Going back into recovery

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Going back into recovery

need2quit84 · Member

Hey, my name is Jeff I went to rehab a yr ago and went to AA for 6months where I stayed sober without even really thinking of drinking at all. i got cocky and arrogant and stopped going to meetings and then began to try to drink normally. I started out ok but it quickly became very habitual and I began drinking in excess as well as doing occasional drugs when I was drunk. I got drunk last night and did drugs. I have had it with this life and want to go back to being sober. I work as a kitchen manager in a restaurant where I can drink for free and my entire line of work is full of drinkers. I just want to get back on track. I plan on going back to AA meetings. Any experience, advice or wisdom would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

Tanin · MIP Old Timer

Welcome to the forum, Jeff. And welcome back to recovery.

The main thing I know about alcohol is that I cannot control how much I drink of it once I start. Even when it is in my best interests to stop, I do not.

I came to AA many years ago and I saw others with my same problem. And I saw that some of them were staying sober.

I wasn't unique.

Today is a real good day for you to begin recovery again. People who are alcoholics cannot win against alcohol.

need2quit84 · Member

My mistake was I finished the steps with a sponsor and then never met up with him after that and just prety much assumed I was good to go. Big mistake now I am back where I started but atleast I have the experience on my side.

Closer · Senior Member

Hi Jeff. I used to work in Restaurants where there was lots of drugs/drinking, especially with the young people in the kitchen. It was a fun place that I loved working in but I ended up losing my job cause I kept having smoke breaks and I ended up missing work when I was drunk. I miss working there cause I had a lot of great co-workers who I had a real good time with, It was a rib and steakhouse near my apartment. I remember enjoying myself while I was there but my drinking caught up with me and I couldnt hold the job. I was fired. I still think about the place and sometimes I wish I had gotten myself sorted out before it happened. I wasnt a manager but I was doing dish and food prep when I was younger and it was a great place. You should keep coming to meetings, asking for help on here is a good first step. when I think of a lot of things I lost because of my habits I sometimes wish I had gotten help sooner. You probably want to keep your job, restaurant industies can be a good place to work, but it usually involves a lot of drinking after work hours with everyone in the business. My advice probably isnt the best cause Im still working on my first year of recovery but Id be willing to bet you dont want to lose your job, or even go downhill any farther, if your saying youve "had it" already. One thing thats good about AA, is when we come in with a sincere atititude of wanting to get well, a lot of us start getting it together rather quick which is what Im sure you want, as youve said that youve been here already and are wanting help, I would go to some more meetings, a few at least just to test it out, before you decide to drink again. I'd be willing to bet your co-workers would support your situation if you decided to quit drinking, Im not even sure youd have to tell them your in AA, but I doubt anyone would be aginst the idea of you being sober. Life is really no good when your drunk, and it sucks the fun out of everyting, so if your wanting help, this is a good place to start, AA meetings in real life are even better. I still wish I had my job at the restaurant at times cause I remember the good times I had there that I kept pulling down on myself by sitting at the bar when my shift was over. Hope you find the help your looking for.

closer.

need2quit84 · Member

Hey thanks for the support guys appreciate it. I never really used online forums before but this is a great way to communicate for support when I can't get to a meeting. Damn I felt so good when I was sober just got my stupid ego in the way of it.

pinkchip · MIP Old Timer

Jeff, pick up a sponsor this time to be accountable to and work the steps. Try and find one person at work that does not drink alcholically. It is statistically impossible that every single person you work with is a drunk. When we are trying to rationalize drinking and then thinking about how hard it will be to quit, we think we are freaks and that everyohne else can drink but us. The reality is that there are probably a group of people at your work that are not booze hounds. There may be even one or more persons in recovery. Seek out those folks and hang around them and distance yourself from the others.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

need2quit84 wrote:
Damn I felt so good when I was sober just got my stupid ego in the way of it.

Hey man, ... you got That sh!t right ... I thought I was too damn smart for AA ... LOL ... glad to have company ... the oxymoron is true,

the smarter you are, the harder it is to 'get it' ... Ha ... shame it took me years to figure that out ...

