I had my 'pink cloud moment' early on, briefly though. I was new to the program -about 2 months sober- and struggling just a bit like most newcomers, and then I felt this sense of awe for the very first time. Like, everything felt anew once again. Unfortunately, I felt miserable and ashamed after that. I guess the reality of my past started to soak in, finally. So I needed to reinforce that belief once again -where everything seemed to matter including sobriety. But guess what, I suffered a breakdown instead. So arriving in A.A. on eagles wings never really applied to me.
But what did happen from there was more than satisfying. I finally surrendered my will over -thank God, and the rest has been etched in a "one day at a time" philosophy that never seems to change -unless I choose too. But here's the thing though; I can never get too comfortable, especially for any length of time. All that will do is create an atmosphere of indifference for me. Basically, the more contented I become the less motivated I'll feel, it's that simple. I'd rather be on the edge of something greater than to sit idly by and watch others succeed. I do feel more satisfied today than ever before, but, again, I can't be too comfortable with myself, ever. Mediocrity is one thing, but happenstance is another. So be careful what you wish for because you just might get something completely different in return. I hope this helps.
-- Edited by Mr_David on Saturday 21st of July 2012 01:13:48 AM
I heard recently at a meeting about a feeling you can get in AA from continuous sobriety called a pink cloud. Its apparently a feeling that can last for a short amount of time, perhaps maybe a week or so, maybe 2, but can quickly go away and perhaps never come again. Has anyone ever experienced this? Ive never had it happen but its supposed to feel even better than being a happy drunk! Has anyone ever heard of this anywhere? Ive heard a number of people mention theyre "pink cloud" what is this?
A lot of people get this euphoric feeling because they are new to AA and sobriety...I think just coming to grips you've admitted to yourself you are an alcoholic has something to do with it...I know for myself it was a great weight lifted off me when I wasn't fighting that anymore...It does fade away and really is a time you can use that energy to get busy and start working the steps...(12 steps being a pink parachute.)....Or you can enjoy it and do nothing....And nothing is what you'll get. It's a program of action.....No action...No rewards.
Pink Cloud: The temporary sensation of euphoria and well-being that is characteristic to those who are new to AA and sobriety. For most, the pink cloud eventually dissipates. This heralds the time to get down to business and start seriously working the Steps
This did happen to me looking back i think it came from a sense of accomplishment, as much as anything else. Its exciting to have taken those first steps into a new life.
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Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life. Romans 8:6 , The Message
I've seen a lot of people in my short time in AA come into meetings and talk about how great they are doing and how wonderful life is...And they do the first three steps...They're on a pink cloud and everything is going right....And then they get to the fourth step. Something about taking a fearless and honest look at your past and your fears seems to put a real damper on that euphoric feeling....Have you ever heard the expression about the AA dance?...One, two, three and out...One, two, three and out....There is a lot a truth to that...I've seen people that have been doing it for years. You know how you work step 3?....By working steps 4 through 9. Then you live steps 10 through 12....One day at a time. Simple...Not easy.
Every one else here has summed it up pretty thoroughly, and this pink cloud enthusiasm should be put to good use, fellowship, commitments, definitely step work. I remember when my pink cloud vanished and I relapsed shortly after. Coming back after that relapse I got my first taste of humility. I've seen a few other newbies drop off their pink cloud and relapse because they never opened their 12 step parachute... Good analogy stepchild
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sober: showing no excessive or extreme qualities of fancy, emotion, or prejudice
I never have had that pink cloud experience in 13 years. Like others here I've seen lots of people talk about them and then you don't see them anymore, or there in and out. I like to tell them enjoy that pink cloud while it lasts and I hope you have your pink parachute on. Its a long way down to sober...... S..son O..of a B..bitch E..everything's R..real
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Since it cost a lot to win, and even more to loose, you and me gotta spend some time just wondering what to choose.
