I Just Don't Get It

chris · Senior Member

I Just Don't Get It

Col · MIP Old Timer

Ah man, that's horrible.. But you're right.. It does help us not lose sight of how powerful this alcoholism can be. So sorry to hear of your friends passing..so tragic. I know a gentleman who has been struggling with this disease for years, he's in his early 60s and had a couple years under his belt. I work with him, and had noticed erratic behavior. Well, one day he comes in and is obviously (obvious to me) wasted. Stumbling, dropping things, very angry, slurred speech.. Our boss had to call an ambulance to take him to hospital for detox..she's pretty young and thought he was having a stroke. This mans daughter was also working that night..just a mess. Anyway, I spoke with him afterwards and he thought he could begin drinking again since he had abstained for a few years. I will never forget this. If I ever get that notion for myself I can learn from him.

Jerry F · MIP Old Timer

I go to meetings to hear the "other" side of the disease...the recovery from it the Higher Power who hangs out with us there and then follows us home and around supporting our decisions/choices not to take the next drinking. I know not all of us make it. This is a fatal disease knowing that and the fatal aspects of it (have had 3 toxic shocks) I also now know how to prevent that from happening one day at a time. I also know that I do not walk alone with this and as long as I exercise my ability to reach out to another drunk and ask "Please help me" or "Is there something I can help you with", I'm not going to be swept away like I use to. There is no justification to drink and fear and self pity both are grease to the slippery slide. Call your sponsor, get into the literature; go to a meeting...speak with HP. Keep coming back. smile

Col · MIP Old Timer

Very true.. More stories of hope in the rooms than not, though both are valuable.. I've never heard that term " toxic shocks" in relation to alcohol. What does that mean?

turninggrey · MIP Old Timer

Sadly Chris, these slips educate us as well. The horrible consequences have to be seen to be believed. Slipping does happen. That is why we do this one day at a time. Like Jerry F says, go for the positives, but make note of the hard lessons. The sad part is how the wheat is separated from the chaff. I probably deserve to be one of the tragic dead, but for mt HP's own reasons, none of my slips proved fatal. Everyone of them made me stronger. I think I am "finally there" at this point in my life, but I do not ever give the demon his chance. That may be the hard lesson to take away from this.
Tom

Stepchild · MIP Old Timer

chris wrote:
At my morning meeting today, I heard a guy say he was sober with the help of AA for 15 years and then thought he could drink sociably.

I've had a few people like this in my time in AA...Not a real long time either....I always ask them...What happened? So I can learn from it....It's usually as simple as I slacked off with the prayer and meditation....Or I stopped going to meetings.....Got away from my program.

I have a good friend that just got 29 years in AA and he took me to a speaker meeting one night...Great guy....Knows the program upside down....While we were in his truck on the way there...He told me...You know you go out of AA the same way you came in right?...I didn't understand what he was talking about. He said...You come in....You go to meetings...Get a sponsor and call him....Work the steps...Get into your prayer and meditation...And you start helping others...Pretty soon a little time goes by...You start letting up on the service work....Then you start to slack on the prayer and meditation...Next you're not calling your sponsor or any other alcoholics....And before you know it you've cut meetings out and you're on the street drinking....You went out...The same way you came in......He told me...One word you need to know.....Vigilant....Watch those things and if you see you're lacking somewhere...Fix it. Always remain vigilant.

Vigilant : alertly watchful especially to avoid danger

Tanin · MIP Old Timer

chris wrote:
Why do I go to meetings? To hear these things, amongst other reasons. It just struck me particularly hard today how powerful this disease is.