Take Care and God Bless,

Pappy

justadrunk · MIP Old Timer

Welcome!

need2quit84 · Member

ya youre likely right, I tend to just go in do my job and go home however being 28 and single I dont have many friends outside of work

need2quit84 · Member

Ya I just went to a meeting it felt great. I just listened as it was my first time back and Ive only been sober for maybe 14hrs or so. I am pretty shy though so I gotta learn to talk more at meetings

vixen · MIP Old Timer

Hi, Jeff, and welcome to the boards. So glad you made it to a meeting! :)

need2quit84 · Member

Thank you this is pretty cool discussion board great for after meetings and stuff you dont really discuss in meetings

pinkchip · MIP Old Timer

I made so many friends in AA in early sobriety. Hundreds. Let those be your new friends for a while till you get a really good foundation of sobriety.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

need2quit84 wrote:
Thank you this is pretty cool discussion board great for after meetings and stuff you dont really discuss in meetings

You summed up the issue very well ... meetings first, web site next ... the commited AAer will go early to a meeting to help with setup if needed and/or to spend time with others prior to the meeting ... (sometimes called the 'meeting' before the 'meeting' ...) ... and they will stay after the meeting for 15 minutes to a 1/2 hour to help newcommers to feel at 'home' ... (sometimes called the 'meeting' after the 'meeting' ...) ... ... ... when I get home, I find spending time here very rewarding ... this is where we can have on-going discussions where more personal issues don't need to be aired locally if need be ...

F-2-F meetings cannot not be over suggested here, for most of us, they are a must for us to be successful ... this site, and others like it, are an invaluable tool in our arsenal ... they certainly 'fill in the gaps' ... please keep us up to date with your progress and for sure, don't hesitate to ask questions when they arise ...

God Bless,

Pappy

Zoomtopz · MIP Old Timer

G'Day Jeff.

Mate , I was too young , too good looking & did Not identify with anything or anybody when I first got here .

I waited 2years to hear the 1st line of my drinking story , I waited another 10 to hear the 2nd line . But , I hung around

long enough to hear it . Jeff , I was a Sailor & Interstate Truckdriver , fantastic jobs for Big drinkers here in Australia .

I went back driving Road-trains in remote parts of Australia after I got sober .

Why don't you use your previous sobriety as experience , you may become a better manager from it . I found a had to change

my Thinking at times , but I knew that , you told me "Stinking thinking leads to drinking". Mate, but one thing I had to do .

I HAD to Unlearn & Relearn everything . I Also had to stay away from my old environment , th pubs , th clubs & th footy .

A bloke at my 1st meeting said to me after I said I was an interstate trucker . "Mate you may have to stay away from the

trucks for awhile , hang around this outfit for awhile & you may want to go back" . I did , AFTER 2 and a half years .

I hope All works out for you . One Day at a Time.

Rick smile

Frodo · MIP Old Timer

Welcome Jeff.

need2quit84 · Member

Absolutely buddy will do. Same to you keep it in touch

Mr_David · MIP Old Timer

Welcome back Jeff...

gonee · MIP Old Timer

Welcome back.

Mike B. · MIP Old Timer

Welcome back Jeff!

chris · Senior Member

Hi Jeff, welcome. Thank you so much for the part of your post where you say you stopped going to meetings, and then thought that you could drink normally. I have been reading quite a few posts on this forum from people who are not going to meetings at all. To me this is just mind boggling. There is no way in hell I would have gotten sober and stayed sober all these years without continually going to AA meetings at least twice a week if not more. I'm sure there are people out there who can do it, but I haven't met them yet. Please go to meetings and get a sponsor. You know it works, you did it before!

Col · MIP Old Timer

Hey Jeff:) welcome!! Ahhh, another restaurant person on the board! Yeah!! I, too, work in the business-and have for.. Well, a long time haha. Since I was around 14 or so. I get it- it's a business that does promote, welcome, and is a breeding ground for a lifestyle of excess. I grew up in it, pretty much. I understand how difficult and alienating it feels to not share a drink ( or 12...) with your coworkers after work. To be honest, this comraderie of partying is something I loved about my job for years and years. I know the guys in the kitchen like to give the lone guy not drinking a hard time, but they probably secretly respect you a ton for your decision- the 'shit giving' is all macho bs. I've had one or two of the guys that work in my place approach me wanting to discuss their own battles with the bottle. Ive never made a show of not drinking, I just simply don't hang out after hours any more. Its not easy, but it's also not as tough as you may be thinking. Hang in there:)

justadrunk · MIP Old Timer

Excellent insight Col : )

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Great posts Colleen and Chris ...

