That's a good start...Everybody is nervous going to their first meeting....Terrified is probably a better word. Now you know what to expect....It's not that bad and if you don't feel like talking...Just listen...It would be good for you if you could get as many meetings in as you can...And try not to drink today....Take it one day...One hour if you have to...At a time....Myself...I committed to doing 90 meetings in 90 days...And that payed off for me...Found a meeting I liked and made it my homegroup...A good way to get connected and see the same people everyday...And find a sponsor....If you are willing to keep trying till you get it right...That's wonderful....And that good feeling of sorts that you had...That you couldn't put a name too....I had that also...That's called hope. Nice job on your first meeting!!

Thanks guys, your encouragement really helps!

Tina

It's good that you went to the meeting. If you go to enough it will ruin your drinking.

Keep going to meetings until you make the connection. That's what my first sponsor used to say before his untimely death. I remember trying so hard in the beginning, but failing so miserably each and every time. I guess I had to surrender first before I saw any lasting results. So hang in there Tina and keep you head above water, for now. One day you'll make the connection just like us. We promise...

Good for you. Well, except maybe the beer bit but keep going to the meetings and keep reading the book and you'll get there. It'll work if you work it.

:)

Thanks, Deb (I hope you don't mind the short version of your name)

Oddly enough, Stepchild, I think I was the one who was there for a reason other than my own. She thanked me for being there and told me I helped her get her mind off her daughter who is dying due to the disease

-- Edited by grayduchess on Sunday 15th of July 2012 08:01:22 PM

Sounds terrific!  Also just read you picked up a Grapevine as well, awesome!  So happy for you, Tina!

Very happy you were brave enough to go - and go back again even after drinking - very good indeed! I just did 90 meetings in 90 days, and also posted here each day... it was a good thing for me : )

grayduchess wrote:

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Thanks again, Tasha. I was thinking about the 90 in 90 thing earlier and wondering how important that is. I'll have to do some reading up on that. Judging from how I"m feeling today (off center, not as strong, not as peaceful) it would seem that would be a good way to start into the program.

---

 To me the meetings are like medicine. I always feel better after going - clearer, less (or not at all) anxious about what is going on around me, and lighter inside.

My thought is that the sicker you are the more medicine you are going to need, and the first 90 days is when you are going to be sicker than any other time in recovery.

My sponsor once told me that if I put 1/2 as much time into AA as I did into drinking then I would get sober, no ifs, no buts.

Frodo wrote:

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My sponsor once told me that if I put 1/2 as much time into AA as I did into drinking then I would get sober, no ifs, no buts.

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That's how Dr. Bob ends his story...And he used never fails...Rather than Rarely fails.

It never fails, if you go about it with one half the zeal you have been in the habit of showing when you were getting another drink.
    Your Heavenly Father will never let you down!

grayduchess wrote:

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I was thinking about the 90 in 90 thing earlier and wondering how important that is. I'll have to do some reading up on that.

---

 I'm glad you have been going to meetings, grayduchess. That's a great start. I hope and pray that you continue to do so.

And, yes, do some research on the 90 meetings in 90 days. Generally speaking, meetings are a good thing and the more you go to in early sobriety, the better.

But people in AA have conflicting views on the 90/90 concept. I wouldn't prescribe/suggest 90/90 for anyone I sponsor. The reason? Because it's so difficult to do. (Although some people report going to 100, 150 and more(!) meetings in 90 days.) I wouldn't want to set up a newcomer to fail at such a visible goal.

A sponsor is a good source to talk over the 90/90 concept with, because that person can be very attuned to your personal situation with regard to:

a) your schedule, responsibilities, and physical capabilities.

b) what it might take for you to make a significant personal committent to recovery.

I made 72 meetings in my first ninety days in recovery. I heard some people talking about/suggesting/strongly suggesting the 90/90 and felt kind of bad when, due to my schedule, responsibilities and physical condition at the time, I realized I wasn't going to make 90. I worried about it and thought that I was failing to work the program of AA. I mulled over the possibility that if I didn't make the 90 meetings that I would be likely to drink. That frightened me. I even wondered if after my 72 meetings in 90 days that I would drink on Day 91. Or 92. Or 93 . . .

But I didn't drink. 

My sense, after many years in AA, is that--for the group of newcomers to AA --there likely is no significant difference in success probability that can be achieved soley by doing 90/90. It can, however, be meaningful and even critical--for particular individuals.

My sense is that the biggest success factor in early sobriety is doing Step 1 thoroughly and completely.

Most people in AA do not do 90 meetings in their first 90 days of sobriety.

Keep going to meetings, grayduchess, and things will get better. The program of AA works for many, many people. It has worked for me.

Tanin

P.S.  For many years I felt a little guilty(or unqualified) for not doing 90 meetings in my first 90 days. Whenever somone mentioned in a meeting that they had done so, I cringed a little inside. Then a few years ago, I looked back on my calendar and realized that I had done it! I've since done it again several times.

 

Yes, the 90x90 is a suggestion of "make as many as you possibly can". I might have done a different number - I didn't actually count. Some days I went to 2 or even 3 meetings a day (if I had a babysitter available for that much), and there were a couple times I didn't go for 3 days in a row. But - I had quit my jobs, and everything else in life I was doing. I was treating it as life or death, because it was. I was killing myself. I needed to stop everything as if I had just broke every bone in my body and was only capable of healing... nothing else.

That isn't an option for everyone I realize, I was very fortunate to have a husband to support me. But there are ways of taking medical leave and such. If it would have went on any longer for me, I probably would have HAD to stop everything because I would have been in prison... or dead.

In all reality, the 90x90 thing is about getting used to meetings as a part of your lifestyle, getting comfortable, getting to know people, more chances to meet a sponsor... work the steps etc.

I proved to myself that I really wanted it - and I probably went to more like 125 meetings in that 90 days, but the number doesn't really matter. I went every single chance I could. I discovered at which meetings I belonged. I went when I didn't want to go, I went unless there was just absolutely no way I could - just like with my drinking.

Now I know which groups have a personality that suits me. I know where to find the people I really really admire and want to listen to. I know what the meetings my sponsor goes to are like... and I realize how important it is to show up to some meetings she goes to.

I'm still learning, and I'm getting better at learning... I know what works for me, and what doesn't, and so does my sponsor. That's the best part.