So we're ready to take on the world, at least to take the next step. That's when it hits. Or rather we hit it.
The wall.
Suddenly the path that looked so clear, so easy, so laid out in front of us disappears. Just a little glitch, we think. We take another run at it.
It's still there.
Must be me, we think. I'll try a little harder. Get this problem under control. We may mumble a few words to a Higher Power, something about needing help, but essentially we're praying for enough steam to ram into and run through that wall, sometimes chanting the mantra My will be done all the way.
I wish I could tell you there is a way to avoid this wall-banging, head-bumping vortex of chaos, but if there is, I haven't found it.
It's a dirty dust devil of self-will.
Hearing that we're powerless over people, places, and things (such as alcohol and other drugs) and intellectually understanding that concept is one thing. Experiencing powerlessness is another.
I didn't surrender to my powerlessness over alcohol and drugs because I wanted to. I surrendered because I had to, because I was worn out, because I couldn't keep going anymore. I went down hard.
One morning, a friend called to see whether I had solved a problem I was struggling with. "Yup," I said. "I told God last night that whatever happened was okay with me." I was willing to do whatever God wanted. And I meant it.
"Oh that," she said gently. "Sweet surrender."
"Yeah," I said. "It's sweet . . . now."
Surrender. The place that those of us on a spiritual path call home.
Obstacles do not have to stop you. If you run into a wall, do not turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb over it, go through it, or work around it.
Jeannie
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You only live once; but if you work it right, once is enough. There is nothing better than the encouragement of a good friend.
Obstacles eh? I owned a big bull once...he confronted me in the middle of a pasture feild..I couldnt go over him...I couldnt go through him..and I couldnt go around him...so I surrendered to the fact that I was powerless......"I ran like hell" lol....and stayed away from him.....
Something like that first drink eh? Powerless.
Acceptance of people places and things....
There is a Higher Power....as a guide....11th step.... .its much easier..than than self will stuff.. Just my thoughts..
And read your post from below Rick..sorry I missed you...
Meeting night..gotta boogie..everythings hoky doky here...as long as one stays out of ones way.:) ehhhh?
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Easy Does it..Keep It Simple..Let Go and Let God..
So you ran like hell. Why didn't you stick around and deal with it. Accept the fact that the bull was in your way and deal with it - not run away. This is what I was saying in the first place. It is a given that we surrender and accept the fact that we are powerless over alcohol. Then comes the time when we have to deal with the consequences which is either climb over it, go through it, or work around it - ie - the steps and traditions and reading the big book. We deal with stuff in our own unique way.
Take today for example - I think about how difficult the holiday season was for everyone around me last year, especially my children. My son asked me if I was going to be drunk again this Christmas and my daughter - she is unsure if she should come and visit this Christmas and will I make a big, huge spectacul (ass) of myself again. What am I suppose say and/or do about this? I am finding myself falling back into an old habit (no not drinking) which is clam up and not say anything to anybody.
Jeannie
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You only live once; but if you work it right, once is enough. There is nothing better than the encouragement of a good friend.
um-The Bull?--I had to surrender to the fact that the thing had big horns...was breathing fire...and was getting ready to charge...the choices were... to either run like hell...or not live to see tomorrow...
It was dealt with. lol
As for Christmas--one day at a time...youve got lots of support..and new stuff is scary.,.,sober.
Itll be ok Jean. Keep lookin up.:)
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Easy Does it..Keep It Simple..Let Go and Let God..
My experience showed me that sometimes to save my life, sanity, and/or sobriety, it was best to run. My WILL got me into the relationship and when we knew it was best to end it, my EGO kept me involved to a point that the only way I could see to let go of her was to leave the state.
While on the road, I found a tape we had made together, just clowning stuff. When I listened to it I had strong emotional attachments to her. I didn't throw the tape out.
After a few months I listened again and still had attachments, but not as strong. I realized, then, that tape could let me know when it was safe to go visit. As long as there was emotions,(EGO), involved, I had to stay away.
4 years later I found the tape again. I could finally thank that lady for our relationship,(silently, through that power greater than myself), and felt strong enough to go back and visit my home group.
Through that personal experiance, I have to say, yes, for me, it was better to run.
