Mich here... So months before my first AA meeting I met with my saxophone professor with whom I share music, friendship, and now faith. I shared with him that I was lost, hurting and making a mess of my life. I did not share with him about my alcoholism because I had not yet admitted it myself, but I knew this was the greatest issue.I was unwilling at that time to admit that it was the root.I thought I could make it work.I was not ready to give it up. I knew he had come to the Lord sometime in his 30's after a long time of floundering and I was drawn to him for help. He gave me a bible and I read a few passages and we spoke about it. I let it go for sometime after that insisting I was not getting it.God was not for me. Nothing in my life seemed at all like God was helping. I continued to drink.I tried to read parts of the bible, opening it to random pages as if God had led me there.I thought I would find some miraculous answers, but my motives were my own.I wanted the bible to say the things I wanted to hear.Needless to say this was not working. I looked in the back and said ok what speaks to me. I came on a list of healing stories. I thought I need healing I will read those. The first I came to was John 5. I read it for months. However, it did not make sense until after I had admitted I was an alcoholic. I read it again shortly after entering AA.One day I just picked the thing up and I heard what I needed to hear.I was this man, 38 years, of waiting to be healed, but never really making an effort.Then comes along this guy who says, do you want to be healed.What a silly question, of course.Well then get up and walk.Easy as that.Remember though it is not enough just to be healed you must live it everyday or worse things will happen.It was not a threat; it was not to instill fear, but responsibility.Pick up your mat and walk.So, last week I headed back to my friends house for lunch and music.I was so scared to thank him for the bible.It was nearing the end of our visit and a burning desire came over me.I took out the bible and gently laid it on the table and I started to speak with a lump in my throat.I said thank you for giving me this bible.You know I have not read much, but I keep reading the same chapter over and over again.As a matter of fact I have been reading the thing for months and I think it finally spoke to me.I told him of the passage and what it meant to.He said look behind you.Well I knew his bible was open on the coach there since I arrived 5 hours earlier.He said pick it up.So I leaned back and took it in my hand and when the print finally came into focus I laughed out loud with tears in my eyes.Damn if he was not reading the same passage.He shared that he had also been focused on this passage for months.We looked at each other and smiled.There was only one answer.God He, she, it, whatever it is, it is present.Thats a miracle.One that I could never imagine let alone experience unless sober.I am so glad to be sober today.I am so glad for my HP.I am so glad for AA. Peace, Mich
We all get to AA in different ways. I like some points you made. First, yes, it is a program of action that has to be lied. In other words, I can be a good speaker but if I go and cut someone donw after the meeting I cancel out my efforst for God. I can also be a lousy speaker or never say much at all but be at peace because I love God so much I work for Him to the best of my ability.
God loves us so much that He finds a way to bring us to Him.
There is action and more action. Faith without works is dead. I found AA and the program of recovery, and then Him and and a purpose.
mich wrote:
Mich here... So months before my first AA meeting I met with my saxophone professor with whom I share music, friendship, and now faith. I shared with him that I was lost, hurting and making a mess of my life. I did not share with him about my alcoholism because I had not yet admitted it myself, but I knew this was the greatest issue.I was unwilling at that time to admit that it was the root.I thought I could make it work.I was not ready to give it up. I knew he had come to the Lord sometime in his 30's after a long time of floundering and I was drawn to him for help. He gave me a bible and I read a few passages and we spoke about it. I let it go for sometime after that insisting I was not getting it.God was not for me. Nothing in my life seemed at all like God was helping. I continued to drink.I tried to read parts of the bible, opening it to random pages as if God had led me there.I thought I would find some miraculous answers, but my motives were my own.I wanted the bible to say the things I wanted to hear.Needless to say this was not working. I looked in the back and said ok what speaks to me. I came on a list of healing stories. I thought I need healing I will read those. The first I came to was John 5. I read it for months. However, it did not make sense until after I had admitted I was an alcoholic. I read it again shortly after entering AA.One day I just picked the thing up and I heard what I needed to hear.I was this man, 38 years, of waiting to be healed, but never really making an effort.Then comes along this guy who says, do you want to be healed.What a silly question, of course.Well then get up and walk.Easy as that.Remember though it is not enough just to be healed you must live it everyday or worse things will happen.It was not a threat; it was not to instill fear, but responsibility.Pick up your mat and walk.So, last week I headed back to my friends house for lunch and music.I was so scared to thank him for the bible.It was nearing the end of our visit and a burning desire came over me.I took out the bible and gently laid it on the table and I started to speak with a lump in my throat.I said thank you for giving me this bible.You know I have not read much, but I keep reading the same chapter over and over again.As a matter of fact I have been reading the thing for months and I think it finally spoke to me.I told him of the passage and what it meant to.He said look behind you.Well I knew his bible was open on the coach there since I arrived 5 hours earlier.He said pick it up.So I leaned back and took it in my hand and when the print finally came into focus I laughed out loud with tears in my eyes.Damn if he was not reading the same passage.He shared that he had also been focused on this passage for months.We looked at each other and smiled.There was only one answer.God He, she, it, whatever it is, it is present.Thats a miracle.One that I could never imagine let alone experience unless sober.I am so glad to be sober today.I am so glad for my HP.I am so glad for AA. Peace, Mich
Yea, I even spoke to more people today at my meeting. I felt like myself? Whoa! I shared again. It feels good. I also called three people today. Ok two my sponsor was the third. :)
Aloha Mich...great share and it reminds me when I learned the difference between abandon and surrender as in "yourself to God as you understand God". When I use to try surrendering I kept having reservations where as when I abandoned myself to God there were no more reservations and I was sitting squarely in the middle of God's palms. With God doing the guidance there are no surprises as to where I find myself and what is going on there. Some one said coincidence? of course...you're not the last person that God will ever talk to or show God-self to. Coincidence means that you can share it with many others who have had very similar experiences, like in the rooms of AA. Keep coming back.
Great Kathy - I'm going to use Mr. Davids plug here: Keep the momentum going!! : )
Someone said something that finally hit home to me the other night when they were about to speak: "I'm always really nervous to say anything in front of people, so I take a moment to remind myself to let God work through me, and that way it's his, I can't take credit for it, so it takes the pressure off."
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
Great Kathy - I'm going to use Mr. Davids plug here: Keep the momentum going!! : )
Someone said something that finally hit home to me the other night when they were about to speak: "I'm always really nervous to say anything in front of people, so I take a moment to remind myself to let God work through me, and that way it's his, I can't take credit for it, so it takes the pressure off."
Hey Tasha, ...
That became a part of my prayers later on in sobriety ... where I began to have something that might actually help others ... I prayed that if I had the opportunity to share at this meeting, that God would fill me with His spirit so that I might say something that someone else needs to hear ... and not for the reason of personal pleasure nor pride ... AND it DID take the pressure of sharing off my shoulders ... (this works too for when you are the speaker at a 'speaker meeting')
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
