to any woman who was abused and/or assaulted by a man in the past. Aloha members...I went to the morning Attitude Adjustment AA meeting (I had the day off) and listen to the female speaker tell her story part of which is very very near and dear to my amends process; that of being violent and a physical, mental and emotional abusive man. Yes alcohol released the restraints against that kind of behavior and when they were released rarely than ever was I controlable with out the help of HP what ever the forms HP appeared in. Rage/adrenalin/testosterone plus alcohol are synergistic and I just didn't deal with anger I had to deal with out of control chaos. I won't go on further. You all know. I was one of the perps and I have worked the steps and amends process continually on it in ways directed by my HP. Mahalo Akua!! Part of that is the ongoing practice of apologizing and not relapsing. I apologize to any and all women I hear speak of the horror of being assaulted and abused by their "trusted" male partners whatever the level. The process keeps me from relapsing into any piece and part of this disease. No my amends isn't coming from the original perp and it is necessary for the spirit of the victim who often self blames and believes that this is the way it is suppose to be...submissive (barf). From the center of my soul...the person who now knows that "violence is never justified" and who was led by his HP to be a teacher and mentor for it...with heartfelt love, humility, guilt and shame. There never was a reason for treating you with violence. (((((hugs)))))
Wow.. That's very brave of you! I admire your courage and honesty. Sounds like you've done a lot of hard work to get to a place where you can say these words. I'm sure it's not an easy thing to admit. As a woman who grew up in the hell of abuse at the hands of a man, I still live with the emotional turmoil it creates. It's honestly great to hear a man both admit and sincerely be remorseful for abuse he was responsible for in the past.
