Hello, My name is Paul, and as of today Im looking to quit drinking and thought this site would be a start, I read the 12 steps but not really sure where to start, my drinking has been getting worse, but did not have one drink today and trying to find ways to keep my mind off it, hope I can find support here and ways to stop, any help would be greatly awsome!
Hi..reading the forums and trying to understand everything on the site, I live in Michigan in the city of Warren, should I go to meetings? Im not a people person or have many friends have no clue where to start, I'm having a good day so far but feeling lost on fighting the urge to run to the store, it is my first day sober and trying so hard not to think about it, tonight will be hard for I know I wont be able to sleep! today will be easy, but tomorow will be harder.
please excuse my typing, I'm not the greatest, and my gramer stinks! lol!
Hey paul:) I think that if you're thinking about going to a meeting, you should go. We all know how difficult this may be, and I was very overwhelmed when i walked into my first meeting alone. BUT I felt so relieved and 'at home'. If youre not a 'people person' that's ok.. Nobody will force you to talk about anything if you're not comfortable. You can just listen. It's worth checking out if you're curious.
Aloha Paul...sounds like you're qualified and your story is mine also when I first got into recovery. I was a loner drunk...was afraid and distrustful so was safer drinking away from the herd. I also didn't know anything about alcoholism and didn't know that I didn't know. It didn't work trying to stop on my own because that was I was trying to stop with the one person I drank with all the time...myself. I needed others and I needed discipline I would be willing to try and that came from inside the AA meetings. In the meetings were the fellowship that had been where I was then and also had experiences getting and staying alcohol free and then sober (there is a difference). I'm sure Warren has meetings close by cause you and the rest of us are not alone or on a lonely quest. The program is is most countries on the planet so that will tell you that you are not the only man trying to get sober and we do this together. Ours is a cunning, powerful and baffling disease and it is progressive...it gets progressively worse if not arrested by total abstinence. Go to the white pages of your local telephone book and look up the AA Central Office and call that number. You should get a live person to talk to or a recording of the meeting places and times we get together in your area. Good luck and keep coming back here regardless. Good to have you at MIP also.
Hey Paul Welcome to MIP Today can be the beginning of a "new " life/ We do suggest finding a meeting,listening to learn, seeking and listening for a sponsor and getting into our solution The Steps ,worked with a sponsor and the application applied to the actions and behaviors of our lives. Heres a quick link to ssome stuff in Warren Michigan and I believe number for the Help Line in different areas. www.theagapecenter.com ......WE do this a day at a time,hope to hear more from you.Peace/
__________________
Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Hey Paul - yes I agree with what's been said. This forum is so helpful, and you can learn so much reading.
I personally, got so much from going to an actual meeting - granted I cried through most of it, and all the way home, but that was mostly just because I met so many people who were just like me! I actually wasn't alone in my crazy drinking - even the really crazy stuff! Even the drinking in the morning! Even the drinking in the middle of the night! All the crazy going from store to store, saying "no" in my head the whole time, but still ending up drunk... not even wanting to drink anymore, but still drinking... it just wasn't fun anymore. I was hurting myself, and I had to lower my standards in that regard over and over. Same thing with my family. Pretty soon - passing out at noon was okay : (
Then I get to AA, and there is finally a glimmer of hope for this seemingly hopeless life of mine. I get to talk to people who think like me, but also know how to stop thinking like me... ha ha... not sure if that makes sense, but maybe some day it will : )
I'm sure you can google your town name, and AA and you'll find some meetings in your area. That's what I did on my phone. I showed up not realizing there were a lot of different kinds of meetings, but I knew I needed to find what I heard would help "a sponsor". If I had it to do again, I would walk in with the idea in my head that "nothing can be worse than this anyway". But I wasn't thinking like that at the time. I was just scared sh****less. I'm guessing most of us are when we walk through the door... but it's worth checking out as Col said. Cuz now I get to live a happy life, without drinking (something I couldn't imagine ever possible) re-connect with family and friends, be the parent I was meant to be, the sister, daughter, friend, neighbor... basically... I got my life back.
This AA thing... saved my life actually.
__________________
Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
Thanks everyone for your replies, my wife is proud of me taking this first step, and my kids are happy Im doing this, gald my wife found this for me! I do side work for a guy thats a AA member and he has been sober for ten years, maybe I can ask him to help me out in finding the best place in my area, till then I will post how Im doing here, if I need to talk when having a break down, I will come on just to get my mind in the right path! Thank you so much!
During the week, I go to work, come home and have two 40oz beers, I dont drink during the day, just at night when I get home, but I get to the point where I start doing more than that, going back out to the store for more, now its getting to the point where Im buying the hard stuff, which I never do, also thought to myself "whats wrong with a man having a cold beer after a hard day of work, but now look! I have battled hard drugs 16yrs ago and won, but now I have to battle this one!
