Congrats Colleen on your 51 days. It's something 'you' should be proud of, for sure.

I had a hard time making 'adjustments' in the very beginning, kind of like most people. I also had trouble with the shakes early on, same as you -even though I had problems with them while I was still drinking. I remember lapping my last drink like a dog, that's how bad the shakes were. No shakes today, though -it took me over 2 months before they went away entirely, so give it some time.

I felt tired at first, mainly due to exhaustion, but I wasn't overly tired all the time. I just needed some rest, that's all, and some time to myself as well. I try to balance my time more effectively today and do so without any 'real' complications.

I was also very obsessive compulsive most of my life -not so much today. I had to let go of things rather than micromanaging them like I did. It's put my mind at 'ease' much better than before, which has allowed me to focus on recovery instead.

I've been more health conscious today than in my 30+ years of drinking. I still have an ice cream addiction, though -no comments Pappy, but its progress today not perfection, right. I'm also taking vitamins on a regular basis and I try to eat more whole foods today like grains and other essentials. It seems to be working, though, so I'll continue.

I also get regular checkups with my doctor. I was very keen on 'staying away' because I was scared what they might find. Yes, I had some liver problems early on -he recommended Milk Thistle- and yes, I had numerous cists on my body -he recommended some powerful anti-oxidants- but I don't have any remorse nowadays, thanks to my doctor. If you haven't found a good doctor yet, I suggest you do. It's been a lifesaver for me. 

With that being said, I leave the rest for you to decide. I'll keep making strides in my new way of life, same as you, because the benefits for me have been amazing. Life will still exist and the problems will never go away, but you've chosen a better path for yourself Colleen, so keep that momentum going, okay. The rest will work out over time, we promise.   

PAWS

Post Acute Withdrawl (PAW)

Exerpted From "Staying Sober" By: Terence T. Gorski

with additions by: Lee Jamison

When most people think about alcoholism or drug addiction they think only of the alcohol/drug-based symptoms and forget about the sobriety-based symptoms. Yet it is the sobriety-based symptoms, especially post acute withdrawal, that make sobriety so difficult. The presence of brain dysfunction has been documented in 75-95% of the recovering alcoholics/addicts tested. Recent research indicates that the symptoms of post-acute withdrawal associated with alcohol/drug-related damage to the brain may contribute to many cases of relapse.

Post-acute withdrawal means symptoms that occur after acute withdrawal. Post means after. And syndrome means a group of symptoms.

Syndrome: A group of symptoms

Post: After

Post Acute Withdrawal: Symptoms that occur after acute withdrawal.

Post-acute withdrawal is a group of symptoms of addictive disease that occur as a result of abstinence from addictive chemicals. In the alcoholic/addict these symptoms appear seven to fourteen days into abstinence, after stabilization from the acute withdrawal.

Post-acute withdrawal is a bio-psycho-social syndrome. It results from the combination of damage to the nervous system caused by alcohol or drugs and the psychosocial stress of coping with life without drugs or alcohol.

Recovery causes a great deal of stress. Many chemically dependent people never learn to manage stress without alcohol and drug use. The stress aggravates the brain dysfunction and makes the symptoms worse. The severity of PAW depends upon two things: the severity of the brain dysfunction caused by the addiction and the amount of psychosocial stress experienced in recovery.

The symptoms of PAW typically grow to peak intensity over three to six months after abstinence begins. The damage is usually reversible, meaning the major symptoms go away in time if proper treatment is received. So there is no need to fear. With proper treatment and effective sober living, it is possible to learn to live normally in spite of the impairments. But the adjustment does not occur rapidly. Recovery from the nervous system damage usually required from six to 24 months with the assistance of a healthy recovery program. Recent research is showing that for some recovering people the symptoms of PAW often occur at regular "moon cycle" intervals and without apparent outside stressors. Often those 30, 60, 90, 120, 180, and 1 & 2-year sobriety dates seem to be "triggering" times for PAW symptoms to increase. People recovering from long term opiate and stimulant use often have PAW symptoms for no apparent reason for up to 10 years after they have stopped using their drug of choice. Often PAW symptoms appear to come and go without apparent reason and without any specific pattern. Individuals who intend to have consistent long-term recovery must learn to recognize these symptoms and learn how to manage them.

