Hi all..I am new here and have 12 hours with out a drink...I will be attending my first AA meeting in the past five years tomorrow. Having kinda a hard day..Feeling depressed and over whelmed emotionally and mentally. But I know that it will get better.. Right now I just need to get through today.
Thanks for posting- It gets better, just get to that meeting as soon as you can!!
I can guess how you feel, my last relapse I kept telling myself, tomorrow, I'll go to a meeting tomorrow... and I almost died- I felt too sick to go to a meeting, but the next morning I wasn't too sick to drink... In any case I finally made it by going to a noon meeting and I have been sober since, it's been a month and a half... I was in horrible shape and sooo depressed, the suffering is hard to describe- But I am feeling much better, hope is returning- Got a sponsor, sticking with people in the rooms, starting the steps again, praying, etc- And I've gotten so much help already. There is a lot of love here, they will welcome you back-
Welcome Shannon , I'm glad you have found us, and hope you keep coming here. You will find a lot of experience, strength and hope here. Just for today you don't have to drink and AA is always there for us. I'm on my way to a meeting in just a few minutes.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can , and the wisdom to know the difference.
I'm Dan and I'm an alcoholic, and I sure can relate to that depression thing that you and Joel referred to.
I still am not sure exactly how or when the deadly downward spiral began, and if I could say I drank because I was depressed, or that I was depressed because I drank. I think it was actually some of both. Either way, after going only a short time without drinking, I would start feeling more and more depressed, and feeling almost desperate to drown the feeling with alcohol. Then, having the alcohol provide only provide temporary relief, and, at the same time, contributing to the depression.
yeah... sober isn't the same as recovery. We can be sober and not in recovery,, which results in miserable sober people. First things first is to stay sober,, but then we need to learn how to live and that is the recovery part.
I find that when I don't drink when I want to drink most of the time feelings come up that are unwanted and are the reason why I want to drink. So if I don't drink and those feelings come up... boy, that's when I have a hard time of it and really need to work my Steps.
We need to cope with things somehow, and I used to cope with these things by drinking to avoid them, or 'rise above them'. Okay,, so that coping method ended up not solving anything and actually making things worse,,, so,, now,,, bring on the Steps ! with the "easy does it", and "do your best and God does the rest", and trying to stop the panic and hold God's hand. Whew! Things are ending up much better this way. Like with the surgeon who just took out my appendix... was rough,, some bumps... but we actually ended up friends! and I'm feeling better than I've felt in a long time. but this is another story (see the CAS board).
In conclusion..... feeling depressed after stopping drinking is not unusual, cuz there is all that reality bumping up into us. Time to start the Steps.
love in recovery,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
Thanks everyone for the warm welcome...Amanda..I think you hit the nail on the head...for me I know that my triggers are feelings and bitterness towards others...In short, I use the alcohol to medicate my feelings and pain...because it certianly doesn't medicate the bitterness..that comes out full force when I am loaded.
Drinking is how I "cope".. no, let me rephrase that...I have no healthy or positive coping skills so when I start to "feel" certian feelings and towards certian people..then I drink. It isn't their fault I drink..but I do see and am finally figuring out what my personal "triggers" are..
I am off to bed. I will post after my first meeting tomorrow..
It kinda sounds like u,ve been in AA before, as a lot of us. I had some yrs sober***then a 7 year relaspe. No time to go into it. However it was a lot harder to come back then the first time. The emotions???????? Wild !! Depressed ? Absoutely ! We usually drink to avoid and medicate and of course bacause were alcoholics and like it period. This only me ??? I had to seek a little perfessional help because of the depression. Sometimes it's the root of the problem. Just some thoughts. Gotta stay in the middle of the great I am and the pour me ( another)
