Hello. I went to my meeting the other day. Even as I drove there I was still on the fence about keeping my sponsor or talking with her. I got there and spoke to a women I trust and she informed me that it is my choice, but that the person I asked indeed has some issues. Don't we all. I felt bad. After the meeting I asked someone else. Then I took the women aside. She beat me to the punch. She could not have been more gratious. She was glad I found a sponsor and was happy to serve in the way she was meant to for me. She wished me the best in my sobriety. I told her I appreciated our phone call. I was having trouble with that and she helped me get up the nerve to communicate. She said she was a conduit. Whatever it was helped me to move forward when all I was doing was standing still. So she is special to me.
My alcoholism, I allow unhealthy situations to go on and on knowing I have the courage from God to change them. It is a pattern with me. Instead of saying something I let her think I was asking her. I only meant to get a list of sponsors from her. It was a simple misunderstanding. I was not able to be honest. I knew that. What happened later on the phone was unfortunate. What lead up to that happened because of me. For that I am sorry. I was able to change it by talking with her instead of just continuing on or hurting her. I hope this means I am evolving.
My new sponsor is a better fit. How do we get were we are going. We learn.
I let God bring me my sponsor. I simply asked Him for help and stayed open to who I saw, then asked someone. I have to hear someone share in a meeting to know. And sometimes hear them and see them around for a while. I don't understand this thing about sponsor lists.
But it seems you pretty much ended up doing it like that anyway.
Good for you for listening to your instincts. I identify with you about letting things continue then hurting myself and the other person. Boy oh boy, Yup. Good for you again!
Sponsor are not perfect people. Try to lower your expectations - we will all always be alcoholic. And people go through rough times at any stage of life.
I'm happy for you that you dealt with everything honestly. I hope your new sponsor can guide you through AA's Big Book and knows the program of recovery. That's really the most important thing.
