I had a slight hiccough at work on Monday. And when I realized this, my stomach dropped. Sick with guilt and frustration. If only I could rewind 4 hours. Dammit. How could I let this happen-- twice in two weeks none the less. I quickly made up as best I could where I could. The person very forgiving.
But I still had to face the dreaded office. Will they fire me? It's not that tragic an event-- no one was injured, no long term reprocussions. So I waited. Maybe they would forget. Maybe I would get lucky.
And then I got the call. She wasn't sure if she was going to fire me or suspend me. Tuesday, she said, come in at ten. And so I waited. And obsessed. What would I say? How can I manipulate this situation? Personal responsibility ruhig. I'm not exempt from inconvenient consequences. Or self sabotage. Honesty ruhig. Suck it up ruhig. Your right where your supposed to be ruhig. There is a reason for everything ruhig. Don't anticipate anything or become defensive or overly dramatically remorseful. Go in, listen. Be honest and sincere.
They worked with me. Sure, I got a slap on the wrist, but I deserved it. And it was fair. And in the end, the result bought me time to finish my plan.
Obsessing gets me nowhere. And if I recall the phrase "the anticipation of death is far worse than death itself" fits this situation perfectly.
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sober: showing no excessive or extreme qualities of fancy, emotion, or prejudice
Thanks for sharing, Ruhig. It is true we tend to build things up in our mind to make them bigger, badder & uglier than they really are. It sounds like you handled this very well.
I'm glad to know others have these internal therapy sessions too :)
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You can't change where you've been, you can only change where you're going
"the anticipation of death is worse than death itself" I like that. Thanks. Work is my life, I definitely know what you mean by the dreaded office. Everytime they call or pull me in, I review everything I've done and try to see if I could have been caught.
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In the end, everything will be alright. If it is not alright, it is not the end... Paulo coelho (also marigold hotel)
That's great to hear, Ruhig. I screwed up at work recently as well, but they forgave me same as you. I guess our higher power does amount to something. Have a better tomorrow, okay.