That's a major reason I go to meetings. It's always a powerful moment for me. And, yes, I also reflect on how damn powerful the disease of alcoholism is. Whether one has 60 days or 20 years, it's a powerful force. I could never stand up against it alone.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

chris wrote:
At my morning meeting today, I heard a guy say he was sober with the help of AA for 15 years and then thought he could drink sociably. He's back because he got a DWI and his life is shit. I also heard from another person that someone I liked and had a lot in common with, and who I thought had a great grasp on the program, but hadn't seen around in a while, killed herself this week.
Why do I go to meetings? To hear these things, amongst other reasons. It just struck me particularly hard today how powerful this disease is. F You alcoholism.

I don't know where or when I heard this, but I was told that some must die for others to live ... What your post says to me is what Stepchild said, we have to remain vigilant in our program ... and your post, to me, says that ... One drink is too many ... that I have not, and will never, developed full immunity to this disease ...

chris wrote:

Why do I go to meetings? To hear these things, amongst other reasons.

To save your ass ... Because you and I need desparately to be reminded, over, and over, and over, that this disease wants us dead and right here in front of us is the proof ... SORRY, sometimes, I too, need a slap in the face to awaken myself from resting on my laurels ... ... ... THIS ISN'T A GAME ........ There are no 'do-overs' ... ...

justadrunk · MIP Old Timer

Great points everyone - stepchild, I loved what you wrote - I may need to get that tatooed somewhere...er wait - I'm almost 34 and don't do that anyway lol

Stepchild · MIP Old Timer

Tatoo it on your brain...That's what I did.

Bryan39 · Senior Member

We have a daily reprieve contingent on maintenance of a fit spiritual condition. One of my best friends in the program had 7 years of sobriety and went back out he would tell you that he slowly walked away from church (his spritual foundation) stopped going to meetings, then his live in at the time left him he was devastated and turned back to alcohol and drugs

pinkchip · MIP Old Timer

At the very least it's a reminder to keep working at your sobriety. There have been times when I got complacent, but I keep coming back cuz I don't want those horror stories to wind up being me. I don't want to be a casualty of the disease.

I do feel the same way sometimes in terms of the "F you alcoholism." Remember though, we are around a pleasantly disproportionate amount of people that are building successful recoveries - being in AA. In comparison to the stats on alcoholics floundering out there not in the program - We see more good than bad.

Tanin · MIP Old Timer

pinkchip wrote:
At the very least it's a reminder to keep working at your sobriety. There have been times when I got complacent, but I keep coming back cuz I don't want those horror stories to wind up being me. I don't want to be a casualty of the disease.

I do feel the same way sometimes in terms of the "F you alcoholism." Remember though, we are around a pleasantly disproportionate amount of people that are building successful recoveries - being in AA. In comparison to the stats on alcoholics floundering out there not in the program - We see more good than bad.

What are the numbers you're seeing, AA vs. other than?

Mr_David · MIP Old Timer

I always thought hindsight was 20/20, especially for alcoholics like us. I guess not anymore. I mean, what can cause a person to forget what they have already learned. You can blame it on routines, bad relationships or even worse, but what you cannot deny is the inevitable... alcohol still kills. So instead of reminiscing about past behaviors, maybe they should remember the obvious first, we're still alcoholics. Then, do what others continue to do...stay sober. It can't get any easier than that, at least not for me. Keep it simple stupid is a slogan I can certainly appreciate. And now you know why???

pinkchip · MIP Old Timer

I guess I meant those in no program. In any given meeting I go to, there is a room full of up to 50 alcholics all with varying degrees of long term sobriety. That is pretty miraculous right? But we do focus on the person that relapses and feel deflated instead of like a room full of winners. That is what I am talking about in terms of the positively disproportional amount of recovery in the rooms vs. outside. It sucks that relapse is common, it sucks that we are all vulnerable - but regardless, at any given time in a meeting, I can find more folks with long term sobriety there than folks relapsing. Hence, the solution would seem to be in the rooms.

I don't know specific stats on other program or quitting on your own. I know this is what worked for me. I wouldn't trust those stats anyhow....even if they were in favor of AA. You can never get a truly random sample in a group that is anonymous.