 SYMPTOMS OF POST ACUTE WITHDRAWAL

How do you know if you have PAW? The most identifiable characteristic is the inability to solve usually simple problems. There are six major types of PAW symptoms that contribute to this They are the inability to think clearly, memory problems, emotional overreactions and numbness, sleep disturbances, physical coordination problems, and general problems in managing stress. The inability to solve usually simple problems because of any or all of these symptoms leads to diminished self-esteem. A person often feels incompetent, embarrassed, and not okay about themselves. Diminished self-esteem and the fear of failure interfere with productive and challenging living. Lets take a look at some of the PAW symptoms that contribute to the inability to solve usually simple problems.

TYPES OF PAW SYMPTOMS

1.   Inability to think clearly

2.   Memory problems

3.   Emotional overreactions or numbness

4.   Sleep disturbances

5.   Physical coordination problems

6.   Stress sensitivity

Inability to Think Clearly

There are several thought disorders experienced by a recovering person when PAW is activated. Intelligence is not affected. It is as if the brain is malfunctioning sometimes. Sometimes it works all right. Sometimes is does not.

One of the most common symptoms is the inability to concentrate for more than a few minutes. Impairment of abstract reasoning is another common symptom of post acute withdrawal. An abstraction is a nonconcrete idea or concept, something that you cannot hold in your hand, take a picture of, or put in a box. Concentration is more of a problem when abstract concepts are involved.

Another common symptom is rigid and repetitive thinking. The same thoughts may go around and around in your head and you are unable to break through this circular thinking in order to put thoughts together in an orderly way.

Memory Problems

Short-term memory problems are very common in the recovering person. You may hear something and understand it, but within 20 minutes you forget it. Someone will give an instruction and you know exactly what to do. But you may walk away, and that memory becomes clouded or may disappear completely.

Sometimes during stressful periods it may also be difficult to remember significant events from the past. These memories are not gone; the person may be able to remember them easily at other times. The person realizes that he or she knows but just cannot recall it while experiencing the stress.

For an alcoholic named Jan this created a problem in AA. I have trouble presenting my story at AA, she said. I have trouble remembering events that happened before my drinking days, let alone things that happened while I was drinking. So to put my life in story form is hard for me. I dont remember all of my story. I do remember that some things occurred, but I get confused about when they happened. Many times I can remember things when I am alone with no pressure that I cant remember under the stress I feel when I talk at meetings.

Because of memory problems in recovery, it may be difficult to learn new skills and information. You learn skills by acquiring knowledge and building upon what you have already learned. Memory problems make it difficult to build upon what you have already learned.

Emotional Overreaction or Numbness

Persons with emotional problems in sobriety tend to overreact. When things happen that require two units of emotional reaction, they react with ten. It is like holding the times key down on a calculator. You may find yourself becoming angry over what may later seem a trivial matter. You may feel more anxious or excited than you have reason to be. When this overreaction puts more stress on the nervous systems than it can handle, there is an emotional shutdown. If this happens to you, you become emotionally numb, unable to feel anything. And even when you know you should feel something, you do not. You may swing from one mood to another without knowing why.

Sleep Problems

Most recovering people experience sleep problems. Some of them are temporary; some are lifelong. The most common in early recovery is unusual or disturbing dreams. These dreams may interfere with your ability to get the sleep you need. But they become less frequent and less severe as the length of abstinence increases.

Mike was a periodic drinker. Periods of sobriety usually lasted for several months. During the time he was not drinking, he had dreams that severely disrupted his sleep. His wife said, I never realized the nightmares Mike was having had anything to do with drinking or not drinking. He would frequently jump out of bed, screaming in terror. When I was able to awaken him and calm him, he couldnt remember what he dreamed, but he remembered being afraid. After a year of sobriety, he seldom had the dreams. Only then did I realize that they were related to his drinking.

