I was just about to respond to your request a couple of hours ago when all the power went off ... ... ... a sign? ... I don't know but it gave me time to think over my response ... At least I didn't write the whole thing out and lose it just as I was about to hit the 'post' tab ... LOL ... I might have gotten a resentment had that occurred ... LOL
Well, they say there aren't any coincidences without meaning ... The 'topic' of discussion at last night's meeting was 'Live and Let Live' and just how do you interpret that ... ... ... I mean... of all the subjects we could discuss here, you chose this one ... what are the odds ??? ... ... ...
Basically, I shared, that to me, it means I have to stop trying to run the whole show ... that tends to rob others of their freedom to choose ... I never liked it when someone else tried to tell me how to live, so I now extend that courtesy to others ... I said it's like helping your kid to ride a bike, you can only go so far before you have to let them go own their own ... there was a part of my life when I tried to hold onto other peoples bikes and steer them in the direction I wanted them to go ... That didn't work out to well, it was, as you might guess, exhausting and accomplished very little ... I had to learn that, like my kid on the bike, I had to let them go to live their own lives and simply learn to adjust my life to live in harmony with theirs ... it wasn't really very hard to do and a whole lot less draining ...
I also had to learn to release the emotions tied to such situations ... you ever pitch a ball/paper wad to the basket, a golf ball shot to the fairway, a bowling ball release to the pins, etc. and ever experience the twisting or turning of your body, to put a little 'english' on it 'after' the shot ??? ... as if your gyrations will influence the outcome of the trajectory and landing ... LOL ... it doesn't does it? ... Well, when our emotions take over our thinking, they do this same kind of twisting and turning with our minds ... it can cause pain, worry, and anxiety ... In the AA program , as we mature spiritually, these emotional twists and turns effect us less and less ... because we learn to turn them over to God who is better equipped to handle them ...
So as I shared last night ... thanks to God and this program, I have learned to 'Live and Let Live' ... and leave the rest to God ... so far, it's worked out better than I could have imagined ...
Love you, Pappy
-- Edited by Pythonpappy on Friday 7th of September 2012 12:05:14 PM
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Most people do not work a 12 step program. Live and let live definitely applies to them. I can't expect everyone to live by the same principles that I do.
Furthermore, there are so many folks with different views. Even looking on facebook right now and seeing people with differing political and personal views than me can make me cop a mini-resentment repeatedly. I have to live and let live when I encounter people that have different views than me. Trying to change them is often futile and it falls in the "things I cannot change" category.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
For me, "Live and let live" ties into the serenity prayer, with accepting the things I cannot change. I can't change or control anyone else (despite my best efforts sometimes!). I can only hope to control myself, my own thoughts and actions. I take what I need and not what I want or would expect others to want; I know that what works for me might not necessarily work for anyone else, and what works for someone else may not work for me, and that's okay.
Another way to look at this would be to 'Live' ... to 'live', we must be free to choose our own path ... when we drink, alcohol takes our freedom away and controls our thinking and therefore our actions ... we become its slave, slavery is NOT a life, it's an existence ... SO ... to 'live', we must be free ... and to 'Let Live' ... means to allow our fellows this same opportunity ... we must let them be 'free' to choose their own way ... and not try steer them the way we think they should go ...
Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
This was part of my journey at my sponsor's knee while I was solely in the Al-Anon room. I had to learn what it meant and how it was done to focus on my only life and life's responsibilities and to put together a life that I wanted to live. I needed a behavioral program; the twelves steps and twelve traditions and I needed practice time in order to have a life I intended. To "let live" mean't supporting my efforts to get my own life by leaving others alone to their choices and consequences with respect and love. To allow another person (in my case my alcoholic/addict wife) to have the dignity of her choices was part and parcel of learning myself how to live my life and be responsible for it and the outcomes. Without a program means to me to live without direction and without intention and purpose...being spontaneous which was a part of the description of my drinking style. I still love this slogan and value it daily. ((((hugs))))
This, to me, is acceptance. Acceptance of life, others, and myself. This is something I'm struggling with at the moment. Sure, I get the philosophy intellectually and in my heart I believe we all have the same 'right' to freedom, as pappy said... On a daily basis in practice, though, this is the largest contributor to anger, self pity and resentments. Whenever I lose my temper, feel sad or lost, or begin to question if my faith is strong enough I realize the core of the issue is acceptance. It's not easy, for sure, but the program of aa helps steer me back to understanding every time. I guess I'm learning some stuff:)
Acceptance is the first thing that occurred to me prior to AA ... well, prior to my success in AA ... The key for me to allow AA's program to work for me was to first accept I had a problem ... then I had to accept help, a tough pill to swallow ... then I had to accept the fact that there were people, as bad as me, getting well in AA ... I then realized I was free to choose ... then I realized I needed to return the favor and allow others the freedom to choose also ... Amazing how that worked, when I freed others, I freed myself ... I was free to be me, and they were free from my interference to be themselves ... this soooo uncomplicated things ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I think of it as I will do my thing, you do yours, and everything is gonna be just fine. :)
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I think there's an invisible principle of living...if we believe we're guided through every step of our lives, we are. Its a lovely sight, watching it work.