I suppose I had that at moments. I recall being amazed by nature and how bright the sun was and the birds and there was a day or two while I was like "Wow - the world is so beautiful!"- as if I'd never seen it before. Then it was back to fixing my life and focusing on my character defects (fun fun lol).
I've been diagnosed with depression and I used to joke that I wished I had bipolar disorder cuz at least then I would have some fun manic episodes (of course I know now that mania is not fun and its crazy and dangerous). Similarly, I'm not one that was prone to those "pink cloud" moments or periods. Mostly, it's just AA jargon.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
I definetly experienced that "ahh, isn't the world truly a beautiful, harmonious place?" feeling. As a matter of fact, I believe I made some posts on this sight during this time (a couple weeks sober? ) describing just sitting in the park or something. As pink hip described, the world was a fresh place to me, as though I were a child seeing it for the first time. Though this feeling hasn't completely dissipated, it has shrunk to "normal size". I loved the Son Of A Bitch Everything's Real!!! Yup. I'm now realizing all the Work I have to do on myself. Day to day life still goes on, and I now adjust accordingly, instead of having booze as my buffer. But, I still feel much lighter, more free, and kind of at peace. Not all the time, of course. I can only speak from my own experience, but im finding a happy medium between being elated and being miserable.
Every one else here has summed it up pretty thoroughly, and this pink cloud enthusiasm should be put to good use, fellowship, commitments, definitely step work. I remember when my pink cloud vanished and I relapsed shortly after. Coming back after that relapse I got my first taste of humility. I've seen a few other newbies drop off their pink cloud and relapse because they never opened their 12 step parachute... Good analogy stepchild
This says it all for me ... ... ... good share Ruhig ...
I think most of us go through the 'pink cloud' stage in about 60 to 90 days ... for the first time in years, Our vision isn't clouded over with alcohol ... and as those first few days turn to weeks, then we get a tsate of what sobriety feels like ... we get a taste of the 'promises' and it feels good ... we think this is what I've been looking for ... and like Ruhig said, when the pink cloud vanished, so did my sobriety ...
Only when I came back and humbled myself, ... knowing I needed to be taught, ... and finally working the steps, ... did I begin to have that 'long-term' pink cloud with me ... the "I'm in the pink" feeling all the time ... (that took about a year ... for me) ...
I think if you don't have that 'pink cloud' feeling now, then there's something you may have missed in the program ... I think if you work the program as it is recommended, then we should be on cloud 9 all the time ... Sobriety means getting away from the 'dry drunk' syndrome ... it means cleaning up your side of the street and keeping it clean ... it means happiness and well-being ... 'Peace and Serenity' as promised ...
Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
When I put down booze I went on a Pink Cloud without realizing it. Basically, things were so much better than my drinking days that in comparison i felt pretty good.
I still had a lot of fear and low self-esteem and relationship problems though. I was lonely a lot of the time and had to be with other people and it seemed i was still the same "me", just without alcohol.
I used replacements for alcohol to feel high moods, like shopping, cigarettes and coffee, and obsessive codependent relationships.
After a few years went by life began to pile up on me sober. By year 6 I was in a deep depression which resulted eventually in hospitalizations and meds etc. Nothing worked.
At year 8 after 2 years of suffering I began to hear a few people talking differently in AA than I had ever heard. They were saying things about that the steps were in the Big Book. I didn't know that. I tried the steps 3x out of the 12 & 12 and it didn't work. I was still in "La-La Land" and didn't even know it.
When my pain got great enough I dragged myself into a Step Study on my knees and that is where everything changed for me.
I hope this does not sound weird, but I still go in and out of the pink cloud. I actually feel euphoric when I can see the path my HP reveals for me. I am still floored by the life I have been able to lead since sobriety was introduced into my life by surrendering to the disease. Tom
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"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
Ah Ruhig - you just found your wall... didn't you...
