Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old green John Deere.
Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off first the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left. He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his overalls fall down to his hips, revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt. Then, grabbing both sides of his shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his stained T-shirt underneath. With a final flourish, he tears the T-shirt from his body, and hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay. ... Having seen enough, Cletus rushes in and says, "What the heck're ya doing, Billy Bob?"
"Good Lord, Cletus, ya scared the bejeezers out of me," says an obviously embarrassed Billy Bob.
"But me 'n the Ol' Lady been havin trouble lately in the bedroom d'partment, and the therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor."
.
.
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Sorry guys, but I was raised on a farm and this had me on the floor LMAO ... Pappy
-- Edited by Pythonpappy on Thursday 26th of July 2012 11:17:35 PM
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Whew, that's good ... ... ... my mind took a detour ... sorry ... I feel better now ...
Here's my new toy: ...
For everyone who would rather not have a gun in the house!
If the dummies in Washington think they are going to take away our guns, check this out. I like it!
They'd NEVER think of NAIL GUNS! They're concentrating on doing away with the BULLET-TYPE of ammunition! HAH! I think I'm gonna buy ME some NAIL GUNS and NAILS!!!! AND, we don't even have to REGISTER them or have LICENSES for them!
HA! HOW STUPID ARE THEY!!! AND, you don't have to worry about them being CONCEALED! Just a LOT of good stuff to do with THIS!
New Nail Gun, made by DeWALT
It can drive a 16-D nail through a 2x4 at 200 yards. This makes construction a breeze; you can sit in your lawn chair and build a fence. Just get your wife to hold the fence boards in place while you sit back and relax, and when she has the board in the right place, just fire away.
With the hundred round magazine, you can build the fence with a minimum of reloading. After a day of fence building with the new DeWalt Rapid fire nail gun, the wife will not ask you to build or fix anything else, probably ever again.
Once in awhile something so totally cool comes out that even a guy who doesn't normally even know what he'd like for Father's Day or Christmas would immediately ask for it:
-- Edited by Pythonpappy on Thursday 26th of July 2012 11:48:55 PM
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Oh! Fancy sports care! Ooh! Brand new .44! Pooh! Brand new sit n ride electric power steering cuts through a full inch thick branch of wood lawn mower!! Ooooh! Look at this beauty... A 60 foot 16 cylinder boat! Isn't SHE spectacular!! (just poking some innocent fun at men and "keepin up with the jones'" and their bragging rights when a new power tool comes out) lol similar to women and shoes/clothes/candles/perfumes/makeup/house decor... Ect
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In the end, everything will be alright. If it is not alright, it is not the end... Paulo coelho (also marigold hotel)
Wow, Pappy. It's not what I pictured so early in the morning. There goes my breakfast and probably my lunch too. Funny, though. My mother grew up on a farm somewhere in PA. So I know a good farm joke when I read one. Thanks again, Pappy; it made for an interesting morning let's just say. Anyone else care to ring in? Maybe the other farm person, Tasha?
Wow, Pappy. It's not what I pictured so early in the morning. There goes my breakfast and probably my lunch too. Funny, though. My mother grew up on a farm somewhere in PA. So I know a good farm joke when I read one. Thanks again, Pappy; it made for an interesting morning let's just say. Anyone else care to ring in?
I think the John Deere tractor may be a none-too-subtle metaphorical reference to a certain political party.
Pappy just might be tryin' to slip in another bit of propaganda and personal opinion on us poor rubes. The man is incorrigible.
Okay , for you simpletons out there ... Okay, listen up Stepchild ... ... ... The last line of the joke above is:
"But me 'n the Ol' Lady been havin trouble lately in the bedroom d'partment, and the therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor."
Substitute 'Attract her' for 'a tractor' ... ... ... Duh ... the ole country boy is THE ONE who didn't "get it" ... ... ...
P.S. There is absolutely no reference, directly nor indirectly, to any political party or cause what-so-ever here ... thank you very much !!! (in either post)
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
