but I'm glad I did. I didn't think sobriety was possible... or that it could even be great... people will show you how if you keep coming back!

gonee · MIP Old Timer

Welcome.

tippytoes · Member

Welcome Jojo!! I'm an absolute newcomer too so I may not have the best advice, but wanted to say I think the fact that you are here admitting your drinking is a problem is a great beginning. :) Keep reading and posting here. It helps.

carlasober · Senior Member

Welcome, Keep Coming Back!