Welcome Renski to "MIP. There's some good information in the previous two posts, so I suggest you read them again in their entirety.
I'm familiar with relapses as well, so I know the routine. But what I won't do is cast an even uglier shadow on an already existing problem. You were sober for 14 years, and in that time you've probably experience some quality sobriety. So my suggestion is quite simple actually: Get back on board and start the sober routine, again. It's the only remedy that seems to work, so work for it. Welcome again to this wonderful forum. It's been my life preserver for some time now, and hopefully yours too.
~God Bless~
-- Edited by Mr_David on Monday 9th of July 2012 02:36:36 AM
Hi everyone..so weird but happy to find this forum.Iam sitting on my boat as I type this. Iam no stranger to AA..I was 19 years old when i walked through the doors...I worked hard , attented meetings every day had great sponsers and did all the steps...was sober for 14 years!.::FF met ,married non AA man (social drinker) stopped going to meetings ,picked up a drink ..and now have been drinking for 12 years...my drinking has been getting progressivly worse ..i have a wonderful husband,and 2 amazing sons.Right now I am afraid because I dont want to live this way anymore, but even more afraid that I cant stop...and if i cant stop drInking.....i feel I have only one option ..Thankyou for listening
As you know WE always suggest making a meeting,getting a sponsor ,getting into the solution ,our steps and giving back to the best of our ability.It is true that relapses do not usually happen all of a sudden,somewhere along the line we let down our our program.It is never too late to start again,1st step,I hear you here,you are feeling powerless over alcohol(your drinking) and your life is most likely unmamageable(afraid you can't quit,causing problems,affecting the family etc??)
It is time to take a real close look inside again.You say you did the steps,but did you actually put the application into the attitudes and behaviors of all your affairs.WE remember that our illness is a physical,mental and spiritual problem that mainfests itself in all areas of our lives.Complaceny does become the enemy and when we are complacent for too long the recovery process ceases.WE stay in sobriety ,a day at a time,working our own individual programs,something Im sure you are aware of.It is up to you to decide to do 'whatever it takes " to keep you away from that next one,a death sentence for us.I will lift you up in prayer and can only suggest you seek your Higher Power for the guidance to get you back on the journey of LIFE.WE drink because we are alcoholic,but we can stop and more importantly "stay stopped" you know the drill...C'mon back in from the storm,some of us don't always get that opportunity again,I buried my best friend and wasn't far behind him..Let us know how its going and how you 1st meeting in awhile went :) Peace
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
welcome aboard! glad you found us, and welcome to Miracles in Progress. i have been where you are. i have 2 amazing sons, also. but it was my grandbaby that put the clinch on me wanting to get sober. keep coming back, there is experience, strength and hope in these rooms. all i have to do is want to quit drinking and AA has the steps for me to follow. drink sodas, water, coffee, tea, fruit juice, milkshakes really helped me get through the cravings, and find a meeting. we are here for you, but, face to face meetings are highly suggested. i love you, sister, you can do this if you are willing to do whatever it takes to get sober (make your sobriety a priority) one day at a time. jj/sheila
I'm fairly new to AA....A little over a year ago I didn't even know what it was. It sounds like you know what to do enough that it kept you sober for 14 years. I hope and pray you come back and do what you did then. Learn from your time out there and be grateful that you are looking at your options. From what I've heard...Many people don't. Glad you found the site.
Hello Renee and welcome to the board. This is kind of a "drive by" post, as I'm on lunch and didn't have time to read the other replies. At some point you changed your mind about being an alcoholic and apparently you've be getting away with it for 12 years. On top of that, you're very comfortably in a relationship / living arrangement. So probably some sloppy or embarrassing behavior has gotten your attention and likely some of those around you have noticed too. Why is he saying this, you might ask? Well, as you know, alcoholics usually have to have lost a lot or have an incredible amount of impending doom to face their denial. From your description, you're a "high bottom drunk" at this point, and have a lot going for you. Imo, this is hardest position to get sober from. It's very easy for the person's denial to say "I'm ok, I'm married, have a nice home, loving family, no money problems, DUIs etc... How could I be an alcoholic?" On the positive side, You've got a lot to lose. A written searching and fearless 1st step listing, severe consequences should your disease progress, would be my suggestion.
-- Edited by StPeteDean on Monday 9th of July 2012 11:28:45 AM
WOW...you're not kidding that there's some good information in these previous posts!
Renski, I know all too well (and recently too) that feeling of (and I'm quoting you): "Right now I am afraid because I dont want to live this way anymore, but even more afraid that I cant stop...and if i cant stop drInking.....i feel I have only one option".
That's the Gift of Desparation, and thank heavens you've got it. Trust me, it's not "weird", as you said, that you found this forum as you sat on your boat. This is a insideous, progressive disease. Just because you were alcohol free for 14 years, doesn't mean you were cured from alcoholism.
Mikef has said it best in his post. And it is the disease telling you (in your own voice) that right now you're stuck between can't live and can't die. But it's a lie. You CAN!
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~Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will~
Thanks for posting. I also got sober in my teens and got married to a social drinker. I've continued to attend meetings and work the steps and have been sober and married for a long time now. We all need to hear that we are not cured, but only have a daily repreve from our disease.
You know what you need to do, do do it.
Hi Renee, ... ... ... Welcome to MIP ... ... Yep, been where you are too ... Decided to end it all ... Somehow, and for some reason(just like you coming to this site to put your thoughts out here), God pulled the gun I had in my mouth away and made me reconsider my position ... ... ... Hummmm?, I chose life ... .... .... I found out I could, in fact, enjoy life without alcohol ... The AA program is my life now ... and a wonderful life it is ...
Stick around and go to some meetings ... ASAP ... You don't have to live in pain unless it's your choice ...
Love Ya and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Of course you can stop. You have to be willing to go to any lengths to do it though. If you aren't willing to do AA full force, you will just be staring up at a mountain (which is alcoholism) and have no idea how to start climbing.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
