The Man Rules Atlast a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally,the guys' side of the story. (Imust admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear'the rules' From the female side
Now here are the rules from the male side
These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered #1 ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1.. Come to us with a problem onlyif you want help solving it. That's what we do.Sympathy is what your girlfriends arefor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.Don't ask us..
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant theother one
1. You can either ask us to do somethingor tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOTneed directions and neither do we...
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have noidea what mauve is.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear..
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...REALLY.
1.. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football ormotor sports.
1.. You have enough clothes.
1 .. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. RoundIS a shape!
1.. Thank you for reading this.Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight..But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping...
Pass this to as many men as you can -to give them a laugh...
Pass this to as many women as you can -to give them a bigger laugh, because its true!
Hope you had a good laugh ... it's good medicine ... love Ya'll, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I have to be honest- I hesitated opening this. I figured, oh no, here we go. Some of those are really funny and true. Thank you for the laugh. I needed that.
I said to her, I thought the color of the room was purple, but was I corrected, it was violet. Good stuff. I'm sittting in a pizza joint in between meetings by myself laughing up a storm. Getting looks like I did when I was publicly drinking. Thanks pappy.
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Since it cost a lot to win, and even more to loose, you and me gotta spend some time just wondering what to choose.
This was posted on my football message board about the time I joined it, in '05. I chuckled. When I joined this board, in '06, about 90% of the regular posters were women. Only a daily basis, I was the only male, most of time. I used to beg male newbies to the board, to stick around because I was stuck in the box full of women. Sure there were a number of male members, that posted once a month or less. My point is that I don't want to see this trend go the other way.
I like what my first (and greatest) sponsor said "they don't make a pink version of the big book, it's the same for all of us." And he was gay, so it took me awhile to figure out what he meant.
-- Edited by StPeteDean on Saturday 9th of June 2012 07:18:17 AM
I figured, oh no, here we go. Some of those are really funny and true. Thank you for the laugh. I needed that. 
