I see from your bio that you are in search of a new way without being an alcoholic. Why have you adopted this approach? Do you hope that one day you will be able to drink like a gentleman?
That's the main problem with being an alcoholic of my type. We can never drink safely again. Having accepted that, by following the suggestions of Dean and Pappy above, along with a simple program of action, we can develop a new and infinitely more satisfying way of life. We realised that the idea we might one day enjoy our drinking was a delusion.
God bless, MikeH
-- Edited by Fyne Spirit on Wednesday 13th of June 2012 11:23:21 PM
I am at the beginng of my recovery and am struggling with being a dry drunk. I'm wondering if there is anyone out there who could give me some helpful sulitons to my recovery?
Welcome Major Tom, ... ... Lots and lots of meetings ... you do know this is life or death, right??? .... the solutions are discussed daily, many times a day, in every corner of the world ... meetings can be found literally anywhere ... just look it up on the computer ... easy!!!
God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Well said Mike H ... ... ... ... Very well said ... Hey Major Tom, we find it helpful to just concentrate on ONE Day at a time ... that's all anyone has anyway!!!
God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Howdy! I thought there was some elusive secret out there to being sober. It's not new since AA has been around since the 1930s but it was a new way of life for me that's for sure. A greatly improved way. I only act like a dry drunk (angry, judgmental, restless, irritable, discontent) if I don't go to meetings, call my sponsor, and try and live by the steps.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
You certainly sound like one of us ... ... We usually hurt those we love most, the worst ... So you want to know how to make things better???
1st, put the bottle down and some rest and food ... Get to a meeting soon ... see a doctor if your 'withdrawal' symptoms are severe ... if possible, it may do you and your wife good to be separate for a little while while your get your wits about you ... Get a Big Book called 'Alcoholics Anonymous' and read the 1st 164 pages ... go to at least one meeting a day and more if possible ... work the steps you'll find in the book 'with' a sponsor ...
Go to more meetings ...
Don't drink, go to meetings ... This is your ticket out of the situation that you got yourself into ... trust me, it works ... cause I was in your shoes not that long ago ... I DO know what you are going through ...
God Bless, Pappy
P.S. I know it sucks right now, but if you'll do what Dean and others have already suggested, you'll be amazed how quickly you can get your life turned around ... it really is worth living ...
-- Edited by Pythonpappy on Sunday 17th of June 2012 10:58:15 PM
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
*** Major, I have been sober for 2 and a half months, and in the program for 6. I just want it to be clear that I have the utmost respect for Pappy and the old timers. Listen to them, and remember that I am very very new at this too. But I am living proof that your life can turn around VERY fast if you work at it! Find a meeting, a sponsor, work the steps.
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
I truly love what Tasha is trying to say here, but a lot depends on the length of your relationship and just how close you are to your wife at the moment, and what other conditions may be present ... i.e. children, living arrangements, job commitments, etc. ... My suggestion WAS that it MAY be a good idea to separate for a little while ... IF you are as alcoholic as I was, you have too many issues running through your head during detox to have any possibility of dealing with them in any kind of 'sane' manner ... AND any relationship is bound to suffer when the 'sick' person says things they later realize they didn't mean or is sorry for, ... IF they can even remember what they even said ...
It is my experience, that if the opportunity presents itself for allowing you a few days or a few weeks perhaps, alone or in treatment conditions, then by all means consider 'getting your act together' before trying to live with, and make amends to, your 'significant' other ... Usually all or most of our promises to our spouses and family members made during those very early days of sobriety, put so much pressure on us, they smother our chance of learning the program ... and easily backfire and make us look even more helpless to family and friends ...
I am really only trying to make ONE POINT extremely CLEAR HERE ... SOBRIETY should be your NUMBER ONE PRIORITY ... ... ... PERIOD!!! ... Without it ... ... ... NOTHING ELSE REALLY MATTERS!!!
God be with you, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Welcome Major Tom...For me...I found everything I needed to know in the Big Book....The Doctor's Opinion explained to me why I drank like I did...What my problem was...And the first 103 pages explained to me what I needed to do to solve it. I agree with the 90 meetings in 90 days...I doubled that...I was tired of hurting people. Find someone at these meetings that has done the steps...That looks happy and at peace...That has what you want...Grab their coattails and hang on tight...Ask them to show you how they did it. They will. The solution is in the steps...The support is in the meetings....You're not alone. No need to be. Here is the book if you don't have it.