My escalation from drinking just at night - to basically all the time and ready to lose my whole life was in a very short period of time. It didn't take long once I had one, I wanted more and more each night - driving drunk to get it, sometimes even with my kids. Soon my "night" started at dinner - then 3pm, then I 2pm - then noon - after I broke the "noon rule" which is still pretty acceptable here in Wisconsin - all hell broke loose - and I was lost in a sea of booze and hangovers and crazy.
Same went with the days. First it was just weekends. Then it was including Thursdays or one other night in the week. Then Wednesdays - then everyday. All the while, I just kept stuffing my feelings, telling more lies, keeping more secrets.
I've recently just worked through the steps, and they took me and my family back to a place where we don't lie to each other, yell constantly, harbor hurt feelings - I've been able to forgive myself for a lot of it because I realize it's a disease - I didn't get that before.
__________________
Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
Welcome Paul...The suggested program of recovery in AA is the 12 steps...Get a Big Book....I'll post an online version for you....Read The Doctor's Opinion and the first 103 pages for the directions of the steps....I'd read the whole thing more than once....But the meat and potatoes is the the first 103 pages.....Get yourself to some meetings...And I'm glad you are here!.....This program saved my life.
Hey! Glad to see you here. I'd consider looking up meetings in your area (google is great). Keep an open mind. Find people you relate to. And grab a sponsor, I know I couldn't do these steps alone.
__________________
In the end, everything will be alright. If it is not alright, it is not the end... Paulo coelho (also marigold hotel)
Welcome Paul. Just getting to my 1st meeting was the hardest part for me. I had to get to the point of being really fed up and done with the way alcohol was wrecking my whole life. It's not always easy but, if you work hard for sobriety, it will be yours and you will have a much, much better life for it.
__________________
Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Its 9pm, doing good so far, really keeping myself busy tonight, picked up some really good info today, thanks for the link Stepchild, I will save the link! I will be making some calls in the morning, there are alot of AA meetings going on in my area, just need to pick which one! :) Thanks for all the help everyone!
Glad you found us, even if it was with your wife's help ... My wife would do anything to help me 'get help' to stop drinking like I was ... When that didn't work, she wanted a divorce ... Yikes!!! ... long story ...
This is a great recovery site and the help just keeps pouring over the screen in front of you ... But you got to want help ... For sure, go to meetings ... it's that 'facing up to things' that'll get you started ...
AND by all means, keep us up-to-date on your progress, even your problems or questions ...
Take Care and God Bless, Pappy
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Welcome, Paul! You've heard the suggestion before, but I will repeat it because it really does help. Go to a meeting, get a copy of The Big Book, and start connecting with others who have this disease. You don't have to ever drink again, if you don't want to. :)
__________________
I think there's an invisible principle of living...if we believe we're guided through every step of our lives, we are. Its a lovely sight, watching it work.
Hey Paul - I see you're back today! Keep coming back : )
Did you find a meeting?
Yes, I have been on today at work, doing some reading here at the site, I work long hours which is good, but have time on my breaks to catch up reading, I'm probaly gonna check which place I want to go to for the meetings, there are some a few miles from me, and at my local church by me. I already have the Big Book and Twelve steps and Twelve Traditions coming in in a day or two. I'm slowly putting things together, day two of my journey, feeling positve today besides not being able to sleep last night, body feeling strange, not sure what my side affects from not drinking within the next two weeks will be like, but so far not going bad as wanting to drink, I'm sure it will be mental challage!
So everyone I will be updating you everyday when time gives me, I have alot of support from family and friends and my co-workers at work, and I'm ready! I will make another thread for my updates, and share my story with you!
Withdrawal symptoms can vary depending on what your daily drinking habits have been ... the heavier you drink, the worst the withdrawal ... So glad you made the choice to stop now ...
The symptoms we go through are typically sweating, shakes, cravings, mind running all over the place (racing thoughts), and yes ... sleepless nights for a while ... the longer and heavier we drank, the longer and stronger these side-effects last ... And I'll warn you up front, when you start feeling GREAT, then the thoughts return that you may be able to control your drinking ... Watch out for these thoughts ... cause for us, to have one drink is too many, and to have a hundred is not enough ... Don't kid yourself, these thoughts of controlling your drinking will come ... alcoholism is cunning, baffling, and powerful ...
We're here to help you through all this ... BUT, we are not a substitute for 'face-to-face' meetings ... Be sure to start going to meetings ASAP ...
Take Care and God Bless, Pappy
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Welcome, glad you found us. Now go to a meeting and don't stop. You cant do AA alone in your head , Well actually you can but it wont work. Your head is where the problem is. Go to a meeting.