Even if you do not experience unusual dreams, you may have difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep. You may experience changes in your sleep patterns; sleeping for long periods at a time or sleeping at different times of the day. Some of these patterns may never return to normal, but most people are able to adjust to them without severe difficulty.

Physical Coordination Problems

A very serious PAW problem though perhaps not as common as the others is difficulty with physical coordination. Common symptoms are dizziness, trouble with balance, problems with coordination between hand and eye, and slow reflexes. These result in clumsiness and accident proneness. This is how the term dry drunk came into being. When alcoholics appeared drunk because of stumbling and clumsiness, but had not been drinking, they were said to be dry drunk. They had the appearance of being intoxicated without drinking.

Stress Sensitivity

Difficulty in managing stress is the most confusing and aggravating part of post acute withdrawal. Recovering people are often unable to distinguish between low-stress situations and high-stress situations. They may not recognize low levels of stress, and then overreact when they become aware of the stress they are experiencing. They may feel stressful in situations that ordinarily would not bother them, and in addition, when they react they overreact. They may do things that are completely inappropriate for the situation. So much so that later on they may wonder why they reacted so strongly.

To complicate things further, all of the other symptoms of post acute withdrawal become worse during times of high stress. There is a direct relationship between elevated stress and the severity of PAW. Each intensifies the other. The intensity of PAW creates stress, and stress aggravates PAW and makes it more severe. At times of low stress, the symptoms get better and may even go away. When you are well rested and relaxed, eating properly, and getting along well with people, you will probably appear to be fine. Your thoughts will be clear, your emotions appropriate, and your memory all right. At times of high stress, however, your brain may suddenly shut down. You may begin experiencing thinking problems, inappropriate emotions, and memory problems.

If your thoughts become confused and chaotic or you are unable to concentrate, if you have trouble remembering or solving problems, you may feel you are going crazy. You are not. These symptoms are a normal part of your recovery and are reversible with abstinence and a recovery program. If you do not understand this you may develop shame and guilt which leads to diminished self-esteem and isolation which creates stress and increased PAW. It is a painful cycle that is unnecessary if you understand what is happening. As your body and your mind begin to heal and as you learn ways to reduce the risk of post acute withdrawal symptoms, productive and meaningful living is possible in spite of the very real possibility of recurring symptoms.

Recovery from the damage caused by the addiction requires abstinence. The damage itself interferes with the ability to abstain. This is the paradox of recovery. Use of alcohol or other drugs can temporarily reverse the symptoms of the damage. If alcoholics drink, or drug addicts use, they will think clearly for a little while, be able to have normal feelings and emotions for a little while, feel healthy for a little while. Unfortunately, the disease will eventually trigger a loss of control that will again destroy these functions.

For this reason it is necessary to do everything possible to reduce the symptoms of PAW. It is necessary to understand PAW and to recognize that you are not incompetent and you are not going crazy. Because post acute withdrawal symptoms are stress sensitive, you need to learn about PAW and methods of control when stress levels are low in order to be able to prevent the symptoms or to manage them when they occur.

Here are some stories about some people who experienced post acute withdrawal and how it affected their lives without their being aware of what was happening to them.

Ray is a young, single, recovering alcoholic. He stopped drinking when he was 22 and was very excited about the possibilities that lay ahead of him in his sobriety. After his initial treatment he began restructuring his life around recovery. He was eager to make up for the time he had wasted during his years of drinking. He got a full-time job, enrolled in college, and committed himself to doing some volunteer work.

After a while he began to notice that he was having trouble with his schoolwork. He found himself confused about things that had at one time been easy for him to follow and figure out. He was having trouble taking care of his financial responsibilities, and when people that cared about him tried to help him figure things out, he felt panicky and overwhelmed. Thoughts rushed through his head, and he was unable to put them in order. He says, When someone in the financial aid office at the college started talking to me about grant money, loan money, interest, and forms that needed to be filled out, I was so confused and overwhelmed that I couldnt hear what she was saying. Everything was going around in my head at once and I had to get away. I got up and left without filling out the financial aid form.

