Could write this and have me thinking that he must have known me pre-sobriety cuz he just gave a perfect synopsis of what I used to be like. One of my AA friends put this as his facebook status. I thought it might be from one of our own books but apparently he wrote it himself.
"You leave havoc in your wake. You are not a sower of harmony but sow chaos in the lives of people who love you. And it happens so regularly, because you refuse to change. Your will destroys as you seek what you want. Because you want it so much. " How did this happen again?" is your mantra!" But you never quite answer your pained question. "If only everyone understood how much you want it, then they would bend to your will!" This is your cry for justice. Fear is your only companion. All other things have deserted you. But still you ask why. No one makes excuses for you anymore. You are lonely. Hope is a word. Faith means nothing to you. Why has God turned his back on you? Because you say, he doesn't exist. Where is the proof! Desperation is a gift but you don't see it....YET!"
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Wow, great stuff Mark. I guess, the more desperate we become the less desperate we feel. But maybe not just...yet. Thanks again for this, I can certainly relate...