I found myself feeling more fortunate, or less while reading different posts tonight, and realized, I am not taking care of the gift I've been given while doing that. I am my HP's "work of art" I need to focus on it, take care of it, be proud of it, be involved with it... make the most of it so it can be of most use.
Someone on here quoted "I will be the best orange I can be". That didn't make any sense to me until this very moment, but now I get it. I wanted to ask, but somehow knew, it would be revealed to me... thanks Ruhig.
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
My pink cloud, by the way, when I look to the sky... looks like a big birthday present. I imagine opening it slowly in the morning, to find it empty.
It's actually part of my meditation.
I think of the fresh start I've been given. The empty box, has room for anything I may need to learn, cherish and then wrap up and give away some day.
Corny as it may seem, it's true. Everything is a gift, and everything I'm given, I want to handle with care in case it's going to be passed down to the next precious creation... like you Closer!
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
Ah Ruhig - you just found your wall... didn't you...
I found myself feeling more fortunate, or less while reading different posts tonight, and realized, I am not taking care of the gift I've been given while doing that. I am my HP's "work of art" I need to focus on it, take care of it, be proud of it, be involved with it... make the most of it so it can be of most use.
Someone on here quoted "I will be the best orange I can be". That didn't make any sense to me until this very moment, but now I get it. I wanted to ask, but somehow knew, it would be revealed to me... thanks Ruhig.
one wall of many... Oh well, this too shall pass too huh? Just keep putting the foot work in... (btw, I admired that phrase too... Do the best you can for who you (as in general masses... Not you specifically) are... Not pretend to be someone your not.)
"I think of the fresh start I've been given. The empty box, has room for anything I may need to learn, cherish and then wrap up and give away some day."
actually... This was hands down a phenominal idea to begin my day with... Thank you
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sober: showing no excessive or extreme qualities of fancy, emotion, or prejudice
Yes, heard of the "pink cloud". Where I got sober we called it being on your "honeymoon", which I think explains the phase better. Everything is great, new and consistanly refreshing for a period of time. Like was said, usually in the first few months.
It can actually be dangerous in some cases, so be on guard,,,alcohol is a subtle foe. Keep working the steps, stay in service and connected and learn to use the tools. Like they say, at some point the only thing standing between a man and a drink will be his belief in a power greater than himself.
That said, I've a lot of wonderful honeymoons of differnt varieties over the years.
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Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
Drinking is like hitting yourself on the head with a hammer: It feels really good when you stop! I suspect there may be some pharmacology involved as well. Alcohol is a powerful depressant, so the body and mind may adapt..when you remove the alcohol, then these adaptations result in a strong natural stimulant effect. It is pretty common to have trouble sleeping in the first sober weeks, and I think this would explain it. For me, though, I think the main thing is removing the shame and self loathing I had over my drinking.
Drinking is like hitting yourself on the head with a hammer: It feels really good when you stop! I suspect there may be some pharmacology involved as well. Alcohol is a powerful depressant, so the body and mind may adapt..when you remove the alcohol, then these adaptations result in a strong natural stimulant effect. It is pretty common to have trouble sleeping in the first sober weeks, and I think this would explain it. For me, though, I think the main thing is removing the shame and self loathing I had over my drinking.
Withdrawals usually are the opposite of the drug. Take a heavy pain killer like herion and when you withdraw you get severe body pain. Smokes relax you, go without and you'll be edgy and anxious. I don't know much about cocaine but I suspect that coming off it would leave you tired and listless. When you take away the depressant alcohol provides you lift.
I was a daily top up drunk so I think my cloud was heavier than most. I don't think I'd spent a day sober in the best part of a decade so it made me feel like I was full of helium and everything was the most wonderful thing in the world, but at the same time it was scary because I knew that my reactions to things were wrong. Bouncing around and smiling when your wife tells you she never wants to see you again and you'll need to fight in the courts to see the kids isn't right by any stretch.
All up it was an interesting experience but one that I never, ever want to go through again.
