Hi:) I've noticed a more positive outlook on things over the course of the past week or so. Positive outlook on pretty much everything.. Don't get me wrong- I know I know nothing and I'm not dancing around on a pink cloud. It's a little more realistically positive. Basically, I'm starting to get my s**t cleaned up physically, mentally, spiritually and financially. Very small steps, but steps that I can see will LEAD somewhere. I'm not aimlessly wandering about ( well, sometimes I still am haha, but at least I'm aware that I'm doing it- it's not in alcohol induced oblivion). Take today, for example. Pretty typical day for me...wake at 4am, say a prayer, jump in shower, walk to bus ( praying again that I don't miss it lol), run around waiting on tables from 6-3, jump on bus to go to next job- wait on tables from 4-10..walk the 1 1/2 miles home. Say a couple of prayers of gratitude and think about the day in solitude during the walk- knowing i have to wake at 4am again. Im not complaining at all-and that's the point. I'm not asking why is my day do long? Why do I have to be happy and cheerful to sometimes rude people all day? Blah blah. Today I KNOW that I am NOT STUCK. I'm lucky to have employment, and make very good money. Yes, I work hard for it. I'm not whining about it anymore. This is, in fact, not forever. It's simply what I have to do to get where I want to go. It's enabling me to rectify the financial disaster I've created. It also helps build my confidence and inner strength- knowing that I'm able and WILLING to work do hard to achieve the future goals I have. I have goals again- that's pretty amazing in and of itself. Instead of sitting my ass on a barstool and talking to everyone about them, I'm now putting one foot in front of the other to attain them, with Gods help. Like its gonna be alright. I'm not lost in a monotonous aimless tedious pursuit. There's a reason for everything I now do:)
Be good to yourself. I remember my sponsor talking a lot about balance in early sobriety. I had to make a weekly schedule on a calendar for basic stuff like eat, sleep, exercise, go to meetings, do laundry, look at/pay bills, social activities time... It took 6 months to come close to adhere to that schedule but I kept starting over every week working on it.
Stpetedean!! Thank you for sharing that.. I, too, had started to do this what I call " weekly planning for dummies" lol. I started to do it of my own idea, because my time management skills frankly never existed. I've done it every week for the past 90 days(90 days today:). I manage to get the essentials taken care of- meetings, daily calls to sponser, laundry. I've just recently been able to eat like a normal person. Ive found that ya, I'm getting by, but I also WAY overload what can be done in a day- and "rest" is a luxury, not a neccesity on the list. I still have a lot to learn about being a 36 year old, and what normal, healthy expectations and schedules are like. I'm so glad you shared that you struggled with this, as well and succeeded in figuring it all out sober:)
Stpetedean!! Thank you for sharing that.. I, too, had started to do this what I call " weekly planning for dummies" lol. I started to do it of my own idea, because my time management skills frankly never existed. I've done it every week for the past 90 days(90 days today:). I manage to get the essentials taken care of- meetings, daily calls to sponser, laundry. I've just recently been able to eat like a normal person. Ive found that ya, I'm getting by, but I also WAY overload what can be done in a day- and "rest" is a luxury, not a neccesity on the list. I still have a lot to learn about being a 36 year old, and what normal, healthy expectations and schedules are like. I'm so glad you shared that you struggled with this, as well and succeeded in figuring it all out sober:)
Col, I still have my calendar from my first year sober ('90) in my desk drawer. I was actually 6 months when the year began, and that calendar is full of stuff. A couple of concerts per month, trips to beach, trips to California, interstate motorcycle trips, ski trips... and it's never stopped. I've been taking 3 ski trips out west for the last 5 years and 2 a year previous to that. I made taking 4 good vacations a year an "A" priority on my "Big list"