In desperation, and out of fear that he would drink, Ray ran. Instead of evaluating what things in his life he needed to change and what he needed to hold onto, he gave up everything. He quit his job, dropped out of school, and stopped doing volunteer work. He gave up his apartment and moved in with a relative until he could get himself together. These actions created additional problems with which he found it increasingly difficult to cope. Until he went to a counselor and learned some ways to manage his symptoms, Ray thought he was having a nervous breakdown, when in fact what he was experiencing was PAW.

worth going to the link and reading all three parts, it helps explain why AA is actually pretty sound medically speaking

Funny how many of our threads here on this site are ending in talk of ice cream ... LOL

The problems you brought up David are easy to solve ... Trouble seeing your feet, OR mr. Happy??? ... that's why they make mirrors ... LMAO ... Ya know? ... some women like their men 'plump' ... don't know why, but I've heard that ... ?

Anyway, at least I can wake up in the morning and reflect on enjoying the night before ... it might be getting a little harder to roll outta bed, but at least i don't have a 'hang-over' ... At least 'Ice Cream' doesn't cause 'blackouts' ... Ha, I just had an interesting thought ... at my age, I'd almost sooner leave this world with a bowl of ice cream in my hands than to go out messin' with the little woman, if you know what I mean ... LOL

Sorry Mr David ... or should say, Your Highnnyness, blame me all you care to ... LOL ... I can take it now ... Oh, and be careful holding your gut in, you might pop something ... it might not be a pretty sight ... You DO know what a 'blivet' is right??? .... that's when you put ten pounds of sh_t in a five pound bag ... when it pops ... stand back, it gonna get messy ...

Love Ya man,
Pappy

P.S.   It's that time Mr David ... in the south, we say 'go getcha some' ....

HI Col,

Glad to see you are coming up on the 60 day mark!  I had the hangover feeling early on but my smoking had picked up to 2 packs a day plus a lot of 2d hand smoke at the meetings in that era was the culprit.

I know you are working 2 jobs, so try to eat healthy and get as much sleep and recoup time as possible, just like any illness this can help speed recovery.

The longer I'm in AA,  I hate to say,  the more I become a BB thumper.  I'm not sure I would read to much into the Dr Drew stuff.  I have found the below from the "Family After" to be pretty accurate.

Now about health: A body badly burned by alcohol does not often recover overnight nor do twisted thinking and depression vanish in a twinkling. We are convinced that a spiritual mode of living is a most powerful health restorative. We, who have recovered from serious drinking, are miracles of mental health. But we have seen remarkable transformations in our bodies. Hardly one of our crowd now shows any mark of dissipation.

But this does not mean that we disregard human health measures. God has abundantly supplied this world with fine doctors, psychologists, and practitioners of various kinds. Do not hesitate to take your health problems to such persons. Most of them give freely of themselves, that their fellows may enjoy sound minds and bodies. Try to remember that though God has wrought miracles among us, we should never belittle a good doctor or psychiatrist. Their services are often indispensable in treating a newcomer and in following his case afterward.

One of the many doctors who had the opportunity of reading this book in manuscript form told us that the use of sweets was often helpful, of course depending upon a doctor's advice. He thought all alcoholics

should constantly have chocolate available for its quick energy value at times of fatigue. He added that occasionally in the night a vague craving arose which would be satisfied by candy. Many of us have noticed a tendency to eat sweets and have found this practice beneficial.

A word about sex relations. Alcohol is so sexually stimulating to some men that they have over-indulged. Couples are occasionally dismayed to find that when drinking is stopped the man tends to be impotent. Unless the reason is understood, there may be an emotional upset. Some of us had this experience, only to enjoy, in a few months, a finer intimacy than ever. There should be no hesitancy in consulting a doctor or psychologist if the condition persists. We do not know of many cases where this difficulty lasted long.

OH ... MY ... GOD ...

Some how, Mr David found and posted his and my picture on this site ... ... ... (see above post) ... Damn!

