So, I did it!!! Leverne accepted me as her sponsee!! And, as instructed, also a poloroid and small caption goes in the recovery scrap book. I've also learned... I'm quite the creative individual.
Starting step one formally tomorrow. She asked me to write a brief timeline of my memories. Says it will help to confirm step one and help me later on my 4/8/9 steps.
How did you go through your first step?
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In the end, everything will be alright. If it is not alright, it is not the end... Paulo coelho (also marigold hotel)
Typically, when a person has been beaten down by alcohol ... over and over and over ... this person finally, at some point, realizes they are not in control of their life anymore ... and it is at this point, they concede to the fact that they have lost control of their life and alcohol has taken over and is calling the shots now ... when this happens, some of us find our way into the doors of AA ... In my humble opinion, just walking thru the doors of AA and seeking help, you have completed the first step ... Oh, I know, there are those who come through the doors to learn how to control their drinking, but when you think of it, they've admitted to themselves already, that they can't control it ... and there are those too who are just a little bit curious, to see if they fit in with those of us who are here ... many are surprised to find out they can easily relate to our problems with alcohol and decide to stick around ...
For me? ... the night I crawled up the stairs to beg my wife to take me to 'rehab' ... I did the first step ...
Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Good for you for getting a sponsor.....How did I do my first step?...By the book....Like this....
We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.
bb pg 30
I was actually in the back of a cab with a beer in my hand on the way to rehab...I had lost everything I could lose....I had no power over alcohol...Alcohol was my Master. And I couldn't run my life....I needed a new Manager....I surrendered....I said..."God help me"....And haven't had a drink since.....Enjoy the ride!!
"The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed."
Well... I think this dude (at work) smashed that delusion. And he said not to worry, his intentions aren't to ruin my future, but to protect our clients. I'm still nervous around him my by tail isn't tucked between my legs anymore.
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In the end, everything will be alright. If it is not alright, it is not the end... Paulo coelho (also marigold hotel)
I admitted I was an alcoholic so long ago I don't remember it. I said it out loud at my first meeting, and it was weird to hear those words. It was like one of those fast forwarding movies from scene to scene... all devastation in my life due to alcohol.
It was a meek mumble at first - shaking in my boots, and crying all the way home... and then things started getting better.
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
I'm glad you made it Tasha. Your experience offers alot of hope. If you went from mumbling desperation to an optimistic hope in six months... Maybe I can too
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In the end, everything will be alright. If it is not alright, it is not the end... Paulo coelho (also marigold hotel)
That was not an accusation either Neophyte - I just remember you going from "I don't know how I will survive without those pills" to now working the steps. Did you just quit cold turkey? Did you detox? Just wondering and concerned. The steps and sponsorship will not work the way they are supposed to if you are still using (again - not saying you are)
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Nah, pinkchip. You dont have to worry so much about sounding accusatory. I think there is another phrase i keep in my brain. "if it doesnt apply... let it fly"
The college Im attending has Meetings and out patient rehab . i believe it was a force outside my imagination that made it so that out patient starts 15 minutes after my last class ends. I have stopped... cold turkey. I had my drs apt yesterday. i didnt tell them i needed anything but a check-up/physical. And my health is good. havent vomited today. but my sleep patterns are really messed up, and Im going through some hard core mood swings. But I guess thats just because I have no coping skills. Im hoping the program will help me balance these mood swings so that its not a tsunami wave, but a lasagna ripple.
Im really just trying to force myself to forget the option of picking up. Someone said that the best way to keep your sobriety is to just not pick up. Thats where Im at right now. Live for the moment. I dont have to think about not using for the whole day or the whole month or even the whole year. I dont have to think about issues that are not right infront of me. Im really trying to work on First things First and living in the moment.
Thanks for your concern
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In the end, everything will be alright. If it is not alright, it is not the end... Paulo coelho (also marigold hotel)
P.S. also... Id much rather imagine a life without substances than a life of losing my license... going to prison... and having to find a whole new career. Fear is the ultimate motivator.... right?
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In the end, everything will be alright. If it is not alright, it is not the end... Paulo coelho (also marigold hotel)
Nah, pinkchip. You dont have to worry so much about sounding accusatory. I think there is another phrase i keep in my brain. "if it doesnt apply... let it fly"
The college Im attending has Meetings and out patient rehab . i believe it was a force outside my imagination that made it so that out patient starts 15 minutes after my last class ends. I have stopped... cold turkey. I had my drs apt yesterday. i didnt tell them i needed anything but a check-up/physical. And my health is good. havent vomited today. but my sleep patterns are really messed up, and Im going through some hard core mood swings. But I guess thats just because I have no coping skills. Im hoping the program will help me balance these mood swings so that its not a tsunami wave, but a lasagna ripple.
Im really just trying to force myself to forget the option of picking up. Someone said that the best way to keep your sobriety is to just not pick up. Thats where Im at right now. Live for the moment. I dont have to think about not using for the whole day or the whole month or even the whole year. I dont have to think about issues that are not right infront of me. Im really trying to work on First things First and living in the moment.
Thanks for your concern
That's a great post...If you have to go minute to minute...Than that's what you do. Good for you...Don't pick up today and get busy! It's all about action. Sounds like you are in the right place.
So, I did it!!! Leverne accepted me as her sponsee!! ... How did you go through your first step?
I'm glad you got a sponsor. That's great.
I consider my acceptance of utter defeat by alcohol on the morning after my last drunk to be my 1st step. With a massive hangover, I looked in the mirror and knew that I had no chance of ever controlling my drinking or my behavior while drunk. Complete ego deflation. Later that morning I made the call to try to get help. I knew that my life was unmanageable. 3 days later I attended my first AA meeting. I don't recall when I actually read the 1st step. It was a very hazy time, early in AA. But I remember the guy in the mirror pretty clearly.
