Ok, I am not computer savy and I can't figure out how to get this working. I downloaded and installed the java thing and reopened the window but all I have is the white box with an error message, actually like 3 java lang messages. loading errors I guess. Anyone know what to do, I really need to get in and talk to someone. This is my first time here.
Hey and welcome:) I have trouble getting into the room, as well.. Feel free to post whatever you'd like here as a new thread, or continuation of this one, and it usually winds up becoming a discussion style with others responding:)
I have basically hit rock bottom and I found this website, I thought a meeting would give me some perspective but it couldn't be that easy for me huh? Can't even get into a meeting. I even downloaded that irc thing but it is still unable to connect to a server, whatever that means. I don't even know where to begin which is why I thought a meeting, even if just to listen, might help me know where to start with aa
I understand how you feel.. This site is a great place to vent or ask any questions.. I began here before going to meetings. Its overwhelming at first, for sure, but you can say anything you'd like without fear. Everyone's very supportive:)
Glad you're here ... 1st, I'd highly recommend you look up the AA meetings in your area ... just search AA meetings and plug in your city and state ... 'face-to-face' meetings are best ... please try to get to one ASAP ...
AA became my family away from home ... honest loving group of people to accept you as you are ... the only requirement is a 'desire' to stop drinking ... they, and we, can help ... Please feel free to discuss any and everything that is causing you trouble, right here too ... We've all been there, done that ... and we can help guide you to sweet recovery ...
Take Care and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I am in a tough situation as far as getting to a live meeting. I am going to try but I am a single mother of four, across country from all my family. I work nights and weekends and go to school full time. Time is my predicament. Finding a free moment and a free babysitter is tough. All these reasons are why I started drinking in the first place. When I was married before, I was not this person. It's just been a downward spiral for the last I'd say year. I never realized before how bad the pull is...I knew my mother and my brother were both alchoholics but I guess I thought I could handle it better, I was way wrong. I tried just doing the weekend thing or special occaasion drinking but it mostly got ugly. I realize I'm not like other people. I can't just take a few drinks and be fine, in fact I don't know how they do it.
If we knew how they did it I don't think many of us would be here, but we can't just have that one. We have and will always lose that battle. We are here for you, glad you came by.
I am at the online meeting now. The topic is step 12 but I don't even know the steps and definitely not that far. Im gonna sit in and listen but I will be back here soon to chat. It's nice already to talk to someone who isn't judging me, although you haven't heard all the terrible things I have done
Not sure if I can share there. I think the whole topic thing is throwing me off. I didn't realize that was the case and I don't know about the topic. I will just listen for a few and check out some posts here. I really appreaciate you talking to me and helping me. How long has it been for you? It's been since Sunday for me. I know not much time has past but I only hope I can do it. I think I need to focus my energy into something new to pass the time. Thats kind of why I'm here. Usually bedtime is about 8 for my kids and and then I am alone so I break out the bottle. sad life huh. I feel like I am almost detoxing myself because I am definitly shaky.
I am in a tough situation as far as getting to a live meeting. I am going to try but I am a single mother of four, across country from all my family. I work nights and weekends and go to school full time. Time is my predicament. Finding a free moment and a free babysitter is tough. All these reasons are why I started drinking in the first place. When I was married before, I was not this person. It's just been a downward spiral for the last I'd say year. I never realized before how bad the pull is...I knew my mother and my brother were both alchoholics but I guess I thought I could handle it better, I was way wrong. I tried just doing the weekend thing or special occaasion drinking but it mostly got ugly. I realize I'm not like other people. I can't just take a few drinks and be fine, in fact I don't know how they do it.
There are a lot of moms in the program just like you ... But I must say that if you are indeed alcoholic, like us, and it sounds like you are, you must put your sobriety FIRST in your life ... Because if sobriety is not FIRST, then we tend to let alcohol take back over control of our lives ... You may need to make adjustments in your life in the way of work schedules and school schedules in order to make this work ... If you lose your sobriety, then all sorts of consequences are in your future, who takes care of the kids then ??? ... So many of us wind up in jail for allowing alcohol to rule most of or all our decisions ... and if we continue to drink, it is inevitable that we will be heading to jail (prison), mental institution, or even 6' under the ground ...
Alcoholism is a very progressive disease ... it only gets worse, never better ... act now, before it's too late ... but do it for you ... you need personal contact to help you along our path ... posting here is great, but it's no subsitute for getting you started off on the right foot, that a meeting can help you with ...
Take Care and God Bless,
Pappy
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Ditto what Tanin said ... if you didn't drink today, you're success ... our most important day sober is today ... it's all any of us have ... good job ...
Pappy
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Ditto what Tanin said ... if you didn't drink today, you're success ... our most important day sober is today ... it's all any of us have ... good job ...
Welcome aliasisme. Once I got to my first meeting, it just got easier from there. Not sure what to suggest about making meetings with your kids and job. Some folks are able to go to noon meetings on their lunch breaks. Online meetings are better than no meetings also. Eventually you may get feedback in the form of suggestion so that you can change the thoughts that have led you to drink in the past. Try not run and feel judged if and when that happens.
