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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> My old way of living did not work for me anymore... and i just got sicker and sicker
Post Info TOPIC: My old way of living did not work for me anymore... and i just got sicker and sicker
jj


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My old way of living did not work for me anymore... and i just got sicker and sicker
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    The definition of insanity being "doing the same things over and over and expecting a different outcome" is true in both physical and emotional sobriety. The old adolescent ways of getting what we think we need is just as insane because we are using the wrong set of tools to find meaning in life and personal growth.  our original tools (baby tools) for getting gratification is an addictive cycle of feeling empty after the gratification is achieved and leaves us frustrated because it did not last longer than a minute and we are still left wanting that elusive happiness.  Not realizing gratification of our basic needs for love, sex, safety, self esteem, money, and prestige gets out of control, exceeding the "normal limit" of use.  Our desires far exceed their borders and our misdirected instincts turn into liabilities.  When we misuse God given instincts to get what we think will make us happy, we end up perverting the use of those instincts and then justify our excesses...  (12 by 12  pg 49)
 
This cycle generates fear and a soul sickness. We are unsuccessfully trying to fill that hole in our soul.   Wanting to feel better we repeat these old behaviors, over and over, depending on other people to meet our emotional needs.  Living with "feeling incomplete" leads to unhealthy dependency and unhealthy demands and we remain unfulfilled.... this leads to depression and other sicknesses that can only be relieved by surrendering to God's power and presence.  Decide to let go of those adolescent tools that were not meant to bring happiness, they are just instincts for survival.  Living life by gratifying our instincts is living in bondage to self.
 
Only a power greater than ourselves can begin to restore us to sanity.  Saneness means being whole.  We don't need to understand God, or understand His plan for our life, just allow that God is present. Accepting this presence can restore us to wholeness.  We are right where we are supposed to be. All God asks of us is that we have the desire to do God's will.  We can ask God in 5 minute blocks of time (if we want to be sure) "am I doing Your will?  am I doing the right thing right now?"  A circumstance cannot block God's will or our doing God's will.  Only I can let a circumstance block my doing God's will.  The great lie is "I ought to be different."  (don't believe it.)  Our agenda today is to be ourselves today, as we are today...
   be honest, openminded, and willing to do whatever it takes to get and stay sober.  for me that was doing the steps (with a sponsor) and doing service work.                           jj/sheila


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Pythonpappy


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Same here Sheila, ... ... Nice post ... I like it

Pappy



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Mr_David


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Great post Sheila, thanks.



-- Edited by Mr_David on Friday 8th of June 2012 02:08:27 AM

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Fyne Spirit


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Great post Shiela,

I was just talking about an aspect of your post last night. When I came in I knew I had been doing the wrong things for a long time and I resolved to start doing things right. Only my idea of right was somewhat warped and, with the best of intentions, turned out to be wrong as well! Then I began trying to follow God's will to the best of my limited ability, and things got better.

It was kind of frustrating or baffling to discover that not only had I been wrong for so long, but my thinking was so screwed that even what I genuinely thought was right, was wrong. I guess it was part of the insanity.

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gonee


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Wonderful post. Surrender explained in a nutshell with simple terms. Thanks.

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justadrunk


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Great post!

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Thanks for everything.  Peace and Love on your journey.  
Polly


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Thanks and yes great posting. I sure was insane ! And its nice to know that I have been restored even better lol. :}

Polly. X

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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> My old way of living did not work for me anymore... and i just got sicker and sicker