This is one of the most poignant quotes I have ever read because it perfectly embodies so much of why I have spent so much time drinking. I started drinking heavily about ten years ago, and within the first year effectively ruined a number of friendships and my first real relationship. Heavy use made me extremely defensive, insecure, and prone to escaping difficult conversations by getting drunk. And so I gravitated toward drinking buddies who "wouldn't judge" and away from people who actually cared about my well-being. In other words, within my first year regrets and bad decisions began to snowball into a huge mess that made me want to escape even more, and subsequently led to more drinking.
I think that one of the most difficult aspects of making the decision to stop drinking is finding the strength to look forward instead of dwelling in the mistakes of the past. I think for so many of us the compulsion to drink can be triggered by regrets that have been caused by years of drinking. Like the tipler in The Little Prince, the cycle of shame and alcohol use and regret have been a perpetual trap. And I understand that many of the decisions I made cannot be undone and many of the relationships I damaged cannot be restored - but I think what's important is thinking about the relationships that CAN be healed and the future mistakes that can be avoided. I only recently began the 12 steps, but in doing so have already found a tremendous amount of hope.
So here is to the future.
-Adam
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When every situation which life can offer is turned to the profit of spiritual growth, no situation can really be a bad one.-Paul Brunton
A very wise 'over-view' of the past and a great understanding of the 'present' ... Time to get to work ... What you do today will determine some of the things the future holds for you tomorrow ... Just like if you buy a 'chocolate cake mix' at the store today, then you shouldn't expect to have 'pound cake' tomorrow ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
It took me a while to get the point of the promise " We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it" Well, I certainly regretted a lot of things I did in the past, and wanted to shut the door on them forever. It was part of why I drank, because I was ashamed and could not escape the guilt. One day, while sitting in a meeting, a member who was picking up his 30 year chip shared this. There were things in his past that he did regret, and always would. Through the 12 steps and AA, he had been able to face them and learn to let go of the guilt. With this, he was able to not regret his past as a whole, as it was what brought him to his present. And his present was so much more than he could have ever imagined for himself. It was a real lightbulb moment for me. Kind of like, Ohhhh, now I get it. Now I not only get the point of the promise, I am seeing the promise come to fruition in my life as I work this program and the 12 steps as it is suggested. What a blessing. Peace.
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I asked God for all things that I may enjoy life. He gave me life so that I may enjoy all things.
I think another reason you don't want to shut the door on it...Is we can help people with our past...No matter how bad it is. I know when I met my sponsor I was terrified I had this past that had to be the most horrible past possible....He took me to breakfast and we talked.....He told me things about his past I couldn't even touch...It put me right at ease....The past we have is a gift that can make us useful. Not something we need to hide.
No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
He told me things about his past I couldn't even touch...It put me right at ease....The past we have is a gift that can make us useful. Not something we need to hide.
Thanks for sharing this. That makes a lot of sense. When we can utilize our own experiences to help and support others, at least those experiences are not in vain :)
-Adam
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When every situation which life can offer is turned to the profit of spiritual growth, no situation can really be a bad one.-Paul Brunton