__________________
Since it cost a lot to win, and even more to loose, you and me gotta spend some time just wondering what to choose.
Thanks Pappy and billyjack, as of now I have the mind racing, little shakes, two 40 oz beers a night for the past 16yrs, stopped drinking the hard stuff when my son was born 16yrs ago and stuck with beer, but the past year getting shots first, then half pints on the weekends, I knew it was getting out of hand, but now I know both had to go, cant be one or the other!
I know I cant do it alone, I tried to many times before, and that's why I'm here, the meeting will happen for me, staying strong and sober right now till I get to one, trust me!!
Goodnight everyone, just wanted to check in! Day two done with :)
Got some good sleep in last night, feeling good this morning for once, plus today I'm going to sign up for Hockey training, which should be a good positve thing I always wanted to do, get back working out again and eating right! Cant wait!
Plus I had a dream last night, kind of a creepy one one, but in my dream I was being chased by a wild pack of dogs and made it to my home, I got in the house and I heard someone pounding at my door, I went to look out the door and this guy was pushing his way in saying come on, you have to by me some booze, just a fifth, I shoved him out and knocked him down and said NO, I dont drink, get out of here! I think in my mind in my dream was telling me I can fight this! but it was just a dream and wanted to share!
Hockey training sounds really fun! I got back into a work out routine and better eating habits when I came in too. I didn't stick with the same work out sessions, but I am still getting a lot more exercise than when I was drinking, basically thinking "eh, why bother anyway".
The eating has it's ups and downs too - but I was very diligent in the beginning. For me, there were issues with taking on so much, and trying to recover after the first monthish - and I ended up falling away from all of it. When I came back to everything, it ended up being mostly about my recovery plan, and kind of a "do what works" approach to everything. There was a lot I wanted to start really working on in AA, and I really wanted to make it to as many meetings as possible, so I focused on that for 3 months - although I was still much more conscious about what I was eating and took on some cleaning jobs just for the exercise aspect of it, and boy it turned out to be a great outlet for time to think and put my perfectionism somewhere it mattered... and see it for what it was. It's been a great thing so far, and being that it's a "job", I can't say 'f it' like I would to the recumbent bike.
I tried to do no carbs and sugar the first month too - and I do eat less carbs and sugar overall - but trying to quit drinking, and quit all my other favorite stuff (I love mashed potatoes so much I often eat them for breakfast)... that was a bit over the top! Of course, being an alcoholic living with constant chaos, like a chicken with my head cut off, was all I new anyway. Really - anything you do to get healthier is taking action - and that's what AA is about!
Have a great day - and keep us posted!
__________________
Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
Great share ... Proceed with caution ... In AA, we suggest to the newest members, that they don't go making 'major changes' in their life for at least a year ... we usually mean on the 'relationship' boy/girl level ... but this can also apply to other major changes too ... try to not change too much too soon ... it can be very 'over-whelming' ... and it can definitely make staying sober more difficult ...
As for your dream ? ... WOW, I'm not a therapist, but to me it sounds like you've got your 'sub-conscious' on board with sobriety already ... to me, that was half the battle ... You see ?, we have to change the way we think, cause our old way of thinking got us to the rooms of AA to start with ... and to change the way you think, you have to get the program ingrained in your mind enough so that the 'sub-conscious' mind aids the conscious mind ... Did that make sense ??? ...
Anyway, dreams are simply thoughts ... we are not usually affected by them unless we 'act' on them ...
Take Care, Pappy
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I understand what your saying, on changes, kind of taking back what I had and picking up where I left off, everything I have is already here, its how much I want it back!
Woohoo my Big book is here already! That was fast. Shower, Hockey Rink, church for my meetings schedule, hopefully back here for 9pm chat meetings if anyone goes there! Feeling good again today! :)
Oh - wow I forgot about that chat meeting - it's not something that's active right now, but I know there are a few interested in resuming it - and I am one of them. I will start a thread about it.
__________________
Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
Oh - wow I forgot about that chat meeting - it's not something that's active right now, but I know there are a few interested in resuming it - and I am one of them. I will start a thread about it.
Well, tried to get the chat running but no luck! But anyways got my Big Book today, still doing good so far, couldnt get in St. marks today, doors was locked! Maybe have to look else where!
Day Three!!! So far, just wonderful, Feeling the the effects of the withdraws little bit more now, but keeping myself busy and positive, not giving myself time to think about it, but think I better lay off the coffee
Ok, talk tomorrow everyone! going to bed early makes the next day come faster
But anyways got my Big Book today, still doing good so far, couldnt get in St. marks today, doors was locked! Maybe have to look else where!
