Don't think I'd make it without MIP

grayduchess · Veteran Member

Don't think I'd make it without MIP

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Grayduchess, ...

I really hate to say this, but for me the disease was soooo powerful, I had to put my entire life 'on hold' where family and friends were concerned, in order to make 'recovery' THE NUMBER 1 priority in my life ... I tried doing it a hundred different other ways ... All I'm saying is the suggestions you'll see here pretty much all include the need to do a lot of 'face-to-face' meetings ... (preferably, ... 90 - in - 90) ...

I pray you have the strength to continue to say no to alcohol til you can get better grounded in the program ... meetings, sponsor, working the steps, etc. ... (once we are 'well-grounded' and our 'spiritual fitness' is where it needs to be, then we'll have ample time for family ... more than when we were drinking, that's for sure ...)

MIP is great for sure, just try not lean on this site too much ... the action noted above is very much needed to assure recovery ...

God Bless,
Pappy

P.S. I'm not trying to be mean ... this disease is cunning, baffling, and powerful ... without help, it's too much for us ... (I failed many times before I got to where I am now)

justadrunk · MIP Old Timer

You CAN do this!

grayduchess · Veteran Member

No worries, Pappy. It would never have occurred to me you were being mean. You call 'em as you see 'em and I like that. I can respect that and I feel I can trust that. Keep shooting straight from the hip biggrin I don't need flowery phrases right now. I need reality. So please feel free to continue wrapping your knuckles on my head with no apologies!

Thanks, Tasha! Those pats on the shoulder help too!

Jerry F · MIP Old Timer

Aloha Duchess...Tasha is right cause if I can so can you. I also relate to Pap's share...my former sponsor told me I had to get away from all things alcohol and I did and it included a wife I drank with and started to even use with. At times I miss them yet I've never missed it...know what I mean? I was soooo program involved and living one day at a time I missed and never brought up anniversaries so I got my first chip at 16 years and horrors!! heard the disease tell me "you can leave now...you're cured!!". Fortunately there were some people in the room who I identified with who were there to get and stay sober and one who told me to "Keep coming back!!" I got pissed and sat back down again and never had that frightful thought suggestion again. MIP for me is a daily read. I am grateful for the fellowship here and the consequences of it. Stick with us...we are all in support of your sobriety and recovery program. ((((hugs)))) smile

pinkchip · MIP Old Timer

Were herer for you! There's a good batch of regulars here :) You got good suggestions above. Just keep an open mind. I do see you have much of what it takes to make this work. You are pretty openminded and willing... It's not going to be easy but it's so much better than continuing on in an alcholic death spiral.

Mike B. · MIP Old Timer

Welcome Tina! Picking up the keyboard is better than a drink. I hope you're able to get to a meeting soon. In the meantime; writing here, pray, reading AA literature and a few phone calls may be helpful. wink

grayduchess · Veteran Member

Thanks, Mark and Mike. Did hit a meeting this morning. It actually left me unsettled but that's another post...

The phone call thing... the ladies all got together and wrote their numbers down on a meeting schedule for me at my 2nd meeting. I'm not sure I get it, the etiquette of the whole thing. I mean, am I supposed to just randomly pick one of those numbers and try to strike up a friendship? Should I be asking these questions of one of those women? Am I suppose to use those numbers as a sort of helpline? Like yesterday when I came here to get some strength should I have called someone?

I don't get a lot of this, really. What's a sponsor? Do I need one? How would you get/pick one? Do you have to have a certain amount of clean time before you ask for a sponsor? I've heard them say at the meetings you have to have 90 days clean in order to join a home group. Does it work like that for sponsors?

Tina

Mike B. · MIP Old Timer

Glad you were able to make a meeting Tina! The list of numbers is your life line in early sobriety. Your fellowship. Those ladies want to be called so they can stay sober. You're actually helping them by calling. That's how The Program works. One Alcoholic talking to another. It was important for me early on and today as a matter of fact to stay in touch with sober folks. Over time some of them will become friends. True friends.

A Sponsor is someone who's been through The 12 Steps and can take you through them. They should've a Sponsor who has a Sponsor and so on......... I call it a Sponsor line. I picked someone who had what I wanted. A sense of peace, purpose and happiness. He spoke at meetings and lived The Program outside of meetings. Sorta of walked the talked if you will. He also had a long line of Sponsee's who were doing very well in life. I wanted to be part of that. I now am...

Our task once we go through The 12 Steps: Once we have the Spiritual Awakening as a results of working the 12 Steps, we carry The Message to other Alcoholics. This complete's the AA triangle. Unity, Service and Recovery. I hope this helps.