Most of us have heard many stories in AA. I heard a woman share once how she woke up from a black out laying on the floor with her toddler playing with the vomit in her hair. Not sure what you think you've done that is so much worse than the rest of us, and you don't need to share it but just know you aren't alone and alcohol has done the same basic thing to all of us.
**P.S. - Somewhat ironic that the meeting was on the 12th step and Tanin just gave you a great example of what the 12 step in action is. Thanks for being here at the right time and in the right way Tanin.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Hello! Welcome to the board aliasisme! I'm so glad you're here with us at MIP - I am a Mom as well, and I didn't know how it could be possible to fit meetings into my life. It felt hopeless, I didn't know what to do... I didn't want to drink anymore, but I couldn't stop. That sucked because I looked at the faces of my kids, and I wondered how I could be such a drunk Mom but still love them. I felt love, but It got really confusing... I just couldn't understand why I couldn't stop drinking... if I loved them.
Well, finally... by coming here... and eventually being conviced to give the live meetings a try, I learned slowly that this is a disease. That changed everything. They helped me figure out how this could be a disease when I was pouring the liquor down my throat. They helped me open up... showed me how to be honest with myself and others, and eventually start the program of recovery that has been laid out in the book of alcholics anonymous. You can start reading it online for free if you google it. I think you'll relate to a lot in that book, and the best thing is, you'll see HOW to recover from this disease of alcoholism.
Recovery is an amazing thing. I thought I couldn't possilby never drink again, and now I don't even think about never drinking again. I just focus on doing the right thing, right in front of me... finding what joy I can in just that. I focus on what I do have in my life, and how lucky to even be here in this world... when all else fails.
These days, I have so much to be grateful for. My family is healing, my kids are thriving and happy, I'm making goals and finding my values and morals most important. I get to find real strength in a power out there greater than myself... whom I chose to call God, and I didn't believe in God when I walked through the door. Someone gave me the help working through each step (my sponsor) and slowly I realized my spirituality was inside me all along, but was drowned and buried in a sea of red wine.
I had to work really hard on finding babysitters, and realize that the help was out there and necessary... and it's been the best thing in the world. I get to be a calm, patient, sober Mom now, and I will be forever grateful for the program of AA for giving me the tools to be like that. I never dreamed I would go a day without yelling at my kids. I learned to talk about, and forgive myself for all the awful thing that I did to my kids (drive drunk, pass out, be generally unattentive to name a few) and be something completely different and that they can count on for love and patience.
I hope you stick around and keep sharing here and reaching out. Welcome again!
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
You have a great perspective of your situation ... and you pointed out something that we all know too well ... nobody understands and alcoholic, like another alcoholic ... non-alcoholics just cannot fathom the control alcohol has on our 'thinking' ... they cannot possibly understand the cravings we have in early sobriety that very nearly drives us nuts ... we have given in to insane thinking for a long time and only by changing our 'thinking' are we able to stay in recovery ... we are here to help you along that path of recovery ...
There is nothing that you are going through or experiencing that most of us haven't already been through and learned to deal with ... so if you have any questions what-so-ever, don't hesitate to ask us ... Remember this simple prayer for now, it will get you through a lot of those days like you described above ... "God, - Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change - Courage to change the things I can - And the wisdom to know the difference --- Amen" ... ... ... I said this prayer at least 50 or 60 times a day my first month or so ... It definitely helped me through each day ...
Oh, and don't even waste your time trying to 'understand' your feelings where alcohol is concerned ... we will NEVER 'understand' ... once we stopped trying to understand them, then we could enjoy ourselves ...
Take Care and God Bless, Pappy
-- Edited by Pythonpappy on Wednesday 5th of September 2012 08:28:29 PM
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Thank you for that womens perspective, and Pappy I really did need to hear that. I was able to talk to a wonderful women last night who helped me a lot and went through some of the same things I have. My last drink was Sunday. The week has been tough but not unbearable. Hopefully I can actually get some sleep tonight, having trouble with that. Today was emotional as well. I swear everythng that could go wrong did today at one point I stopped and laughed becuase it was almost like a comedy movie, scenario after scenario and I looked up at this sky and said out loud...couldn't be easy huh? I then took out a notebook and started writing. Mostly thoughts about how I felt the pull to drink and someone who is not an alcoholic couldn't understand the way it feels. I thought a lot today about the events of the weekend that lead me to seek out this board. I thought a lot about the things that I did and the people that I hurt and I hope they can forgive me and support me even though they will never understand the way I feel....Its different for an alcoholic. I don't understand the feelings myself and how I can do the things I do to the people I love, and yes I do love them. I decided to think back to a time when I didn't drink and hold on to the fact that despite everything I KNOW I am a good person and I KNOW I am a good mom. I just let alchohol take over and cover that up. I don't want to let that happen ever again, I don't want to be this person. I want to go back to the good person I know is inside.
Hello! Welcome to the board aliasisme! I'm so glad you're here with us at MIP - I am a Mom as well, and I didn't know how it could be possible to fit meetings into my life. 
It felt hopeless, I didn't know what to do... I didn't want to drink anymore, but I couldn't stop. That sucked because I looked at the faces of my kids, and I wondered how I could be such a drunk Mom but still love them. I felt love, but It got really confusing... I just couldn't understand why I couldn't stop drinking... if I loved them.