I'm so sorry dear to hear about your situation. I only hope it gets better, soon. Some people don't grieve all that well, so it may be in this person's best interest to talk candidly about their situation. There are many qualified experts in the recovery field that can help. If traditional outlets like through A.A. or Al-Anon don't seem to help, may I then suggest a more practical solution instead. Generalized assistance programs can help, including mental health advocates or grief counselors. They can intervene if need be. There's a department of mental hygiene in most areas as well, so you may want to inquire about those services too. Rehabs do work, but, again, this person might need some additional resources. So get educated and then pray. Our prayers do go out to you dear and the other person. It's a terrible disease, for everyone involved, so be careful and proceed with caution. I just hope this person finds her way home, like we have. I certainly hope so, starting today.
-- Edited by Mr_David on Thursday 12th of July 2012 12:32:03 AM
Hi, I am the daughter of alcoholics, one dead and one coming up on 30 years in recovery. I have dodged the bullet that is this disease. I have a large family, many of whom work in recovery. Currently we are facing a serious health crisis for one of my siblings. Another family member has responded to this crisis by drinking. A lot. She has never been in recovery and I am one of the few people that think she should work the program. Her son has one year in recovery and is living with her. I am afraid for him. Young adult recovery is so fragile and to be living in the same house as an active, in denial alcoholic...who is supposed to be supporting his recovery just strikes me as a disaster waiting to happen. Sadly we aren't particularly close. What can I do to support him? He also lives out of town. With "my" alcoholic doing so well... I am out of practice! I am willing to be frank with his drinking parent, I am willing to do anything. I feel very alone, my usual support network is traumatized by other issues and do not see his mother as having a problem. Any feed back from this group would be gratefully accepted. Thank you.
Susan
Welcome to MIP Susan...I also come from a family with quite a history of alcoholism....You were blessed to be spared that.... I guess you know....That telling an alcoholic they need to stop is futile.....While offering the son support...Even if that's just a phone call to let him him know he can call you to talk anytime he needs too....The decision ito seek recovery is going to have to come from here. You could try a family intervention..Talk with some of your family members in recovery about that. I'm curious if you use Al Anon for your own recovery?....If not...That's something you should look into....My prayers are with you and your family. I hope she does the next right thing.
Prayers sent your way Susan. Stepchild has a good suggestion- offer help but just go in with no expectations that it will be well received. All we can do is make the offer. The results are not in our hands. Then we need to detach with love. Knowing the outcome is not our responsbility or in our hands.
In dealing with Alcoholism, sometimes the best support is to get out of the way and take care of the only person we can- us. We certainly don't want to get in the way of letting people fall down and feel the real pain of this diesase. For me, I had to feel all the pain I did before I received the gift of desperation to move toward change. No one could've done that for me. But, they certainly could've gotten in the way, which they did for awhile.
In taken care of ourselves, when the pain others feel sinks in and they look to the healthy for help, we'll be available to assist.
Welcome Susan, ... ... ... With the son having just one year of recovery, this is a difficult situation for him to be exposed to ... He may, however, be able to live with the situation just fine if he is, and stays, in 'fit' spiritual condition ... but the daily exposure to his mom's addiction could easily wear him down if he doesn't remain active in his recovery program ... ... ...
The only advice I could recommend would be the obvious, ... get him out of that house and into a different environment until such time he has a solid recovery record ... might not hurt to call him up and have him over for a little talk ... get to know him and where he stands with his current situation ... You may be worrying about nothing!!!
God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
