Hi there, I have been strugling with anger issues after I stoped destroying myself and my family with booze, any one else out there with same feelings?
Yeah Gerrit, So was I ... ... ... I was very 'pissed off' at the very thought that I shouldn't drink ... and, at what it had already cost me ... When I 1st got sober, I was angry at the world for not being like I wanted it ... and then very p.o.'d at myself for being sooo weak that I could not 'control' my drinking ... ...
All I can tell you is 'thank God' for this program ... For a long time now, I have enjoyed sobriety and haven't had any serious anger issues at all ... and life is better than I had ever dreamed it could be ... just go to meetings and get a sponsor and work the steps, it works IF you work it ...
Take Care and God Bless, Pappy
P.S. Welcome to MIP ... Share often!
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I know a lot about anger Gerrit. I wasn't an angry person per say; I was just angry with myself mostly and what I'd become. I did live in fear for a good part of my life and anger was a 'coping mechanism' of sorts during that time of need, but it wasn't directed at any specific person though, just misdirected that's all. Basically, I was angry because of my fears, and so are a lot of us.
Whenever I'm troubled and feel angry, I then must ask myself this one question, what am I afraid of? Am I afraid, because I don't know how to control my drinking? Or, is it because I feel lost and out of sorts. There are so many reasons behind our anger issues but only one viable solution in my eyes and it has a lot to do with controlling our fears, not our anger. So here's my suggestion Gerrit; anger is sometimes caused by fear, so control your fears Gerrit and you will manage your anger effortlessly. Welcome to "MIP" though.
-- Edited by Mr_David on Monday 11th of June 2012 02:52:23 AM
Exactly what Pappy said, the concept of not being able to drink pissed me off to no end. I was never an angry drunk but as I sobered up I'd flip out for no reason. So being the alcoholic/ addict I am I knew how to fix that.
Since being involved in AA I've learned other ways to channel my anger issues. I workout for an hour a day and spend about 80% of the day cooking and baking.
Hey Gerret, The feelings are completely normal, but for complex reasons. The best thing to do is keep it simple and follow the simple program for complex people and let time and sanity sort out the complex issues. Keep us posted! Tom
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"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
Aloha Gerrit...Take the Alcoholics of the title and that's me or was me more normally until I got into this program of re-behavior. I've had some really really good mentors one of which led me to Page449 0f the 3rd edition of the Big Book and Dr. Paul's statement on Acceptance. Go get the book and read his entry.
I know where my anger came from and still comes from...it comes from my self centerness and addiction to control outcomes...wanting all of it as I want it. When I do acceptance I cannot do anger...when I do patience I cannot do frustration.
When I got to Step 4 I was taught how to write each one out and get rid of them. It's somethng I still do today when I'm angry and one of the best tools I was ever given.
Step 4 was really important because my resentments were blocking me from God and peace and joy.
I know where my anger came from and still comes from...it comes from my self centerness and addiction to control outcomes...wanting all of it as I want it. When I do acceptance I cannot do anger...when I do patience I cannot do frustration.
Keep coming back.
Hi Gerrit,
these words of Jerry's fit me like a glove. Though I had no anger or resentment when I came in, they followed soon after as I began the painful process of rejoining the human race, and finding my place in it.
And for me it was about unsatisfied instincts, control and expectations. These days I seem to be better, I don't seem to be able to hang onto a grudge, or stay angry for more than a few moments, even if I might want to. God has been doing for me what I could not do for myself.
Thanks to all for your replies, this motivates me even more to fight this desease we all have with a passion.
I worked for an alcohol Distribution Company here in South Africa and that`s how I got sick. no-one put a gun to my head but I am starting to think the company should have had some sort of social responsibility progarmme in place to protect it`s employees adn to prevent what happened to me, I know there are other still working there but they are in denial.
Glad you're still alive and kickin' ... ... ... How's the anger issues doin'? ... Still want to kick some a__ ? ... Are you going to meetings? and are you getting anything out of them? ... Just curious !!!
Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Thanks . will have a look and thanks for the tip and support!