I just hit 30 days sober..literally like 1minute ago haha. For some reason this 30 day mark has been a focal point for me this past month. Like now it's real. I, Colleen, me.. Have lived a month of my life completely sober. This hasn't happened for over 20 years. 3 days without the comfort and protection of my old friend/worst enemy was torture, let alone 30. I simply couldn't comprehend life on a daily basis without booze. The concept boggled my mind. Well, here I am. The strange thing? Although my mind, emotions and body are all still going through a bit of turmoil, I LIKE myself better now. I can look in the mirror and not feel a deep loathing. Imagine that? I honestly did not believe i had the courage or strength to not drink. The very thought left me paralyzed with an indescrible fear. I also know that the past 30 days have not been my own doing. The people ive met in aa (here and elsewhere) have been invaluable and have shown me many wisdoms. God has definetly been with me and i say small prayers throughout every day. I know I've got a lot of work ahead of me in terms of pretty much every aspect of my life, but now that I'm letting God guide me somewhat (I must be in the midst of step 2 haha) I know that I can do this. I can indeed live my life, one simple day at a time, sober:) thanks guys for all the support and feedback. Reading all your stories and struggles have helped me tremendously, and will continue to. Today I'm very grateful for my newfound sobriety.
Congrats on the 30 days! I think that is the toughest milestone in AA, as you are trying to make it through the early days with so few tools.
Like you mentioned we put in the work and start to clean up ourselves and the past via the steps and we will begin to like ourselves. If we do the prior and stay spiritually fit, we will loose our desire for alcohol. That's how it works.
We can go to a event or walk down the Booze isle at the store and not consider drinking. Why would I want to destroy someone I now like and have worked hard to rebuild.
I really enjoy your contributions here at MIP.
__________________
Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