Chris, ... you expressed my sentiments exactly ...

Pappy

need2quit84 · Member

Ya I just jet out the back door when Im done work and go home now lol. Its tough but for the longest time I felt like I was taking 2 steps forward( getting in good cardio shape, eating right, being smart financialy) and then I go get drunk , smoke a bunch of cigs(never smoked sober much) and do drugs and then It takes days to recover and be able to do any sort of work out again I blow a bunch of money pointlessly. Damn I cant wait to get a month or so in !

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Hey need2quit84, ...

Just stay in the right frame of mind ... don't allow the demons to come in and control your thinking ... all the stuff we go through in a days time is all external, what we think about is internal ... and go to meetings ... all the external stuff is just that, stuff ...

Isabell · Veteran Member

Jeff - I'm new to this board, and also had some sobriety then went road testing. I'm back to AA, my program and my sponsor. Glad you're here and glad I am too.

need2quit84 · Member

hi isabell how was ur experience with the road testing what exactly did u do and how long were u sober before, sober now, etc thanks

Col · MIP Old Timer

Hey Jeff:) just came across your post again and was wondering how you're doing?

Isabell · Veteran Member

Hey Jeff - just saw the post where you asked about my story. I will tell you about my sobriety and then 'self run riot' again, when I can get back on-line today. Hope you are in the F2F rooms and that you will be back here too. Congratulations on coming back around. It was hard for me to fess' up about my relapse, which was almost 3 weeks ago. I can't even put into words how hard that honesty was for me. That was the hardest part for me, and it inspires me that you came on the board and talked about it openly and freely. Your honesty and attitude of being up front and real about your situation is admirable. Your story about relapse has helped me. I also read this from pg. 300, BB (The Housewife that Drank at Home chapter) and it made a difference for me.

"The fellowship I found in AA enabled me to face my problem honestly and squarely. I couldn't do it among my relatives; I couldn't do it among my firneds. No one likes to admit that they're a drunk, that they can't control this thing. But when we come into AA we can face our problem honestly and openly. I went to closed meetings and open meetings. And I took everything that AA had t give me. Easy does it, first things first, one day at a time. It was at that point that I reached surrender."

Hope to see you here again soon! Bell

-- Edited by Isabell on Friday 14th of September 2012 06:39:29 AM

-- Edited by Isabell on Friday 14th of September 2012 06:42:41 AM

Tanin · MIP Old Timer

Col wrote:
Hey:) what is avrt?

Col, it is Addictive Voice Recognition Technique.

It's a method of treatment for alcoholism. It's becoming more known and more popular. Here's the website:

http://www.rational.org/index.php?id=36

need2quit84 wrote:
hey ya im good. i know everyone hear with probaly disagree with my approach but i am using avrt. it is working for me and as i am shy it is better tailored to my needs of staying sober. i will probaly continue to goto speaker meetings as i enjoy hearing others stories and experiencecs with recovery. i would still like to discuss on here with all of u and support one another but i understand it is an aa board and i am using another way so let me know

No one here will disagree with your use of AVRT, Jeff. How you stay sober is up to you. Secular treatment programs for alcoholism/addiction are gaining popularity in the world outside AA. AA does not object to that in any way. Nor does anyone in AA criticize other treatment programs. One, it's an outside issue and, two, we understand that AA has no monopoly on treatment programs.

And as for the site, it's not AA. This forum is a place where people talk about recovery and AA. This site is Not an AA group, nor is it affiliated with AA World Services. (This is contrary, of course, to many of the AA titles and labels on many of the web pages here--apparently just an oversight of some kind.)

Mostly, we talk here about AA because that is what we know and believe in. We are obviously biased in favor of AA. But that does not mean we can't talk about issues involving alcoholism and treatments therefor. We have discussed such here before.

There is nothing wrong with you continuing to share on this forum. Actually, we welcome it. I, for one, would like to hear how you are doing and about your experiences with AVRT. It helps us to stay sober to share with another alkie and it would be educational as well.

Keep up the good work. You are welcome here any time, and every time, you choose to post. We gain by supporting you.