I was really trying to stay anonymous, but now my cover is blown ... and you can see my 'pace-maker' thru the skin ... Oh and the top pic is exactly what a living 'blivet' is ...

Thanks Harobed, ... It helps!!! ... David and I just love bein' sober ... laughing heals a lot of past depression ... and also heals in many ways we don't even understand yet ... (it's really hard to feel bad, lonely, depressed, whatever ... when your sittin' here laughing your a__ off ... which I do a lot of ... )

The only other explanation for it is that ... ... ... are you sitting down??? ...

I only have two brain cells left, I lost one yesterday, and today the other one ran off to look for the first one ... ... ... Help!!!

Love Ya and God Bless,
Pappy

I've got my eyes on you two

LinBabaAgo-go wrote:

---

 Well one photo is of me, one is of my Father, I'll let you decide which is which.

 

2 things about my fathers photo, I suspect he doesn't have any clothes on.

 

He doesn't smile at anyone like that except beautiful women.

 

Conclusion: Even at 80 Dad is a -stud-

 

However, I'll take Clint eastwood for 500 Alex

 

Except when I make a goofy face, then I look like Elmer Fudd

 

 

-- Edited by LinBabaAgo-go on Sunday 8th of July 2012 11:28:58 PM

---

 LMAO LinBaba, ... ... ... TMI  r.e. your Dad ... ... AND I suspected as much about the pic ...  ... 

Thanks a lot, ... now I've got to go around a while and try and get the 'mental picture' you painted, out of my head ... ok, where'd I put that 'serenity prayer'? ... 

Hey Mr David, ... ... ... Colleen has a 'mean' streak for sure ... ... She gets to eat all the Ice Cream she wants without fear of the 'missing feet' syndrome ... then she rubs our noses in it ... LOL

David ... ... ... last nite's "Southern Butter Pecan" Ice Cream with some 'chocolate syrup' on it, was just heavenly ... ... ... I think my tongue had an orgasm and my butt sighed(might have been a fart, I don't know) ... Tonite is gonna be "Southern Praline" ... Can't wait ... ... ... ... ... huh ... ... ... why wait??? ....

Pappy

LMAO at LinBaba, ... you may want to follow his advice ... ... ... LinBaba took my two brain cells and threw them out the window ... give me a minute ... ... ... LOL ... ... ... LOL ... ... ... ... oh man, never thought I'd have this much fun on an AA site ... ... ... ... ... ... ... COLLEEN, ... I was going to suggest "Rocky Road" but it may have almonds ... ... ... and it IS rich .... ... ... ... ... ... and by organic and free of hormones, ... ... ... ... ... ... LOL ... ... ... LOL ... ... ... ... LOL ...do you mean does the farmer have to take the cow to dinner and heavy 'petting' before he's allowed to squeeze the ... uh ... uh ... uh .... you know, the uh ... awww, those things that he has to squeeze to get the milk and cream out ... (teets?) ... ... ...

I'm sorry, I kinda lost it here tonite ... I gotta go lay down now ...

Pappy

LinBaba, ... ... ... people who are as healthy as you are and who can eat like you do ... well .... they make me sick ... ... LOL

NOT ... just kidding ... I really do admire someone, especially at your age, who can do what you do ... and have the type physique that you have ... And I'm about to tell you something that'll get your attention, or should ... One of my closest friends in AA, sober 8 maybe ten years, is an avid cyclist ... he also does the triathlon for the 50+ age category ... and has done well for the past 3 years ... A few months ago, he had a big heart attack and nearly died before getting to the hospital ... they did a quad bypass and he's okay now ... but with his diet, like yours, and his exercise, no-one ever thought it would be him to get hit like this ... He's still active, BUT has really cut back ... he's about 55 now ...

I just want you to be SURE you go to a doctor regularly ... I don't care if you have the body of Atlas, you can be fooled into a false sense of 'well-being' very easily ... I had a heart attack(mild) just 3 months ago ... never even knew it, til I was in the ER being given oxygen and some meds ... ... ... Love Ya man, and I/we don't want to lose you ... Don't be too macho, okay?

God Bless,
Pappy