It sounds like alcohol addiction is in some ways similar to the smoking addiction I had many years ago. Nobody could convince me to quit. It was all up to me. And when I finally did, I went cold-turkey. Ironically, the cheapest place in town to buy cigarettes was located right across the street from a funeral home. $5.00 a carton! LOL! Thanks Mikef
Hi, I'm coming to your forum for some advice. I am not an alcoholic but I know a co-worker who is. She has been a part of our work group for about 5 years. She is out of work frequently and she sometimes calls me when she's totally drunk and I can barely understand a word she says. I am writing this because I just want to help. I am married and I do not want to get too close to this girl but she seems to have nobody for friends except her Mom who is very old and sadly, an abusive biker boyfriend who is an alcoholic from what she has said. I want to help her but I don't know how. I'm afraid that if she keeps taking so many days off she could lose her job. The only reason I have any contact with her is because I am the one she has to call when there is something wrong with her computer. I was thinking about sneaking into her office area and putting a copy of the "Letter to an Alcoholic Woman" under her keyboard. I don't know. I just want to help her. How can a guy help a girl without getting too close? Wish I could throw money at the problem to fix it. Thank you for your time and God bless all of you.
You could do that, the letter to a woman alcoholic thing. You could subtly bring it up with her and give her your area's aa meeting website. But in the end, no amount of money can fix an alcoholic. Reach out to her maybe next time she calls you. If she's responsive, she (or you) could google local meetings. There is also an aa hot line, next time she calls you you could tell her to try that phone number to help her with her life problems (probably wouldn't phrase it that way though)
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sober: showing no excessive or extreme qualities of fancy, emotion, or prejudice
Hey Mr. Ed...I can tell you as an alcoholic...The only way she is going to stop is when she is ready to stop...Nobody could tell me anything...When I got tired of losing jobs and everything else in my life...I got to the point I couldn't take it any more....I was done.....Nobody had to tell me anything...I threw in the towel....You might mention something about finding this site and giving her the address here...We could probably steer her in the right direction....But she has to want it....That's bottom line. It's nice to know she has someone that at least cares about her....God bless you for that!
Hi Mr. Ed, ... ... ... (there's an old TV show I loved by that name, LOL ... sorry)
Seriously Ed, ... there's very little you can do other than ask this lady, outside of work, if she thinks she may be having trouble with alcohol ... ... ... She may -or- may not admit to it ... You see, many of us think we have our alcohol abuse under control AND that few, if any, others know about it ...
If she says she 'might' have a problem, then by all means, give her the local number to call for AA support ... Absolutely NO alcoholic will recover unless they 'want' to ... but making her aware that you 'sense' something is wrong, then you may just be opening the door for her to look at herself and perhaps seek the solution to her addiction and an answer to her other life problems as well ...
Thank You Ed ... for being a concerned friend ... and for taking the initiative to help her without getting 'too friendly' ... if you know what I mean ... that's a very kind and honorable thing to do ...
You may be able to give her this web address and suggest she look around this recovery forum ... Who know's she may get excited over knowing there's a way out ...
Take Care and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Yes ,as has been said,until the person reaches the point of surrender there isn't much we can do.I can suggest if you wanted to learn more about not enabling,more about our illness you could try an Al-Anon meeting.I have a now recovering 27 year old son ,who is now in recovery from hardcore heroin addiction since he was 17. I am an active member of Nar-Anon as well as an Alcoholic. I learn that I didnt cause the illness,I couldn't cure or it or control(I knew that from my own addiction) it but It did help in a support group of people I could identify with.The first group I ever attended over 5 years ago there was a person who was a friend of an addict (Nar-Anon)who was looking for some info about the disease and to learn how not to enable and ensure his sanity remained stable.WE can only do so much and it is good you would like to help but recovery begins with the surrender and willingness to admit to our problem,put down the poison and find a new way to live.No one can make us do that.... we can be prayed over ,put in jail,lose all we have ,be dipped in oil,wreak havoc through out the land etc but it has to come from the inside of us.We are here to offer suggestions from our ESH(experience ,strength and hope what worked for us and what didnt.Be honest ,be careful,you may suggest the help that is available,but it is up to the individual to make the decision to save their lives...I will keep you both in prayer,
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