-- Edited by Tanin on Sunday 16th of September 2012 06:27:17 PM

-- Edited by Tanin on Monday 17th of September 2012 05:55:08 AM

need2quit84 · Member

hey ya im good. i know everyone hear with probaly disagree with my approach but i am using avrt. it is working for me and as i am shy it is better tailored to my needs of staying sober. i will probaly continue to goto speaker meetings as i enjoy hearing others stories and experiencecs with recovery. i would still like to discuss on here with all of u and support one another but i understand it is an aa board and i am using another way so let me know

Col · MIP Old Timer

Hey:) what is avrt?

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Well, golly, ... I learned something new ... thanks Tanin ... loved your post by the way ...

need2quit84 · Member

its just more basic and straight forward thats what i like , im really introverted and shy so my best chances of staying sober are with avrt and disussions online like here. i am too shy to speak at meetings or really get anywhere in aa

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Need2quit ... What if you were dying and AA was your best bet ? ... We have plenty of shy people in our groups here ... many of whom began to speak publicly, then they go on to do speaker meetings ... I am one of those !!!

This could indeed help you with a life issue that's holding you back ... not saying that the meetings will help your shyness, just saying that the meetings have helped many with this condition ... it really is worth a try ... you're trying to make a 'new' you anyway, right? ...

need2quit84 · Member

ya but i dont really like the fact that i have to do everything aa says to do for me its way too controlling and that i really dislike. avrt just teaches u techniques to overcome the triggers and cravings and win with discilpline.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

need2quit84 wrote:
ya but i dont really like the fact that i have to do everything aa says to do for me its way too controlling and that i really dislike.

AA never, ever told me what I had to do ... they merely gave suggestions ...

and they never tried controlling me, simply lived a life I knew I wanted ...

you're impression of AA in general is WAY off, I think ... I don't know where

you got your impressions of AA, but it doesn't represent the core beliefs we have ...

I never said you had to go to AA, it was merely a suggestion!

Pappy

vixen · MIP Old Timer

When I was "in control" of my life I drank too much, made poor choices, held deep resentments, wallowed in self-pity and made a mess of things. When I follow the suggestions given to me in AA, I stay sober and grow and change as a human being. I am happier and healthier. If you can do this without AA, more power to you. I could not. My willpower alone never kept me from drinking. With my Higher Power, I stay sober one day at a time. :)

Mike B. · MIP Old Timer

Amen Vixen! That's been my experience as well. smile

need2quit84 · Member

my sponsor was too hardcore he said i HAD to goto X amount of meetings, see him X amount of times, etc i hated it. i work over 50hrs a wk so it just wasnt feasible and thats what caused me to be angry and leave aa so thats why im an avrt but whatever works for everyone i wish the best to

Col · MIP Old Timer

Hey:) not all sponsers are that hardcore. But if this method, which I must admit I'm ignorant about, works for you then great. You're always welcome here:)

Tanin · MIP Old Timer

need2quit84 wrote:
my sponsor was too hardcore he said i HAD to goto X amount of meetings, see him X amount of times, etc i hated it. i work over 50hrs a wk so it just wasnt feasible and thats what caused me to be angry and leave aa so thats why im an avrt but whatever works for everyone i wish the best to

That's too bad, Jeff. Sounds like you and your sponsor were not a good fit. Expectations of both the sponsor and sponsee should be calibrated. Else, there will be problems. Especially with a high value for X.

need2quit84 · Member

ya i suppose i did rush in and get the first sponsor i saw

need2quit84 · Member

but this is working really well so far for me(avrt) i just like the fact that u just live life normally except u dont drink or do drugs AT ALL. its pure absistence from everything but no meetings or anything. for now i just tell people i quit drinking for 6wks to cut down weight as i am into weight lifting then when that ends ill just say i prefer life like this ;) and i shouldnt get any sh** from anyone and maybe theyll see me and get motivated too if they have a bad drink habit too

justadrunk · MIP Old Timer

You're always welcome in AA - no matter what. You can do both programs collaboratively too - I was incredibly shy and still am super nervous to share. I look at it as practice in a safe place. It's what I need to do.

Tanin · MIP Old Timer

I am glad AVRT is working for you, Jeff. I've read accounts by others that it is working for them.

Keep up the good work.