Thanks Tasha. Loved your honesty. Actually, when I thought about dropping her, I thought about you. Remember the post I left about feeling like a clingy sponsee? And you replied something similar to "now I see what a good sponsor does"? I know she's not a bad person, and it's not personal that I'm dropping her. She just needs time to fix herself first.
And I'm not judging the amount of time the woman w 60 days has, but if when you start your 4 step... You go out and buy liquor (regardless of consumption) I think it means that person has missed something, or at the very least is not ready for a 4 step. But there are other things involved and one of those things is that 1. Your recovery is only my business if you want it to be my business. And 2. Resentment, why is it that she has 60 days, shows almost no sign of wanting this, but I have 3 years and some change and hasn't even put me on "how has your life been unmanagable"?! Ugh!!! RESENTMENT OUT THE EARS!!!
Oh! And another thing!!! Don't be all F-ing "I'm going to give a room to my sponsee, let her live rent free in my house, but... It's nt my job to call you" [ok so maybe I'm being a bit petulant here *stomps feet* but grrr... Idek if dropping her hurts her feelings. I know I'm atleast past understanding the drs opinion] try to take my clean date away from me cause I didn't get a sponsor until effing 5/11/12. I worked hard to keep that date, even if I was only dry. Grrr .....
Uh, yeah. Sorry :/
-- Edited by Ruhig on Thursday 7th of June 2012 02:45:16 PM
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sober: showing no excessive or extreme qualities of fancy, emotion, or prejudice
I should really learn to take advice from you guys. I called my sponsor yesterday morning. Mind you, I hadn't called her or spoken to her in about ten days. This is how the fifteen minute conversation went;
sponsor; [my sponsee "sister] bought some alcohol but didn't drink it and so I told her she needed to stop her 4step and go back to step one, and that she needed to change her clean date. Then she told [my "grandsponsor"] that I was feeling like using.
Me; doesn't she only have 60 days? If she didn't drink it, she should have to rebuild her foundation, but not change her date.
Sponsor; and then, I called her to get some pain meds... My sciatica was acting up and I can't fill my script until next Friday. But she never returned my call, so the only conclusion I can come to is that she ate them. But, I have to get off the phone cause the baby just woke up.
I really should have listened the first time I was told to let her go. It's really not my business what meds your on or why you take them, but i know that if my sponsor tried to change my clean date w/o using, and then called me for pain pills, I wouldn't give them to her. If you used a 30 day script in less than 20 days... That's not right. Not to mention... 60 days clean and your on a 4 step? Isn't that microwaving things a bit?
I'm disappointed, and I really don't feel like looking for a new sponsor. But I know in my head and my heart I need these steps. So I'm going to hunt for a sponsor the way I hunted for my substance. Thanks for letting me vent.
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sober: showing no excessive or extreme qualities of fancy, emotion, or prejudice
Definitely sounds 'fishy' to me too ... Look for someone who enjoys life and living, someone that's always happy to see you, someone that 'sobriety' looks good on ...
Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Doesn't seem like someone that you want what they have. Look for someone who has what you want. Then do what they did/do. Pray to your HP for a fit Sponsor. When you're ready, one will appear.
I think Bill was 60 days when he started carrying the message - so I'm not sure I agree with a time limit or any restriction in that dept. But that's just me.
Good luck finding a new sponsor. It's not always easy, but I'm sure if you open your heart and mind to it (pray about it), things will work out.
For me, hearing the above statement did not reassure me in the least, so just know, I'm rooting for you, and thinking about you. : )
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
I think Bill was 60 days when he started carrying the message - so I'm not sure I agree with a time limit or any restriction in that dept. But that's just me.
Good luck finding a new sponsor. It's not always easy, but I'm sure if you open your heart and mind to it (pray about it), things will work out.
For me, hearing the above statement did not reassure me in the least, so just know, I'm rooting for you, and thinking about you. : )
Amen Tasha. You'll find another sponsor Ruhig, it's only a matter of time. Just keep doing what you're doing until then, okay. You're bound to find someone new.