Stepchild · MIP Old Timer

Here are couple sites worth looking at Tina.....One deals with meetings for newcomers and touches some on sponsorship...The othere is the AA pamphlet on sponsorship...They're both worth a read. As far as calling those numbers you have...I called two a day...Just to say hello and that I was new and I had their number from the list...And I looked forward to seeing them at upcoming meetings...That's all...They were usually thrilled I called and chatted a bit...I did become good friends with a lot of them. The idea is to get used to using the phone....Dial it...Don't file it...It could be the difference between you picking up a drink...Or picking up the phone. Enjoy the sites.

http://www.bma-wellness.com/papers/First_AA_Meeting.html

http://www.aa.org/catalog.cfm?origpage=161&product=17

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

You're doin' great Duchess, ... ... and ditto on what Mike B. and Stepchild said ... I'd recommend you go ahead and call everyone on your phone list now ... tell them you just wanted to be sure that you had a good number and that you thank them for being there for you ... It's a good 'ice breaker' to becoming lifelong friends ...

Pappy

Mr_David · MIP Old Timer

Same here Tina. Keep that momentum going.

vixen · MIP Old Timer

Keep hitting those meetings, Tina. That and working the steps will be the solid rock your sobriety stands on. Coming here is icing on the cake. It is really great icing too. :)

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Tina Marie, ... ... ...

Gonna say it again ... ... ... :

I'd recommend you go ahead and call everyone on your phone list now ... tell them you just wanted to be sure that you had a good number and that you thank them for being there for you ... It's a good 'ice breaker' to becoming lifelong friends ...

This will make the phone a lot lighter the next time you need to pick it up to call someone ... trust me ...

Pappy

-- Edited by Pythonpappy on Tuesday 17th of July 2012 07:34:27 PM

grayduchess · Veteran Member

Fighting my tendencies to withdraw inside myself right now. I'm feeling a lot of negative feelings today. Anger, depression, NONacceptance... For the last 24 hours or so, really. I can't yet bring myself to talk to anybody and really don't want to. Right here is different... I can share without feeling like I'm putting myself out there. I can delete and pause and think about what I'm saying before I say it.

but... headin' for a meeting...

justadrunk · MIP Old Timer

I felt like this during my 90x90 meetings, I went to the same meeting every single day at noon. I saw mostly the same people every day. I forced myself to say at least a little bit about my day or myself, or just a quick thank you and something I was feeling every single day, so I could get over my extreme anxiety speaking in front of people. I balled my eyes out for the first two weeks. Even if I was talking about good things. People reassured me that it was okay, and they did the same thing.

I said stupid stuff, I offended people, I broke traditions, and I cried. It was ALL ABOUT ME. I was truly incapable of thinking of others for a while. People offended me, I swore I would never go back and see Mrs. "B$%&*" - and then I realized, nothing - and no one - would stand in my way. I went back no matter what, realizing - I wasn't going to stand in my own way either anymore. It was time to stop kicking my own ass... and do something different.

After about 2 months, I FINALLY started to feel calm when it was my turn to speak. I could say what I was thinking. I wasn't shaking, I wasn't having a mini anxiety attack, I wasn't only thinking about what I was going to say up until it was my turn. I could finally listen to what was being said and participate.

Still - at almost 4 months now, I am VERY nervous to speak at any other meeting that I only go to once per week. I don't have any friends yet, and I mostly dash in and out. Having the home group - and this group here at MIP has been my rock.

This board has saved me from myself when I'm feeling like you are... I can think things through - you hit it right on. Beyond that - prayer. Now I get to talk to a sponsor sometimes too... but that's another story : )

Thanks for reaching out to us and posting - it will get better Tina - if you work for it.

justadrunk · MIP Old Timer

Wow - that's a great idea Pappy! Why didn't I think of that!!!!! I am going to be doing this TONIGHT! Thanks!

grayduchess · Veteran Member

Pythonpappy wrote:
Tina Marie, ... ... ...

Gonna say it again ... ... ... :

I'd recommend you go ahead and call everyone on your phone list now ... tell them you just wanted to be sure that you had a good number and that you thank them for being there for you ... It's a good 'ice breaker' to becoming lifelong friends ...

This will make the phone a lot lighter the next time you need to pick it up to call someone ... trust me ...

Pappy

-- Edited by Pythonpappy on Tuesday 17th of July 2012 07:34:27 PM

"Okaaaaay, Pappy" she said, while picking at an invisible piece of lint on her shirt.....

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Ya know, ... ... ... It's not like walking a gauntlet or anything ... it's just a call to a friend ... they aren't going to come over and beat you or nothun' ...

It might truly amaze you just how much others want to hear from you ... (if only to say hello ...)

Pappy